Bipolar Disorder and Drinking

I have a bipolar husband and I completely agree that alcohol makes it worse.
As well as bipolar, he's ocd and though he's not a physical abuser, I almost wish he was. His verbal abuse is way more harmful than being hit. You can't take back what you say and when he adds alcohol he's twice as bad. There is no such thing as a good drunk. My philosophy is instant asshole, just add alcohol and that fits most drunks I know to a tee. When you add a psychological to drinking the bipolar becomes more pronounced and makes for a very bad situation.
I'm now trying to end this disaster of a marriage but he won't leave. I don't want to get the police involved because he might become physical. I'm going to talk to a psychologist myself and see if he has any ideas on how I can end this on a more amicable note. I don't want to end my life, I want to end my marriage while I've still got some sanity. I'm losing my mind fast. Your damned if you do and you're damed if you don't

I have an ex who used to get mean when he got drunk. Didn't start until six months in. He did it twice. Now he's an ex. And I'm happily married to a wonderful man. Stay strong and get out! P.S. not all bipolars are like that.

Alcohol works better than any psychiatric drug !
I've read your posts re: when the pain is so great that you can't go on, have given up, don't shower or brush my teeth ... just breathe. And I agreed with you and all the comments.
But when the pain goes on and on and on ad infinitum, alcohol relieves that pain, if only for the time being. It saves me. It give me a break.
My mind can at last rest. No other drug can do that ... can take me away into a pleasant place ... can actually put a little smile on my face.

Hi,
I am struggling with alcohol dependency and bipolar I depressive/suicidal symptoms at present. I really want some inspiration as to how much better I will feel as a bipolar off alcohol. My worst problem is obsessive ruminations over past wrongs (towards me). Alcohol seems to numb the brain pain associated but does it make them worse?
Any ideas, inspiration, resources (web,etc) much appreciated.
Thanks.

Hi Linda,
I can understand that alcohol numbs the pain and I can understand you wanting to do that. But that numbing is a mask and it will never truly make the pain go away. It's only when you're sober and can truly deal with those issues that you can rid yourself of them for good.
I hope you're getting therapy because they can support you and can help you get past these issues. Also, you might want to look into support groups, possibly through the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA).
You are not alone. Many people are struggling with same issues you are. Addiction and bipolar disorder are common together. You will find people who are just like you.
And if I can just say one more thing from personal experience: I had to watch my father, a bipolar and alcoholic, drink his life away and be sad his whole life long because he could never deal with the pain with all the alcohol piled on top. It saddens me greatly that he could never find the peace he deserved because of the alcohol. Don't be like him. You deserve better.
- Natasha

Hi Linda,
I was like you - a drinker. I love drinking hard drinks until I pass out. Last month, I have emotional breakdown and I bought one bottle of Vodka, but I didn't continue it. Think about this - Not only that affects your mental,.. think about your liver also. It will kill your life. If you want to live longer, be kind to your liver.
I don't drink until at this very moment. My last was last April and it had proven me that drinking affected the way I'm thinking.

Linda: alcohol is a terrible drug culturally and physically. it's also really, really bad for us Type 1s. I struggle with it myself, and it does provide temporary relief, but I pay a high price for a few hours of numb. alcohol gets you to sleep, but also disrupts its quality and jacks up mania the follow day(s). I find sanity needs a solid foundation of sleep, which is not always easy to come by with a mood disorder. alcohol perpetuates and compounds manic symptoms.
I recently read Anne M. Fletcher's book Sober For Good, which outlines many sobriety pathways and resources. I recommend it, it's helped me start shifting my thinking and behavior.

Thanks so much to you both, your words ring very true and I am really sorry about your father, Natasha. Well done on not drinking, Lily Grace!
Yes, i saw my therapist today and am not drinking tonight and am committing to 30 sleeps, as per an online blog, without alcohol. These obsessions have gone too far. I have been going to mindfulness lessons and it's going to have to be the way to handle any fall-out but I am optimistic that I can do this!
Thanks again.

Thanks, K G. I will check it out and I agree that self-medicating for sleep is another convenient thing about drink.

