The Mystery Behind Schizophrenia

October 27, 2011 Dan Hoeweler

The Mystery

Schizophrenia has been an enigma throughout the ages. I have experienced firsthand the alternate realities and monsters that lie deep within the bowels of psychosis. Through a multifaceted approach of medication, the treatment of a sleep disorder and lifestyle changes I have, at least temporarily, been able to ward off the terrifying demons of one of medical science's most feared and misunderstood illnesses. This brings me here, to try to explain the mystery that has eluded so many throughout the ages.

The Terror Behind Schizophrenia

Louis WainSchizophrenia is, in short, terror. This particular type of terror is different than that of most mental disorders, as it has absolutely no basis in reality. I believe this terror exists out of fictionalized versions of our deepest fears, from within the darkest regions of our psyche, and then brought to life. Once afflicted, imagined demons resurrected from the subconscious stalk our every move and intend to harm us every waking hour of our day.

We are believers in false persecution. Under the spell of psychosis, every person is a murderous assassin or spy. Every TV holds a deciphered message and every empty window holds a hidden camera.

Imagine a horror story unfolding before you, every day, everywhere all the time. Imagine a legion of your most feared enemies following you, without being able to hide or escape. Imagine the constant fear of doom and smell of your own death in the air. Imagine that, and then you can imagine what Schizophrenia is.

My First Encounter with Schizoaffective Disorder

When I first became psychotic in 2000, my first delusion was that my roommate and former friend intended to harm me in some manner. With that single thought, a seed was planted, that sprouted into a tree. Soon everywhere I was, he had sent assassins that wanted to destroy me. Then came the voices from dark alleyways, speaking in deep eerie perfect tones about my impending doom.

Psst, come here. Come here, or I’m gonna get you.

Who could have known a single false belief could sprout such damage.

Hope Through Treatment

My enemies had changed over the years, from psychopathic roommates, to villainous CIA agents to nefarious thought manipulating aliens. In the end, they were all one and the same. They were simply figments of a mind that wished to destroy itself. There was no escape from them it seemed, until years later, when I found a medication my body tolerated. If it was not for that particular medicine, I would possibly not be writing this right now, and instead be trying to figure out how to elude those clever CIA agents.

If you are reading this, you too have probably been touched or known someone who has been touched by similar demons. I can only hope that someday through different forms of treatment, more people will make good recoveries and learn to successfully battle their illness. Eventually, they will find themselves facing what their demons really are; a possession of the mind.

APA Reference
Hoeweler, D. (2011, October 27). The Mystery Behind Schizophrenia, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 14 from

Author: Dan Hoeweler

November, 13 2011 at 4:39 am

Sir, yours is the most concise explanation of what it's like to go through this hell. My son who is thirty now has been going through this in the exact sequence as yours. It also started with one person to several persons, the secret service to freemasons and then finally to eighter demons and or aliens. Unfortunately, he has been hospitalized two times and has to follow a community partners outfit and so far sir he does not follow with the meds. Sir, please give me some advice as to help my beloved son. He was in his third year of becoming an electrician with a young son and wife and now this life is all gone. He lives with us his parents and is not making any progress. He now yells and screams at his demons out loud some nights and does not sleep. He calls me mother instead of his usual man title. Please tell me how to help him!!!

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Dan Hoeweler
November, 13 2011 at 11:25 am

Everyone's situation is unique, and though I don't know him personally I can tell you some things that have worked for me. The medication is the first line of defense I have against psychosis. If I don't take my medication I degenerate, and once I reach a certain point, it is difficult for me to stay on my treatment. I try to stay on top of the illness and use preventative techniques to mitigate relapses when I am feeling like myself. This includes exercise, not drinking, staying active, and of course medication. The illness itself makes it difficult for me to stay on treatment unless I have a certain level of control over it to begin with, as seems to be the problem in his case. I wish I could wave my wand and tell everyone the answer they need, but every situation is so unique that it is nearly impossible to do so. I wish him the best though.

