What Is It Really Like to Stay in A Mental Hospital?
I was diagnosed with bipolar about 16 years ago and it took years for me to find an effective treatment. At the time, I was very suicidal but I wouldn’t go to a hospital. I said, and I really meant, “I would rather die than go to one of those places.” But, much to my surprise, a few years later, when I was again very suicidal, I checked myself into one of those places. I stayed in a mental hospital.
What Are Mental Hospitals Like?
Mental hospitals, or psychiatric wards (which is, technically, where I was), are all different. Some offer the basic service of keeping you alive while others offer all types of therapies and treatment. Some are really designed for shorter term stays, like three days, while others are more able to handle longer stays such as those of a few months. It really does vary. And I would say that the quality of care available at different mental hospitals vary as well.
What Was My Stay at a Mental Hospital Like?
I admitted myself to the mental hospital after tearfully explaining to too many professionals in the emergency department that I was acutely suicidal. Doctors, of course, made the ultimate decision to admit me. Once there, they went through the few things I had brought with me, confiscated my medication (except the birth control pill) and showed me to a bed (it was late by the time I got there – hours in the emergency room to blame).
Not surprisingly, I was in pretty bad shape so every little thing seemed like an ordeal. I brought, quite intelligently, my own tissues and used far too many of them (those given out in the hospital are scratchy and unpleasant if you’re going to cry your way through the days).
The next day a general doctor came by to assess my overall health. Basic blood tests were run, my blood pressure was checked, that sort of thing. And then my psychiatrist (who worked at the hospital) came by. He promptly changed my medications drastically. Not surprising considering how badly I was doing but rapid medication changes are highly unpleasant under any circumstances. It seems to me, though, that this type of treatment is more common in the mental hospital as doctors know that any side effects that come up will be medical supervised and while unpleasant, are likely not dangerous.
The next morning I woke up to a nurse shaking me awake and yelling at me to come and have breakfast in the common room. I said to the nurse, “I can’t see.”
However, she didn’t hear me, she didn’t believe me or she didn’t care because the last thing I remember was her leaving my room yelling at me to go have breakfast.
At that point I realized something. I realized that if I looked straight down, I could see my toes. I didn’t know why I could only see my toes, but somehow, that day, I made it to the common room and ate breakfast, only looking at my toes.
What had happened, of course, was side effect. For me, the medication was so strong I couldn’t wake, and when I was forcibly awoken, I remained so stoned that my eyelids, physically, wouldn’t open. This gave me the impression of blindness but, really, it’s just that I could only life my eyelids a tiny amount and thus could only see my feet.
I saw my psychiatrist again that day and explained what had happened. While I was rather disturbed by the experience he didn’t seem concerned in the least. I can’t remember if we adjusted things at that point or if the side effect wore off on its own. I saw him most days and we tweaked things regularly.
I was then introduced to group therapy – an every morning event – and art therapy --- every other day. And that was it for the therapies offered. It was pretty lackluster.
What It Was Like for Me to Stay in the Mental Hospital
In my case, as I was in a non-locked ward and I had signed myself in, I could sign myself out for short periods of time too so while I was “in” the mental hospital, I actually spent a lot of time in the park next door.
I will say that while I was there, they mixed up medications twice – I have no idea why. Maybe a doctor who writes too fast, maybe too many changes at once, who knows. But the nurses never took kindly to being told that.
I will also say that I thought the nurses were mostly crap. While I’m sure it varies all over, my experiences with them were mostly negative. When I went to speak to them at the desk, they would literally ignore my presence and go on about their conversations as if I wasn’t there. And I, being extremely sick, was in no position to assert myself. It’s like they thought they should ignore me because I was “crazy.”
I was also allowed to use the phone (one per floor) when I wanted – not that I really wanted to talk to anyone.
I had visitors and I don’t remember there being any set hours for their visiting. Someone dropped off books and another took me home so I could shower there instead of at the hospital.
All in all, it was really unpleasant. But then, I was so depressed and so suicidal, I can’t imagine anything being anything but unpleasant.
I cried my way through two weeks there until I and my doctor thought I was okay to go home. When I admitted myself I never thought I would stay that long. I thought they would keep me from killing myself for a couple of days and that would be it. But, instead, my doctor did want to see an improvement of some sort before I left.
In my next article I’ll sum up what I learned in the mental hospital and whether I think others should go to mental hospitals.
