Leaving An Abusive Relationship: Why Can’t I Just Leave?

I am also in an abusive relationship and bad marriage. I am 50. We have been together since I was 14. The abuse started way back then and I always thought it was me who made him that way. He blamed me for his actions and I believed it was my fault. We have now been married for 29 years and we have an 11 year old daughter. I do take responsibility for not leaving when I was 14 and making one bad decision after another. I have come to realize he is a narcissist and there is nothing I can ever do or say that will make him see what he has done or how he has hurt me. I am now trying to figure out how to leave. We too have huge debt and little money so I am not sure how this is all going to happen but I have to leave for me and my daughter. I don't want her thinking this is a healthy or happy marriage. I want more for her. I have my mother to talk to and that is about it. I have no other resources, financial or otherwise so I am searching for a plan and advice. Any you can offer is appreciated. I wish I had a crystal ball back then. What a mess this has all become. Two lives so intertwined it will be like a death.

hi, I really need help on this one as i am isolated, disabled & confused. I have a severe medical condition at has turned into a disabilty. I have a poor immune system and severe fatigue. I'm not in a wheelchair, and I'm in my late twenties, but I often struggle to get out of bed.
I'm attractive and intelligent & I haven't forgotten my assests, but I also have severe depression, which makes me needy as well as my partner being the sole person to care for me.
I had bad relationships with my family who don't take my calls, and are emotionally abusive themselves. I had a few friends but they got sick of the constant drama of my current relationship. I don't have anyone to turn to, so every time i want to leave my relationship, I don't have any options.
I am with a man who started out as a great help in my life, but over time his own mental illness became more apparant. We are both very sensitive and emotional, and always had fights, but now i have no more friends and have become sicker, he really takes advantage of that.
He often has good reasons to be angry (this isn't victim talk, many people find me difficult) but he takes it overboard becuse of my self doubt & isolation, he goes further than he should. He has broken things & yells far too loudly.
I dont want to leave, because despite the ugliness, he isthe only one who bothers to help me when I'm sick, take me to the doctors (I have developed agorophobia) and I'm very unwell and lonely.
I've been trying to get out and make friends, but we scare people away because we obviously need help and I just get so tired that its hard enough just to see doctors.
People have told me to leave, and if I were healthy & had people to care for me I would, but I just don't see any options. I feel so trapped and miserable...but when I was alone i was worse & even more helpless. At least with him I am able to get out sometimes and when he is good I have a friend.
I am spiralling between depression and anger at my life for being in such a pathetic position where I am trapped with such a disrespectful person. He also threatens to leave all the time, and I want to just say "please just go" but then remember who will make my food the next day? who will hold me when I am all alone?
I don't know what to do.

I have been abused for the last few years. I get called names all day whore ,bitch,fat, piece of shit. I am hit and spit on and just treated terribly . I am so depressed, I just cry and pray,go to sleep and hope things will get better. I have two small children ages 16months and four years. I have no place for my children and me to stay besides my home. I have left and called shelters,went to motels, and family for a few days. I honestly don't know what to do. I am scared for my children that my boyfriend will kill me and they will have no mother or father. I am scared at the damage all of the abuse is leaving on my children. My son trys to help me, he hugs me and wipes the tears. I don't know how you guys just leave your lives.I wish I was stronger. I have no place to go. I have no one.