November, 14 2011 at 3:48 am

Thank you so much for responding sir. When my son was released at the end of Feb. of this year he had been on Geodon for about two months and when he came home he was so close to his old self we so happy. We had our son back. He even contarcted his previous electrical company ready to continue where he left off. His old mentor was so excited to have him back. But things seemed to change again and his buddy did not call him back for work. My son stopped the Geodon and went back to the bottom and maybe worse this time with the voices now he screams at. He won't let me help him at all. I don't dare say much to the community people because of fear of forcing him back to that aweful hospital. You get to a point of not knowing what to do anymore.

Somnath Chanda
March, 6 2013 at 2:41 am

I have suffering from paranoid schizophrenia for 18 years and under medical treatment but no permanent remedy till found. Life became burden and sleepless night. Please give me proper advice.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Dan Hoeweler
April, 11 2013 at 8:21 am

I think the treatments for every individual are so customized that it is nearly impossible to give an answer to everyone. I really am not experienced treating people, I just write about my own experiences. Personally I've never been able to battle this illness without medical help. I hope you get better.

November, 24 2013 at 10:24 pm

You say"Fragments of the mind that wishes to destroy itself" but I think of it as fragment of the mind that wishes to know itself. So the bast alternative is to confront it and understand it. Instead of temporary wakening its symptoms. Just tell me how can it be, Damon; alien; FBI; for some peleidions; for other star sed; for some shemanism; for some prophecy of a deities; for others, friends and other conspiring to commit crime on them; and for the person like prophet Joshua of Nigeria it is a message from god. So it just fragment of our imagination unable to understand itself. Or can there be some sort of collective mind with need to explore itself?

November, 25 2013 at 9:51 pm

Also if you meet any saintlogy persons they will tell you another story. Do you think the medics now it for sure? Medications also have side effects and only used to suppress the symptoms.

October, 27 2015 at 6:01 am

I feel I'm in an alternate reality. Like family members are only demons disguised as my friends/family. I don't know how much more I can take.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Dan Hoeweler
November, 4 2015 at 5:19 am

Sometimes I think there is a piece of truth in our delusions. For example I used to think that my roommate was out to get me. The reality of the situation was he was just a difficult person, but I guess my imagination didn't want to see it that way. Strange how it works out sometimes.

October, 27 2015 at 6:03 am

@war&pace. How do you know about TB Joshua?

May, 2 2016 at 10:50 am

Thanks for this, I suffer from schizoaffective and i was once a paranoid schizophrenic. I have been hospitalized twice due to my disorder. The whole year of 2013 i didn't do much because I was still fighting the insanity.
Now I feel capable with the medicine that has been presribed to me. I have new hope I go to school, work, and even volunteer at my local church. It is such a huge transformation that i feel like i have been healed.
I just struggle keeping up with everyone else. I can't work hard outside like used to. Sometimes i can't think straight. I struggle with mood swings and it discourages me.
However, i keep pressing on. I keep taking my medicine before i go to bed. I try every day to behave my self by keeping myself in check. I just recently seen a counselor at my school because i felt this urge to do something i didn't want to do. Its funny because i call myself high maintenance.
I like this article because it explains the things i went through that i couldn't explain. I just want to leave a comment and say things could get better. Keep seeing specialists that are willing to help.
I plan on becoming a mental health counselor. Pretty soon i will go to UCF to study pychology. I hope to help people like me cope with with some of the crazy things are dealing with.
Peace, Robert

May, 20 2016 at 6:58 pm

I guess you can call it a "disorder"...but really it's not. It's reality; another reality. There are demons, and there are angels. And I am a demon from heaven. I'm not schizophrenic, but the doctors say I am. IM NOT! I actually do communicate with the spiritual realm and people think I'm just suffering from a mental disorder cause apparently everything I say is stupid and unreal. Get real people. It's a great experience. They're my friends. They're monsters in my head that I get along with and they are very understanding although they do try and kill me sometimes. They want to take over me but I won't let them do that ;) They're actually not that scary once you get to know them you know. They are watching me all the time. They are mine, and I am theirs. No medication can stop me! I belong in that place! No-one can kill them! And no-one can kill me! Bye.

May, 20 2016 at 7:06 pm


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