You can find Natasha Tracy on Facebook or Google+ or @Natasha_Tracy on Twitter or at Bipolar Burble, her blog.
APA Reference
Tracy, N.
(2015, January 20). What Is It Really Like to Stay in A Mental Hospital?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, December 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2015/01/what-is-it-really-like-to-stay-mental-hospital
Author: Natasha Tracy
Psychiatric Hospitals aren't as good as they paint them to be. I feel like being in a psychiatric hospital is better suited for me. I just need to find one that will treat me nicely because I hate when people ignore me, yell at me, offend me and make me feel stupid. I suffer from major depression and ADHD. I've gone to various therapists and they are minimally helping me. I feel they are. My family thinks I'm stupid and I really feel like I don't belong anywhere. Distancing myself from the world I think is best.
I've never been diagnosed with anything because I've never asked to be taken to see someone. I feel a need to more now though. In the past few months I've gone in a downward spiral starting my cutting problem that I'm trying to stop. Then the suicidal thoughts that are constantly there. It's like a constant battle on whether or not to listen to myself. I think I'm worthless or if I upset someone I deserve to lead from it and never to make the mistake again. I have actually attempted suicide before which makes me want to talk now. Everyday especially in social situations things become too much and I'm thinking stuff like someone kill me. I want to die. So I'm ready for a mental hospital, I just want to go and get the help I need, fix me before it's too late. Plus on top of those things sometimes I think I shouldn't eat and sometimes I won't because of that. Anyway I was reading this to try to get a sense of what it would be like for me
I am angry, bitter, mad, frustrated,in pain, hurt and so many other emotions
I can't even talk to anyone because I am scares of being judged because that's the world we live in right?
I don't remember when it all started but one thing do sure is i have become very good at living two lives, the person everyone expects to see in me and the real broken me when I'm alone
The only thing that consoles me is that death will be my peaceful place of rest.
How can one come back to being normal again?
A life without tears every night
I am drowning in my mess of thoughts and emotions everyday
Crying out for someone to help yet no one actually notices
Mental facilities?? Just another way to earn more points for condemnation
I just don't know what to do anymore
Yes I have been in 2 different mental hospitals 5 times within the last 13 years. Of course they are different. The hardest part for me was I was working at the hospital that I was admitted to. The longest I was a the hospital was 3 weeks. They have different groups throughout the day with different Therapists for each group. You can be a part of the group or just sit and listen that's what I did the first time. But once I got used to the different surroundings and people I learned to relax and it was much easier to participate. The last time I was hospitalized was just in September with very high suicidal thoughts. I was in there for 10 days. The Dr. Did change some of my med which is very hard for me because I'm not real sure about a Dr. That I've only seen for a week can change my med without talking with my Dr. But I have to admit it was the best thing for me at the time.
I just want to be comitted to a mental institution and in adult diapers
In the psych ward, the staff does not interact with you. They observe you. They evaluate you. They warehouse you. If necessary, they sedate you. At least until your insurance runs out. They are not there to make you feel better. They are there to make you "non-suicidal."
This is one of the reasons I want to be a psychiatrist. This shouldn't happen. These people should be there to help and offer assistance.
in some cases its humiliation of some kind, in others its not. I've seen some bad stuff however normally the staff and people who are in charge are there to help you.
I need help my kids dad is gonna take.my kids away from me and if he succeedes i have no reason to live anymore i am all alone i have no friends or family my kids are all i have if i lose them im done
Hi Delina,
I'm sorry to hear you are in that situation. I'm sure it's very hard.
I recommend you talk to a lawyer immediately. If you can't afford one, I recommend searching for free law clinics. Do some Googling around your area and see what lawyers might be able to help you.
If you do have a mental illness, I recommend contacting the National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI) as they may have more suggestions.
- Natasha Tracy
I am so tired. I just don't want to live anymore. Been thinking of checking myself into a psych ward but the last time I went I had to go to an underfunded hospital and my experience there did more damage than good. I pretended to be better just to get out.
Hello, I have been going through a hard time this month due to my boyfriend being in Florida to visit his,family and being as insecure as I am I don't believe he'll be back even though he has told me he would.. today I hit myself with a,hammer in the face deliberately and to be honest in felt good.. I don't know if therapy is helping or my anti depressants but I don't know what to do I am only 23 and I hate my life.. I also think I may be bipolar.