I woke up early this morning with a very heavy heart. I'm married to the man I just knew was my soul mate. We have known each other for 35 years. I'm 45 he's 46. We started trying to date later in our high school years, but things happened (he moved away). Anyway after several years and my first failed marriage we got back together. We talked and I had to have surgery so he agreed to come and take care me (my daughters from previous marriage were away at school). I still remember to this day the first time he laid hands on me. I was SO shocked this was my best friend who I could always talk to. Months went by it didn't happen again. On our 2nd year of dating he blacked my eye so I couldn't even go out for mother's day. I knew I should have left then, but was afraid and ashamed. Eventually his drinking became worse and so did his anger. Only wanting to kiss, touch or make love when he had been drinking. I must admit I was drinking a lot myself. I stopped drinking and he said I didn't like to have fun anymore etc. Well needless to say me not being wise we ended up getting married. We've been together for 4 year's total married 1 year. He lost his job due to drinking and always says he's going to stop, but never does. He gets really upset, because he got arrested for DUI and hated I didn't bail him out, but instead got my car out of impound. Even though that was 2 years ago he still holds it over my head. He always acuses his friends of liking me or me flirting with them when he's drunk. He throws things in the house and yells and calls me bitch and pokes at me about my past marriage and past relationships. He apologizes all the time and said he's angry with himself and doesn't know why he takes it out on me. He's never been married and says he won't divorce me always begs me to stay and how much he loves and needs me. Please help!!

Hi, I have been with my husband for 28 years, 3 grown up girls. I am not physically abused although he did rip a shirt off my back once but that was 23 years ago. But I think he emotionally abuses me. He sulks if I see my sister who he thinks twists my thinking. Same for any friends I had. He withdraws affection, gives me the silent treatment and brings up past things I have done that caused him to be hurt. All sounds quite lame when I write it down. He hasn't spoken to our youngest since September last year as he says she treats him bad. She is 18. He regularly insinuates that I am cheating or untrustworthy. That he never knows where I am. I go to work or am at home. I have no friends and no social life outside him. I feel like I am walking on eggshells all the time, worrying what will set him off in a sulk. He complains about a lack of sex, says I have turned him down too many times so he won't instigate anymore. There is so much more but I don't know if it's abuse or just my imagination?

I just hope I can get out. It doesn't feel like I will ever make it. What's wrong with me? I feel nothing and am totally detached. I just kind of float around all the time and can't work up enough energy to make any real changes. At the same time I think about leaving all day long. Not sure what to do to get out of the fog.

My husband and I have been married for over 10 years and he was verbal abusive then it went to him pushing me and breaking stuff around the house including punching holes in the walls. I would get them fixed and he punch more holes.
Well a week and a half ago I had to leave him he destroyed all of my antique lamps in this one room along with my jewelry being left on the floor. I do know how I will get back in the home and right now he is not working full time. I know I do not want to live that way anymore. I have been living in my car and at my office and they have a place I can take a shower. I could only take a few items with me so I am thinking God is teaching me how to do with a lot less in my life right now. Is there any hope for me.

I've been married for my husband for 15 years. I think I must of been blind to the abuse. I do know after we married he would pinch my nipples.. I would tell him to stop, he would get mad at me. I use have my hair short, when I would get it cut he would say I look like a lesbein. Move to present time. He will start fights and say I'm not trying to fix our marriage and everything I say revolves around me. But he ignores me calls me and our daughters names. I know everything he does is abuse. But where do I start? How do I get the money. I'm so hurt and confused.

I have been in a relationship for 15 years, which started out fun, and has become my prison.
I don't even want to put out my real email or name, for I fear that I will be hurt.
Ladies/gentlemen, if you feel that you are getting trapped, you are. The walls are slowly being built around you, until one day, you realize that leaving may mean physical harm.
Get out. I don't know how anymore without being hurt.

I am older (senior citizen) met a man that had been married for 33 plus years, and thought that with him having one marriage and keeping it intact for that long of period time that he may be a good potential boyfriend (future husband). Was I ever wrong? Yes. I now have found myself in a mentally abusive situation, and having been seeing him for 1 1/2 years with most of that living together, I find that even though I have been mentally abused, I still long to make up with him, even though I know that when we lived together each day was filled with a high level of mental abuse to me. I began to not even know myself anymore, not putting up any fight, but just waiting and hoping that it would pass, just to see it would be back in no time the same day..... I wonder about myself anymore, that I would rather settle for such an unhappy existence, than to get out when the getting is good. We just split up this week, and I am trying my best not to end up texting or calling him. This is why I am on this site, to educate myself to be strong to not do that. I am sad that I have reduced myself to wanting so little in life just to not move on.