I was drinking pretty hard, to ease the pain and make me feel normal. I quit in december and have had a few relapses, nothing major. I am on 1800mg of lithium and 1000mg of gabopentin. I have been medicated for 3 months, it is very difficult, the changes in your life, the things that are so much different now. It is scarey and hard to understand why it has to be this way. I will keep going and hope that someday soon, i will understand what it is all about.

My wife has Bi polar and we have three young children who have all seen Mum get bent out of shape when she drinks. She stopped for a while but now it is becoming a problem again, we seem to be ok through the day but it turns to shit at night and she only has to have half a glass of wine. It stresses me out and the our 12 and 9 yr old watch her like a hawke. All i wish for her is to stop and have a nil alcahol life as it hightens her mania and she won't listen??????????????

i am sathish
i have mood disorder but i dink alco very much and take my medication also if any one knows its said effects tell me pls.....

Hello to all,
I had been struggling with awkward mood swings and at times I wanted to die. After being misdiagnosed and then finally gotten answers I was told I was Bipolar Type 2.
THERE ARE MANY TRIGGERS THAT CAN EASILY WORSEN BIPOLAR;
I have noticed if I drink at least ONE drink, the next day I will be depressed all day.
ONE DRINK OR ANY SIP OF ALCOHOL IS WORTH IT.
THINK ABOUT THIS. How long does it take you to at least find some peace and be stable. Then by doing something like having one drink of alcohol all the bad things that can happen from one drink. Well at least this is what happens to me.
BIPOLAR IS A MONSTER THAT SEEMS TO BE FOLLOWING YOU ALL THE TIME. It follows you wherever you go at anytime of day. The thing is trying to keep that MONSTER FROM TRIGGERING AND ATTACKING YOU.
I am 22 and it is very difficult to live with this mental illness. Episodes of depression or mania last for who knows how long. The thing I say to myself when I GO THROUGH AN EPISODE IS:
" IT WILL GO AWAY. I AM STRONG. I WON'T LET IT HURT ME. YOU CAN ATTACK ME BUT YOU CAN'T BREAK ME."
MY POINT IS DONT DRINK ALCOHOL, GET 8 hrs of sleep, don't watch depressive movies, eat three meals a day, surround yourself with loved ones, keep your head up, take your medication, and MOST OF ALL IN YOUR HEART AND BRAIN THERE IS A LITTLE PART THAT CONTAINS PEACE WITHIN YOU.
MAYBE SOME OF US WILL ALWAYS BE CHAINED DOWN TO THIS BIPOLAR,it's a chain that might never be broken BUT A CHAIN THAT ONLY A FEW OF US CARRY BECAUSE EVEN WHEN WE ARE AT OUR WEAKEST, WE CARRY IT AND IT MAKES US STRONGER!

ONE DRINK OR SIP OF ALCOHOL IS NOT WORTH IT!!!

This problem with alcohol must vary, because I occasionally have a beer when I'm in severe depression or not, and I don't get mean and the bipolar doesn't get worse. The vast majority of psychiatrists I've had said it was fine to have a glass of wine with my husband at dinner. In fact, only one thought it was a bad idea. I kept detailed mood charts for years, including alcohol use as a factor, and it never made me worse. I just asked my husband and he said I never get mean or any other problems when I have alcohol. I have a beer or two, or one or two 5 oz glasses of wine maybe once a week or less. All of what I say was true whatever meds I was on and still the same now that I gave up on those drugs.

My wonderful husband is bipolar, I see a family history of it. As stated above, only 2 shoves, but the verbal abuse hurts to the bone and out the other side. Once there is a beer involved, blamm-0, he is toxic and a raging monster and I am on the run. My analogy is that I am a gazelle on the Sarhengehti running for my live while the raging lion is chasing me to rip me to pieces. Enough said.

Hi I am also bi polar it's extremely difficult to keep jobs. I have worked everywhere.To find a job is like breathing to myself it comes so easy for me. But I only last at a place of work for on average 3 months and then I get overwhelmed. I feel as if I'm trapped and I often leave. I was an alcoholic for years and have finally decreased my intake substantially. If i drink i drink alone because I find myself getting out of control when intoxicated around others. My moods and thought process like a light switch turns and turns towards this demonic being. My voice lowers and I'm in a state of mind that I cannot get out of.I am fine with a couple beers but if I exceed that amount I instantly am depressed. I used alcohol for years to control my racing thoughts. not to sound conceded but I have no problem getting women but my relationships never last due to my behavior. Is their any solution and by solution I'm referring to medications that do not nock me out and put me in a zombie like state of mind?