Hi Jay,
I'm sorry you're going through a tough time right now. I can understand that sometimes self-harm feels good, but you have to understand it's not good for you. You need professional help as soon as possible. If you feel you may hurt yourself, call 9-1-1 immediately.
You can also reach out to a helpline: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer… You do not have to be suicidal to call.
You may also wish to note that if you have bipolar disorder, antidepressants alone could actually make you worse. Make sure you discussed your concerns of bipolar disorder with your therapist and with a medical doctor.
I understand hating your life, I really do. But it doesn't have to be this way, you just need the right help.
- Natasha Tracy
I would love to be in the mental facility cause I know I’m too crazy and insane and I laughed too much and I just feel right at home in there. Cause there no hope for me not any more.
I wish I can stop all the pain that I feel inside cause of what my spouse told me.
Hi Krystal,
I'm sorry to hear your spouse has been so unsupportive. I recommend some therapy to help in dealing with the ramifications.
- Natasha Tracy
I am getting anti religious thoughts in my mind for last 4 years which has made my life miserable. i want to commit suicide.
Hi Khan,
I'm sorry to hear you are having intrusive thoughts that you don't want. I know that can be very hard. Please know that therapy can help with this. If you're feeling suicidal, you should see a healthcare professional as soon as possible. Please call a helpline if you feel you are in danger right now: http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/united-kingdom-suicide-hotlines.html
I know this is hard, but it can get better.
- Natasha Tracy
I've been in two hospitals after suicide attempts. I was fortunate to have had a positive experience. The staff were kind and helpful and there were activities throughout the day. While nobody wants to be sick enough to be hospitalized, it helped me a lot.
Im 15, I've always suffered from mental disorders my whole life (my anxiety, depression was first noticed when i was 4, but diagnosed much later on at 14), i've dropped out of multiple schools and i find daily tasks that involve leaving the house too overwhelming. I still haven't found good help but i want to get my life sorted, i've never been to a mental hospital before, but I am not in school right now and I feel like it might be a good place to sort myself out and maybe get some work done. Do you think it would help me if i checked myself into a hospital? Are mental hospitals the sort of places that can help you get back on the right track academically as well as emotionally?
Hi Ella,
Mental hospitals are all different so it's hard to say what any one could do for you. You can research specific facilities and consider whether they are right for you.
What you might consider is a partial hospitalization program (also known as a day program). Generally, people are only admitted to a hospital when there is a danger. An outpatient program, though, is an intense program that can help you while you live at home. It's probably more appropriate for you.
Talk to a doctor about your options.
- Natasha Tracy
YOU made a good step reaching out...use resources...gain knowledge....remember when you look at reviews and read other peoples experiences that those are NOT you. My daughter is 19 and she is in college . She suffers from anxiety and depression. Continue your education is very important. See if there is a school that you can do online. This will give you a sense of accomplishment at your own speed. The pressures in Life can be overwhelming. My daughter started taking yoga (also you can do online) listening to calm peaceful music. Praying to God for help for STRENGTH , COURAGE and WISDOM to help you manage your anxiety and depression. YOU are LOVED and GOD is there for YOU. GOD is listening. Journal and write down how your feeling and why . It helps me when I have things weighing on my mind. I write it sown and then I let it go. There are certain things that TRIGGER certain feelings...try to figure out exact things that make you anxious and depressed then....find ways to help you process the feelings.....deep breathe....go to your room and sing....play happy songs...drink tea with no caffeine but that calms you. My daughter is 19 but she still enjoys good Disney movies they make her happy. YOU CAN....BE POSITIVE....FOCUS ON YOU....KNOW THAT YOU ARE LOVED!
I want to negotiate to be put in a mental hospital I will sign a contract
Hi Ike,
If you'd like to be admitted to a hospital, walk into an ER and talk to them. Maybe do some research on which facility is best for you before you do that. Also, see where your insurance is taken.
You can also call a helpline and ask them about the best way to be admitted: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
- Natasha Tracy
Hi.. I used an anonymous name as what I’m going to discuss is rather personal... however I feel I really need this... so.. I’m 15. When I was younger.. around 7 or 8 I was... raped.. by a babysitter... god I hate that word... but, I read this because.. since then I’ve been dealing with the trauma on my own... I can’t seem to find a healthy way to deal with this and I’ve just about given up... at this point I don’t care if I die or not... in my eyes I see it like well.. I won’t be happy but I won’t have to deal with this every second of my stupid life... I barely get sleep at night as I suffer from nightmares, and flashbacks are a constant reminder of it... no matter what I do it’s like it’s controlling my life... destroying me... I want it to stop... I want this all to stop! But.. it’s not that easy... that’s why I began looking into mental hospitals... I have a fear of it to be honest... going to one that is.. so I decided to gain some insight on what it’s really like... and I’d like to ask if it’s what would help me... I’m ready to seek the help.. I am in need of it... would a mental hospital be too much... perhaps I should simply see a psycologist?... I don’t know what to do...