I haven't left. I keep telling myself I need to just go and be alone. But we have a small child. And I'd have no where to go. I keep telling him he can keep our son until I get mylife figured out but he just gets depressed and crus and makes me feel terrible. I suffer from depression and it just makes the whole situation.someone help me. What am I supposed to do. How am I supposed to just leave.

I am currently in a abusive relationship. I lost most of my friends, my kids as my ex husband is afraid of kids getting hurt. Ended up in hospital 2 months ago because of concussion and broken lip after a fight. I nee to get out. I am supporting him financially and I am worried what will happen to him when I leave? I dont know what to do. I feel so alone.

I am 28 and have live in my boyfriends house with our 2 year old son. I don't make enough money to support my son and myself so I feel stuck. The verbal abuse had now escalated to physical abuse. I've been hit, punched, kicked, been thrown into things and had things thrown at me. I don't know how to get out!

I'm in an abusive relationship. More emotional than physical. A lot of insecurity& doubt between the both of us. I want to leave but half of me wants to stay. What to do? Help!

I asked my husband to leave last July, yet he is still in my life and do not know how to end it . after 15 years and three daughter's together i can honestly say i have been brainwashed. I feel guilty and depressed all the time! He comes to see our girls but asks them to go play or tidy there rooms so he can be alone with me. He trys to kiss me and touch me when i say no he gets angry and says horrible things so i do it to keep the peace. He has moved 5 mine away from my home and always drives past to see if i am in. He rings my work to make sure i am there, he always does it in "my best interest" most people think he is lovely. I just cant cope and do not know what to do! I taken a month on the sick but he came round more, i f i ask him to stay away he twist everything so everyone hates me, he even started to talk to other parents at the school saying how much he loves me i am his world, but i want my freedom and go out partying! Which is all lies but he is so good i struggle with whats real and whats not . what can i do????

I am ready to go. But we're on the lease together and the landlord won't let me transfer over to my own place until its up. So I have to wait it out BC if I go else where he will leave and the lease will be broken anyway or he won't pay his part of the rent and we'll get evicted and I don't want to make a bad decision that will follow me around.
So 3 more months. It's soooo hard BC he's doing the silent treatment right now and it's draining me.
The good news is that I'm finally ready to go. I still have fear which is what kept me here but my faith is stronger now and I believe the Lord has a better path for me from the desires and thoughts He's been blessing me with. I trust Him completely and now know that I've been struggling in this emotionally, verbally, financially abusive relationship to numb the pain of any struggles I must deal with in my new journey.
I am so psyched that I have to keep reminding myself that I haven't left him yet! It feels like I've already packed up and left, but I have not and will not tell him until I'm out the door. I've known him well enough in this 5 year relationship to know that he will sabotage, fake kindness, and use my decision to leave against me in the future. He abuses the upper hand.

I need some help

Iam and have been in a domestic violence the first it happen he thur a cup of hot coffee the second time he spit in my face the third he thur me down the basement stairs the fourth time he tried to break my arm and he chocked me I has him arrested for dv I went down and got a restraing order him he then and went and got one on me he lied to the judge I have gotten a lawyer he the filed for a divorce he wont help me with the bills I only have a part time job gonna have to cash in my 401k tell we sell the house iam having a hard time understanding why a man would do that to the women he loved for 35 years is it me he hates or himself please give me a answer so I may move on in my life

I am trying to muster up the courage to leave my husband. Some days I don't find him abusive, but most days I do, and I have had many many people tell me that he is. I figured I am just used to it and don't see it.
I am scared out of my pants to leave for fear that he will hurt himself, but I am miserable. it is not a good environment for our daughter either who is 9 months old and starting to realize what is going on now. I cry for her inside every day.
I hope I can get out of this without a scratch. He has threatened to hurt himself and ruin me financially, with friends and family as well.
Please send me prayers