I didn't think I would read all the comments here today and I have anyway. Reading is not my forte recently, bipolar affects me that way. most of these comments have been made by those seeking, those hoping or those desperate, maybe i am all of these or perhaps i am learning. if there is one thing i am learning now (after a recent possible diagnosis of depression/bipolar/mood/personality disorder) it is that we all feel it. Sometimes it is your feelings, sometimes it is the feelings of others, sometimes it is what you are being told by other people or your perceptions of their feelings. I think it may not be that complicated. If we break this all down into the fundamentals we see mania - a belief that we/i are capable of anything that the individual/i may think, also we see self doubt - nothing will be possible because that individual/i am incapable of anything and we may also find ourselves feeling that we are 'good' in a way that we are beyond human comparison (some may say 'godlike' or talking to god) or 'healing'. I am an empathic person, this is nothing supernatural or ethereal or silly about empathy, it simply means that I see the discomfort in life; I see the look on someones face when they trip in public and it obviously has embarrassed them, the guy who runs for the bus and misses it, then he feels silly. These may seem like trivial things, and they ARE, people who notice and feel for these people are empathic. I suffer from bi polar and mood and personality disorders, I am not a freak or an idiot or an attention seeker, I see life a little differently. I am not going to give advice because I have none, I sometimes battle, sometimes I cruise and occasionally i quietly enjoy living. There is always a lock for every key and there will always be a treasure behind every locked door. It is important to seek help, remember professionals are called that for a reason and also remember not every professional may be exactly on your wavelength. I hate to quote a silly quote, and at the same time they do say, "life is for the living", and we're all living! It's as much yours as it is anyone else's, find yourself, find your loved ones and failing all of those above, I'm here for you.

I have bipolar I. I have always thought that this illness (as my doctor calls it) is as unique as each person who has it. Alcohol is very bad for me. I only drink once per year on Dec. 31st and stay the night at my sister's house. My husband drives me home the next day after we all enjoy a big breakfast. If I drink, I can't think very well the next day. I also don't sleep well that night. I have not been much of a drinker in my life even before my diagnosis at 24 years old. I am 38 now. But maybe some are more ok with alcohol than others. I would not know. I am not them. In my opinion, if you have bipolar you should not drink at all if you can resist it. Or drink once a year in a very safe environment with people who know you have bipolar like I do. That way maybe you can feel like you get a treat once a year or something.

i just typed out a very hearfelt comment u did not accept it not impressed and people wonder why i get upset cuz no one listens shame on ur system
im not repeating all the things i said cuz it was from my heart but after this i really dont give a damn ill live with my illness or die by my illness either way im okay with it

i apolagize for the outburst but i tried to say before on the words i used before that didnt go through to the site and it was very important for me to share that the doctors say im bipolar no meds work and i like my beer which doesnt help i know this but cant stop my family keep trying but i only lash out at them 5 minutes of hurtful words is a lifetime o remembering but i cant stop myself i truly hate myself ive been taken to the er at least 4 times in the last year and a half maybe less im not good with time or days i feel like my life is a rollercoaster cuz im happy then down i feel like im all over the place i hope this message goes through cuz the last one didnt it would be nice to get some input from anyone who understands God Bless

hi again ive read some more comments from other people and and i have have a saying for Strawberry YOU GO GIRL i wish i had ur strength my daughter was home for two weeks and half of that was ruined because of my episodes thats what they call it here in my family episodes the good thing is my daughters fiance is going to univercity in ireland [which is where my daughter is now] they left my house january 17 he is the one that put this site up pretty sneaky but it shows they care and want to help i know what i need to do but i dont feel i can do it i like to just stay alone not be bothered but i wake up my better half all the the time cuz i talk to myself outloud even in bed when my daughter was her she got so mad because of that the problem is i answere myself i thought it was a joke years ago but now its becoming a promblem to tyler im was in the same state ur in i still drink to oblivion which i shouldnt but i did find a mate that has been dealing with my issues i seriously dont know why he stays with me but its been 3 years now maybe u need someone who understands what ur going through its not easy because of my illness bipolar plus he has had to pack his bags more than once but something u have to think about is knowing who u r and being around people who accept u for who u r i actually feel better that i talked or sorry typed i was crying when i started but i feel so much better now and wish the best hope for everyone on this site

i actually was sendind a message to tyler but this site cut me off and its not there anymore guess what BIG BROTHER is watching u thats what it feels like
when u cut people off in mid sentence take care tyler my message was very hearfelt but obliously the morons who run this site dont give a crap