Hi Sakura,
A mental hospital is usually for people who are a danger to themselves or others. If you haven't tried seeking out a psychologist who specializes in dealing with trauma, you should definitely do that. Also, there are groups that specialize in helping those in your situation, too. Try calling a helpline for more information: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
Don't give up. I have been sexually assaulted too, but I have gotten past it and so can you with help.
- Natasha Tracy
Recovery from what happened to you needs healing. You can have your life back. You can process what happened to you and let it go. Find a Christian church that will help you put your faith in God and let him LOVE YOU. God will heal YOU if you let him. Understand that this will take time. There are so many caring Loving people in this world. Your experience saddens my heart. You are Loved and You can heal from this experience. Have you ever heard LET GO LET GOD? This means you focus on you and not what happened to you focus on recovery. When my mind gets filled with things I can't control I journal. It really helps because you can let it go. Stop the constant reminders of your pain. Write it do and let it go. Journal will help you look back and remind yourself to look forward and always always remember YOU ARE LOVED!
I’m in an ER and I tried to overdose and puked up blood and when I got here in the waiting room and I nearly fainted. I am about to ride in an ambulance with our choice to go to a mental hospital what should I be expecting? I’m kind of nervous after reading this because it sounds more negative the way you worded it than positive
Hi Me,
It's hard to say exactly what will happen when you reach your psychiatric hospital. I would expect some sort of an intake, but I don't know how much of that might have already been done in the ER. Both your mental and physical health will be assessed.
After that, they will probably tell you about the rules of the hospital -- they are all different -- and then slowly work you into the routine of the facility.
See, all mental health facilities are different and some people have a very positive experience with them. Believe me when I tell you, a stay in a mental hospital is sometimes the best thing and can absolutely turn your treatment in a positive direction.
It's natural to be scared, but remember, these people are professionals that are there to help you.
- Natasha Tracy
i know i will be going to a mental hospital when i grow up right not im still at a young age. I know i will go their because i think of these things that i want to do and these things are not good and its to the point where i would go to a mental hospital not a prison but i hate talking to therapist even though i never went i dont like to take drugs at all i think about things normal people would think im insane. i just wanted to share this i please reply back on what i should do. Btw i am a girl but i will give u a different name
Hi Gerkect,
Thanks for your comment. I'm sorry to hear you feel that way. Honestly, the best thing you can do is reach out for help from a doctor or psychotherapist. I know you said you don't like talking to therapists, but you need to reach out for help in order to get better. It's worth it.
- Natasha Tracy
Well thanks for the comment but i will not talk to anybody i would rather be forced into it that have the choice and i have made the choice i am going to live the way i want but i know it will not be good for me i hate my life but i love myself so i will make it better and do what i want to do and there is no way i am going to a doctor or a psychotherapist so is there anything else if not then im going to regret my desision the rest of my life. I am young still and im am a girl and i will give you a fake name.
Hi I have had cripling depression 2 and never gone but my mom thinks I should go my freind whent to a mental hospital this year and didn't have good thing to say im scarred should I go or should I stay home?
Hi Danny,
I can't tell you what to do as this is a very personal question. What I can say is that you should research any facility you might choose to stay at and see what their programs are like.
I can also tell you that some people consider their stay in a mental hospital to be the positive turning point in their treatment that they needed.
That said, not every stay is positive, so you need to decide for yourself if it's right for you.
- Natasha Tracy
So recently I've been depressed and suicidal and my mom said if I continue to hurt myself she can "check me in at a clinic somewhere" so basically a mental hospital. From my perspective, it's basically a prison for mentally ill people with no privacy once so ever. Now, reading this, I'm more releaved. However, if I ever end up going to one of those places, which I hope to god I won't—I think it'll be the worst experience of my life. Should I not be so worried?
Hi Cloud,
I can understand your fear, really. But I honestly think you don't need to be so worried. Yes, some people have bad experiences, I know that, but many have positive experiences. Either way, there is no reason to worry now -- just work on getting better outside of a hospital if you can.