My husband has became extremely abusive since May of last year. We had been married 3 years at that time with very few problems except minor arguments and normal marital problems. One night he got drunk and anally raped and choked me after he slammed my head in the wall. There have been 10 or more occasions like this, one was recently and I'm almost 3 months pregnant. I thought I had an exit plan by finding a home far away but he ended up being here anyway due to the fact that I had no help to move. He won't leave and he won't stop drinking. I'm terrified, but I don't know how to get rid of him. I refuse to leave my new home bc I'm on the lease and he's not. What can I do to legally get rid of him?

I don't know what to do or how to explain it. I am in a abusive relationship physically and verbally. We been together for 6 years we have 3 kids together under the age of 2. Im afraid to go because I love him and hate to see him with someone else that he may treat her better. Also he refuses to leave my apartment he won't allow us to break up. He tells me he will never marry me, that I'm too fat to have sex with because I gained weight after our kids. he sleeps on the sofa he won't even touch me he cheats on me he hits me calls me dumb, fat and ugly But yet I'm afraid to leave him and he won't leave either. I'm some times afraid he'll snap and kill me. I don't know what to do because one side of me loves him and want us to work and one side wants him gone I don't understand it. The police don't help the dismiss every case. And even tho he isn't on my lease they say I have to file a eviction notice on him because he been staying with me for over 6 montbs. Every time I put him out he say he's going to change or kill himself with his family so I always give him another chance.

Im in so much need to leave but don't find the way how, he mentality abuses me. I can't take it anymore, he always throw things in my face do that I don't work but stay at home mother/wife. Always have something negative to say to me & about me, threats me to hit me & says I'm lucky to be a woman. I honestly don't see a way out, I'm also scared he might try to take our child do that he had previosly threatened to do so. What can I do with this situation?? I don't want to hurt him nor want him to go to jail I just want to leave with my son & live my life.. I don't mind him spending time with our son when I do leave this relationship.. Help please!!!

My boyfriend verbally and mentally abuses me I'm the one providing and have been for a long time since we have been together we Now have a son he's 9mos old and we live on our own since then he has been so mean to me and talks down to me expects me to do everything for him except one thing he takes me to work because I don't drive but he complains about that also idk what to do I love him but I'm so depressed anymore

My partner blames me, yells at me and now recently threatens to hit me if I don't start listening to him which I do. I have to keep the doors locked n stay inside the house all the time because he thinks men will come knocking on the door n try rape me if I answer the door. He said I can leave if I'm trying to make him mad and not listening. His exact words were " if you're trying to make me hit you by making me mad before you leave, just leave I'm not going down that road to go and hit you." He's so manipulative then suddenly gets nice when he wants to leave n says I'm sorry for flipping out I just needed to have a cigarette it's these cravings that make me snap. Then a couple hours later he will bring up every mistake I've made during our 3 years together. He non stop complains once he gets started and it's unpredictable when he's gonna start an argument. Last week he complained for 5 hours straight and we both had headaches. He just doesn't know when to quit and I'm having a hard time leaving because when I ask family n friends for a ride they say I have no gas, no money or no driver. I can't just up n leave with my baby who is 19 months because we live an hour away from my hometown. And it's embarrassing to cause a scene in this small town if I were to call the cops for help but yeah safety first n who gives what they think.