I have been married to a bi polar for 40 years. I am still confused by his behaviour and lack of empathy. Together we have five children. His input was minimal. When I gave birth it was more about him than me.. Alcohol and him dont mix. Scary, abusive, degrading toward me, but I must say charming to anyone else that is around. I am tired, scared and at my wits end, anybody give me some suggestions. I am exhausted.

I have read all the comments on this site and Strawvery u toughed my heart, I am 29 years old have been in a relationship for 5 years now and it has been up n down but have never been abusive just the usual weirdness sometimes I think she understands me and hopefully she will accept my hand in marriage soon. I stay in Kenya thats Africa by the way and its tough having such a condition here people dont understand it people dont get u, y u dont socialize y sometimes u want b left alone sometimes I feel like am lost.Its grt to hear from people who are going thru the same have struggled with alcohol but since my relationship am starting to find myself.I pray that all will b well and pray for all of you.God bless and thanks for the site you cant imagine how much it has given me hope.God bless

Sorry, I typed every ones names that I read.. but alas it got blanked as obviously not enough room! sorry guys! Your stories are so intune with mine.. I've never found this site before, but will come back, defo! thank you Natasha x Well I have bipolar 2 and drink spirits for about 2 or 3 weeks, so have to detox.. I'm sober for about 2 months so meds kick in. Just want to stop.. any suggestions anyone?..I'm not a proper drunk,just trying to cope, love to you all, Lindsay xx

Hi it's Lindsay again, not sure where you other guys live, but I live on the Isle of Wight in England...
my meds are quetiapine 200mg Prozac 60mg ( gets alterated when buzzing ) but actually stablizies at times,my actual mood which is weird...lamotarine (which is actually an epiletric drug but usded for mood swings also has always helped as no side affects!!! which is cool. diazapan .. which make me sick so just take at night with zopiclone acationally, No problem with that! just alcohol ... the devil juice!! sorry if that sounds really harch, as I am drinking now, hope you don't think me to be a hypacrit but had bad day!!! sorry my spelling is offal.. he he!.. love you all fellow sufferers always, Lindsay xx

I sit here at 11:30pm at night just cleaning up puke on our coach on the rug and completely covered my wife who could not stand because she was shit faced again. Yes, she is bipolar, yes she has mental illness and other symtoms besides bipolar. Medications 6 of them, combining that with (as of tonight drinking a quarter to half of bottle of rum in coke. As a husband with grown children I am scared, tired and angry. I try to hold this marriage together by being supportive but it weighs heavily and sometimes the burden I carry is to much. In reading all of your comments, those that struggle with bipolar and mental disease along with using alcohol to hide/mask the pain I truly am sorry for you and understand. I see it daily in my wife for the past five years (since her diagnoses). I wish I new of a support group for husbands or a place to reach out to confidentially but I do not. If anyone knows of one in the eastern Nebraska region I would be grateful.

I was diagnosed as a manic-depressive as a teenager but I've never been medicated I do however use alcohol. This has been very eye-opening. It's sad to say but I'm glad I'm not alone

Well, I am Bipolar I, and have been on meds for just over 4 years now. Right now I am on respiridone or respiradal, whichever, which is to keep me from going manic again...which i haven't since 2010. And i also take some clonopin to alleviate anxiety and to help me sleep. Anyhow, about 3 weeks ago I stopped drinking and well, I should say, I almost made it to 3 weeks...more like 2 1/2...because I fell off the wagon on Thursday for thursday night football watching with my dad, and then another buddy wanted to drink on saturday night, so i had about 5 more on that night, and then yesterday I was depressed and had about 9 beers, and then I was really depressed and crying in my truck listening to music...just by myself. Alcohol just doesn't work for me anymore. It might be fine with friends to have a few laughs, but definitely not by myself, or when i'm upset. I think i'm just gonna start the clock over and today is day 1 and see how long i can go this time without beer. (I don't drink hard liquor). I need to lose my beer belly anyway and its just what's best for me if I want to be a good father and a good (supportive) ex-husband. My wifey had enough of the bipolar in 2010 and we finally divorced last year. But I still love her lots and want to be there when she needs me. Anyhow..lots of words just to say, I'm Bipolar I and alcohol messes up a good thing mentally and physically for me. So i'm doing my best to let it go permanently.