- Natasha Tracy
I still have some nightmares from staying there. I volunteerly admitted myself there (I regret it to this day)-It freaked me out staying there and all the staff believed I was normal and was wondering why I was there. It wasn't relaxing (more of a nightmare)-talked to the staff to get through it. The doctor came once in a while. There was a patient that kicked a chair against a wall. My roommate was crazy (and dangerous) and was taken into another room and locked up. The doctor wasn't very good, kept making me stay longer and wanted to up the dosage of anti-depressants (it blocked me from crying). It was a locked mental hospital (can only go out 30 minutes a day for physical activity). Personally I would rather go on a retreat or see a therapist than go to a mental hospital ever again or just see a movie or a concert. It cost a lot of money to stay there. Personally I would rather go on vacation, see a museum for the cost of it. There were no mirrors (I didn't know why).
It felt like my home life. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere. It felt like a prison.
Hi J,
I'm very sorry you had that experience. I will say, all facilities are not the same and many are far from that.
- Natasha Tracy
ive been there not allowed to shut the door and the nurses are [moderated] you have to wear an outfit so bad so that you might as well be naked. You have you bag checked before you step foot and they snatched my necklaces and phone litteraly from me and sayed we dont tollerate teens going do i need to call my friend to bust me out? They also sayed that i can't have my necelace because im gonna choke myself wit them
Hi Lexi,
I know how hard some wards can be. Depending on where you are and the circumstances under which you were admitted, things can be very strict.
And while I know this must be frustrating, it is for your safety as a patient. Yes, you could choke yourself with your necklaces. Maybe you never would, but the nurses can't know that and can't take that chance.
I know these things that are for your safety are hard to accept, but remember, you won't be there forever. Try to get better while you have those safeguards around you. That's what everyone wants.
- Natasha Tracy
The worst experience in life is when a person that you care about commits suicide. Folks, there are patient rights. INVOKE THE RIGHT TO BE TREATED WITH RESPECT. You may need an outside advocate to help make the call to the state.
You can also call them psychiatric wards, or psych wards. Seems a little less daunting to me
From my experience psych wards are busy, dangerous, tense, supportive, and chaotic. I stayed at one with 47 beds 3 times and there was a code white each day. I don't know what the average person thinks but I can relate to your description. Nurses are busy and overworked and generally grumpy. Although I did have one nurse who said she took the same meds as me and we talked about that. The doctor told me the point was to get me stable on meds and that's it. It think it would be nice if there were psychological therapies aswell. The food was a 6/10. Lasagna was my favorite.
I also had a few stays at a regional 'mental health centre' and it was quick different. There were only about 20 beds in my unit so it was much quieter. Patients were generally more stable so fewer code whites although when there was one the nurse swarmed big time and wore face guards for spitting. I still cant get those memories out of my head. I have seem doctors call code whites for nothing at all. A patient can refuse to speak to the doctor and all of a sudden she calls a code white and the poor patient is given a needle.
I think psych wards need way more money to build more space and make the wards nicer looking and may more private rooms. I was in a room with 3 other people. Gross.
I'm no opposed to involuntary admission but I think if there going to do they have a responsibility to make the experience as positive as possible. Again, more financial investment would go a long way.
Hi. So how do you feel about privacy laws being changed in wards? Like for me i hate my body and don't want anyone to see me nude. I've been admitted and making me strip in front of a total stranger, a camera, and a open door just made things worse. I thought these places were meant to help people, not make them hate themselves more...privacy isn't respected in those places, that's one of the worst issues about them.
Hi, friend. Just wanted to let you know that if someone requires you to reveal your body to them when you do not want to, it is sexual assault. And it's awful. And legal. And still not right. I just want you to know that your feelings of invasion are 100% valid. You did not deserve that, and they were absolutely in the wrong, to make you do that.
Hi Ike,
Anyone can walk into an ER and say they need admittance to a facility for their own protection. Doctors will assess whether this is necessary, of course, but if you feel strongly that you need it, I recommend you talk to a doctor and make that clear either through an appointment or through an ER.
You can also call a helpline for advice and help: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
- Natasha Tracy
Where can I find your next article, I have my son in a mental hospital. They said they recommend residential but I’m confused. I don’t know if I really want to see him there. He’s been getting worse and I’m in the military and have to move to another state in which I will find out next month in May. I also have an