I 19 & ive been in my abusive relationship for a year now ive wrote this or said this out of my thoughts before so it hurts & feels good to vent at the same time..ive been physically,mentally,& emotionally abused the whole time..i think ive developed a severe anxiety disorder because when he begins to get angry with me i lock up & the abuse gets worse because im incapable at the moment..i realized i needed to leave months a go after he drug me around outside his house in the dirt & rocks & ripped all my clothes then recorded me & threatened to put it on social media..then told me to leave & refused to return my clothes then would beat me again if i did what he ordered..i am on probation & he pays fees i stay cause i love him & need him financially..but i can never do anything right i am repeatedly reminded of how i cant do anything i am hurting so much i really want to leave but i dont want to go to prison this is goin to kill me

I am(was) in an abusive relationship. The reason I say am AND was is because I don't know what we are anymore. The disrespect has gotten to a level of him treating me like I am nothing! I kicked him out 2 months ago BUT I continue to let him manipulate me! EVERY time he needs something from me, I'm available to him. That's the only time he contacts me. We have a child together and he doesn't even contact me about her. I feel so drained and used. I was never this person before him. I WAS a strong woman that would never tolerate such behavior. The few people that I have in my life(I don't have any family) that knew me before him can't believe that I put up with this. Sometimes I don't even know how I got sucked into this life. He regularly tells me how I make his life miserable.. He can't go on like this.. He's done with me.. Etc etc. Yet as soon as I'm useful to him, that temporarily changes. I am bitter, resentful, hurt, angry towards him so I can't treat him with respect either. So it's ALWAYS an argument when I try to express my feelings! His famous lines are "here we go again" "all you wanna do is fight" EVERY time I try to express my feelings. No matter how respectful I approach him. It ALWAYS gets turned around how its ALL my fault! I own up to my mistakes. I apologize. Sometimes when I know I'm not wrong. He NEVER owns up to anything he does. He'll hit me and say I provoked it, because I have my nerve to ask him a simple question about something that bothers me. I thought relationships were supposed to be open communication. I listen to him and his concerns. I feel so lost! I think about my situation and the advice I'd give a friend if they were in my shoes. I know all the right things to say and do but I find it so hard for me to do it!! I feel so beat down. I know my couple friends I confide in are probably tired of the back and forth. Makes me feel so lonely and stupid. I work. Pay my own bills(although I do struggle as a single mother) but I make it happen FOR MY KIDS!! I have daughters and don't want them to learn from my behavior of staying that this is okay. I don't want to go through this anymore. Our relationship recently is just based on sex. Then I'm left feeling like I'm just a prostitute after(without the money part) I'm disrespecting myself. I was never like this. I have men pursue me often. I'm a nice person to everyone else but him. Even when I am nice to him. NOTHING is ever good enough to him. EVER! He is slowly driving me to a nervous breakdown. But I am allowing it. I know. Its just so hard to let it go. I don't know why. I feel like something is seriously wrong with me. Like all the negative stuff he says is true. I've never posted to anything like this, but I was abused last night. Emotionally and physically. I feel so lost today. It's a horrible cycle. I can't function in my regular life. At work. With my kids. All due to the stress this "relationship" causes me. I don't rely on him for finances are anything so I don't know why I can't just stop!! I will ignore him for days....Be okay. Then I guess I feel lonely or feel he is with someone else and that bothers me(I don't know why) So I give in to him. Then the cycle continues on. I'm happy away from him. But the thought of him being happy away from me hurts so much. I've given so much to this man. I feel robbed. I know I can never get any of my time back. But it hurts knowing the person I gave my all to,turned into this. The red flags were always there. I was just blind I guess.

He has been to jail for abusing me before , he put me in jail with false accusations which was dismissed , I have been to counseling for DV , we have a 3 yr old together and I have a 15 yr old son , today he choked me throw me into the way , threaten my son , said I was going back to jail , I don't know what to do, I'm scared , unsure , don't want to talk because I don't want him to find this. Now what I have no where to go