My wife has been diagnosed bi-polar for about 4 years now. It has been a roller coaster. The biggest problem is her friends are big drinkers and end of talking her into drinking which causes issues with the medicines she takes and her already messed up brain chemistry. The issue now is she is insisting on going to Vegas with these "friends" and cannot understand why I am against it. She said she told them not to pressure her to drink, but every other time she always has at least a couple. To me, going to Vegas is already bad enough, add going to clubs and her friends intention of going to get falling down drunk is a recipe for a disaster. My wife thinks that my concerns are not real and she is insulted that I feel she would make bad decisions. She just is evening out from a bout of mania. I cannot seem to get through to her. She wants me to be OK with her going, but I am not going to fake like I am OK with it. Now she is saying I need to decide if I can live with a bipolar person. Not sure if that means I have to accept anything she does because she is bipolar or to end the marriage. I have no clue what to do.

Hi I am a bipolar I have been treated since 2010 and it wasn't until 2012 that I found the right medication. I suffer from manic rage. I am very aggressive and irritable . I met my fiance in 2011 and we got pregnant during my pregnancy I couldn't be medicated and I had awful outbursts and said horrible things that no one want to hear I verbally abused him. He stayed with me through all of this. I also used to have a substance abuse and was hospitalized 3 times for medicating my bipolar with drugs. Drugs where the only things that kept me feeling in one state I'm a rapid cycler. I have insomnia so I would drink my self to sleep. Now we have a 2 year old and we just bought a house together and I'm happy my medication has stabilized my moods I was on the verge of committing suicide numerous times because I couldn't take the mania and depression. I have a happy life. But why I'm writting is I started drinking about 6 months ago very frequently and now when I drink I black out and I go in a complete rage. I verbally abuse my fiance . I kicked him the other night and I don't remember doing it. When I get drunk I go on a rage and say horrible things that I don't mean but I say and I have no control of myself. It's scary. The only thing is I crave alcohol. I want to stop I know I shouldn't drink but it's the only thing that gives me feeling. My medication makes me feel like a zombie with no emotions I can't express love at all. And when I'm drinking I feel feelings. It's so pathetic. I hate what my illness has done to the people I care about . I always run away from good things in my life because I think I like being depressed it's my safe place. But I want to be happy and my fiance deserves a happy life .I hope with me. I need some advise.

I've been dating a wonderful guy for 2 yrs now. We met thru my cousin in Jan '13. My grandmother (94) loves him so much, she always says if she was 40 yrs younger, I wouldn't stand a chance (I smile). He was born with a wrench in his hand & is a genius mechanic, as his father was & started a mechanic business in '58. Both his parents have died 5+ yrs ago now, & being the only child, he has had tremendous amount of pressure since their passing. Winter months are brutal, business is slow & $ hard to come by. We recently bought a house together in August 2014 & are completely happy with each other. Most of the time. However, I repeat: However, whenever he drinks when he is stressed about $, he becomes verbally abusive at the world, violently screams about this non-paying customer, about this one, & that one, $ he lent & never got paid back, etc, etc, at the top of his lungs about the mistake of buying our house... Then when I leave for work, he gets into the beer & sends me hurtful texts (how can anyone keep a dry eye while at work??), saying I should prepare myself & move out by Jan 30th, he doesn't need me, that I don't love him, and so many insecurities; its toxic. He texts, how much he wants to die, while he's drives around the back roads in the country drinking beer. I'm very worried about his safety, his mental health & these periodic mood swings. I feel helpless. At times I want to call his doctor & let him know how he's behaving, thinking maybe he may have a disorder of some kind. I found this site & thought I would reach out & share my experience & perhaps get some kind of nurturing advice from others like me. Thank you - Peace

I've never heard this saying before
"There is always a lock for every key and there will always be a treasure behind every locked door"
Thank you 'Strawverry, Oct 26, 2013"
It helps to think of this when I'm getting discouraged looking for the right key (the right medication combination) to unlock some relief for this bipolar disorder
I'm not a drinker (I used to have a couple of glasses of wine 2 or 3 times a year). I know how destructive drinking can be... 3 generations of my family worked for a brewery. My uncle was a mean irresponsible drunk and my dad tried to commit suicide once while drunk... neither of them had bipolar disorder
Since I've been medicated for my disorder I find that with just 1 or 2 drinks (depending on the alcohol content) I can become hypomanic very quickly and I often get a pounding headache the next day so I don't bother. It's just not worth it for me.

I have a boyfriend and a two year old daughter, He was diagnosed with seasonal manic bipolar and alcoholism. I have know him all my life. He had been sober for 5 years until last night when he decided to drink some Liquor store bought moonshine and got so drunk that he couldn't stand up, This month is March. I call it March Madness. He becomes dormant in the winter and everything is perfect like no one would believe. Once the weather breaks he cant sit still literally... has trouble sleeping and sitting on the couch for 2 mins. so I know what's coming about normally he says awful treacherous things. Never did I think he would pick up a drink and get slammed drunk. never. but last night was a different story. I helped him stop drinking a long time ago, and for him to open that door again I don't know how to deal with it. any advice would be great. I cant leave him my daughter loves her father so much and I don't feel that's the right way about going about this plus I cant and have no way of doing this on my own. I don't know what to do. I do love him but im at my wits end with him and this disease. I thought he had it under control. he doesn't have medical insurance and right now since its march madness he isn't himself any other time he would admit he has an issue but this time of year he throws it all on me with his treacherous words. ( which nothing happens in front of our daughter only at night because this time of year I can barley keep him home and not only that but when he is around her he is a good daddy) I'm lost and confused. I have no idea where to go from here or what to do, I sent him to his moms last night. I wish I knew where to go from here. some people I talked to told me to let him drink socially.... but I've worked so hard to get him away from that. what do I do?

I am sitting here reading all your comments after burying my love of 34 years. He could be the most loving person, but being bipolar and on medication and mixing with alcohol became someone extremely hateful and verbally abusive. Eventually leading to physical abuse. Please don't kid yourself that alcohol is ever a good thing. My husband was in such emotional pain and just could not stop no matter how much our family loved him and desperately wanted to help him. He chose to take his life. I will miss him every day. The good man he could be not the abusive man. I am thankful to God that he did not hurt anyone else, which I have learned was a possible outcome. Please seek help if you are bipolar find someone who can help you and don't turn to alcohol.

Thank you ever so much Carol. you may have saved my life

Hello all,
Not everyone is the same. Not everyone responds to meds or other treatments. Not everyone is cruel when drinking. I have been dealing with bi-polar for over 20 years. I have tried meds, they did not work. I have tried counseling, and all they seem to want to do is talk about feelings and what may or may not have happened. Not very helpful.
The only thing I have found that does seem to work a bit is drinking. I am not saying it is the right fit for all, but before you judge, try living a day in our shoes. Thoughts bounce around in your head until its all you hear. The more you struggle, the stronger it gets. Or so it sometimes seems.
I know its not easy living with someone with this disorder. BUT, sometimes drinking is the only thing that makes it tolerable.

Ya, booze and drugs are a bad cocktail for folks with BP1. Was married to it for 20 sad and angry years. Saved her life 5 times. Bailed her out of financial mess after mess. Endured her neglect of our children. Her violence and rages. Made me cuckoo.
Well she is a full blown drunk and drug abuser. Post separation she has just gone off the deep end. Disappearing for days. When home, laying in bed surrounded by filthy. Verbally using our children. Crying one second than proclaiming she's happy the next. Talking normally one second than viciously attacking the next. Observed drunk, often. But here's what's odd. When her 'new' friends come over she is the model of motherhood and cool. My kids see right thru it. How in heavens can she fool these people? I mean she's the greatest. How can she control her self around them but not her kids? I mean how is bi polar disorder so selective? Thought these folks didn't have much control at all. Of course the X is always plastered and floating on narcotics with these people. Any thoughts? This woman seems like she is headed for complete disaster. Oh, she denies she is bi polar, won't take her meds, denies she's a drunk and denies she's a pill head. Well, heck, she denies everything she's done and blames me for that matter. Always a victim. Always. That's how she roped my dumb ass in 20 years ago. I felt sorry for her. Putz!

Reading this makes me very sad, I'm 23 years old male from Cape Town, South Africa and only recently diagnosed bipolar 1. I see the sutff this condition causes in peoples lives by reading these comments and too be honest doesn't give me hope for the future. I've had everything and right now it just seems like impossibly hard work to live a normal life. Compared to hard people here try and don't get it right.
Just my opinion.

Hi Linda,
I suffered all my life with manic depression. Just recently at the age of 38. I was diagnosed with bipolar.
I have always used alcohol from an early age to medicate. It always made me feel better. It would also trigger episodes of Euphoria. This I really enjoyed.
I am on medication now . I feel "normal" now. However, I feel like I have wasted most of my life.

Hey Bot28. I've been on lithium for 30 years and I take beer instead of seroquel at night. Not perfect but beer works for some of us. Cheers tim

Hi,
My name is amanda. I was sick ever since i was a little girl. I would say i went through alot but i know others have been through worse. My bipolar disorder, anxiety disorder, panic attacks and my phobia had me getting physically sick through out years. I ended up doubled over for two years, 70lbs mnt nutrition no muscle mass and developed 3 stomach disorders from it. My anxiety over worked my stomach to the point where i couldnt digest food. Experimenting with drugs and alcohol when i was younger brought it out worse and didnt help thats why i got so sick. Plus trauma. Alcohol is bad even though i love it and still once in a blew drink. Im guilty but young so i think its ok but the alcohol just makes my head worse and then my stomach on top of it. Best thing i ever did was mj and went on my bipolar meds. It helps me alot i can digest now. I gained 45lbs now im 125lbs and healthy. Its just the alcohol that will kill me but i learned to moderate my drinking. Now i dont even feel like drinking half the time because of my meds and my mj. Thats all i need keeps my head clear. So mayb once in a blew ill have a beer for a special occasion. I pray for u all. I thought i was dying lit thats how sick i was. Never give up. Have faith. u can do this.. god bless

I was happy to read the comments. I feel not so alone in this bipolar/alcohol problem. I'm 30 and have been treated for bipolar II major depressive and anxiety problems. I'm just taking prosac and Xanax now. My doctor has been trying to get me to take bipolar meds for years, but I'm terrified I will have an episode or become a zombie and essentially lose my personality. I write a lot. I have bouts of panic depression and extreme anger. I drink almost every day to suppress these feeling and the endless stream of thoughts that can continue through the night even in my dreams. I feel hungover all the time and my brain is but scrambled. Last night I got too drunk and screamed at my husband so hard my head/eyes/throat/ears hurt. I said things I didn't mean and then proceeds to draw words on my legs like a psychopath until I fell asleep. He's so understanding and strong. I crave booze every night , a lot of it. I have to decide to cut way down, but it's really hard. I stay home mostly now cuz if I go out intend to get in trouble. Anyways I have hope for us all. Its difficult. Much love.

Alcohol IS a big liar lol I like that.

As I sit in a rented condo because I have to leave my home reading these comments have been helpful. I love my huband so much. He was an active alcoholic when we married. His bipolar issues were odvious to me but he had never been diagnoised. He was finally diagnosised 4 years ago. He has episodes. I am never sure what comes first drinking or bipolar issues but it goes hand in hand. This episode has been the worst. It is especially bad becasue he is so unstable I had to tell his kids just how bad and make sure he is not around our grandkids. I feel so helpless. I am angry, hurt, frustrated. I can see the episodes coming but he can't.

My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar 20 years ago. She has drunk alcohol from early teens. She is always changing medication but will never address her drinking and gets very defensive if anyone mentions it. She is disappointed about her life but insists alcohol has nothing to do with her poor health and always blames bipolar. This is so frustrating as I see her unpredictable moods as symptomatic of ever-changing medication and alcohol combinations and it seems like a never-ending cycle for her. I am helpless to help her.