I am married to a firefighter. He's a hero. How can I leave him? He's been on the news. He's been promoted. He's perfect. Everyone worships him. It's me, I"m the one whose a "cheating whore" a "waste of a woman" a "piece of shi&" a "failure" a "loser" and apparently nothing more than good for a "F&^k". Yep, that's the life I lead with my wonderful hero husband. A man who has used me for sex so many times while he's been drunk I lost count. A man who goes to work and saves lives and then comes home and destroys them. A man who watches porn and denies it. Cheated and denied it. Then, years later, when I finally snapped and had a one night stand, went crazy, almost killed me, smashed everything I owned and tore it to pieces, played the innocent victim. FU world. I've had it with this phony cra*. People are so stupid. They have no clue what people are really going through. Even when you tell them. They make excuses. He's suffering from pressure at his hero job. Everything will be fine. Yep. Tell that to me when he has me in another choke hold. Okay. Yeah, I'll play the role. After all, who do we go to? More delusional idiots who think all firefigthers are heroes? Please. We are prisoners. There is no escape. Only death. And if we are lucky we will survive being wives of abusive fire heroes.

So just yesterday was our 3 year wedding anniversary and I can't say it has gotten any better like I thought it would have I'm stupid for falling for his lies and the lies I tell myself d. I don't feel any love from him and yet the love I have for him is pouring out of me... I fell for him hard and fast and he knew it and used it to his benefit. Soon after we started dating we were what I thought was play fighting over my phone to him grabbing my work pants I was changing into and ripping them. Started out with choking me thinking he was funny and pulling my hair. I remember times we'd be laying in bed acting like he's getting over a fight we just had then he'll choke me struggling to breathe he finally let's go. One fight he wouldn't let me out of his room I said I was going to the restroom but ran toward the front door and he chased me pulling me back in the house by my hair.....things to that degree continued verbal and emotional abuse along with him always breaking up with me and then wanting me back. Fast fowars to 2015 my first bloody nose and lip it's so hard to even write that because not one person knows that swung his fist at me and made my nose aND lip bleed. Few weeks pass and he does it again... stomped kicked...then he literally broke his neck in a work accident and I never left his side worked full time and was his only care giver for a month before we moved back home for help. I did anything and everything for him why do I love him. Now today after work I have been yelled at and called names cussed at and degraded in font of people. I feel as if I love him so much I want to hang on to every moment I have with him because I know I'll never be good enough for him so he will leave me enventually. That's so sad. God give me strength & courage.

I've been in a relationship with a married man for almost 7yrs. I cheated on my live in boyfriend for 8yrs. He was hooked on pain pills and was a commercial diver. He got sick stayed in constant pain. He treated my kids good. Supported us very well. He could not longer work. By that time I was on disability for my back and neck.
When he found out about the affair he left me. I'm still with the married man. His wife knew. We were good friends. She had been sick for a very long time. She had cardiovascular disease. Well last year she was put on hospice. After about 4 months she asked me to sit and take care of her while he worked. She forgave both of us. I was really a horrible person to do that because she was a very loving and caring person.
After sitting with her for 6 months she passed away. Which was almost 3 months ago.
Anyways he promised me the whole time that when she passed we would have our life together. Well I messed up about 5yr ago. I had his name tattooed on my lower back. I ended up having sex with the guy that did my tattoo. Of course he found out. I was called a whore every day for 4yrs. It was thrown in my face EVERY TIME I LEFT THE HOUSE. He started harassing me every day. He would call me . If I went to the bathroom and left my phone in the kitchen, I was screwing someone. He would call like 27 times. I told him I can't even take a bath without being called. We lived 600 feet from each other so of course he watched who came to my house even at night. He would creep around my house all hours of the night.
Well since his wife is gone he now says he never promisedid me a thing. He want to be alone. He doesn't want a relationship. He has emotionally abused me and has put me down. I've cried every day. I'm staying with him but we're not in a relationship. I cook,clean,wash his uniformson for work. Everything. I feel so stupid for doing this. If go back to my house the crap will keep getting worse.
Last month he kept telling me if I didn't like something I could pack my clothes and go back home. I had enough. I reached my breaking point. I took 14 tramadol and 27 elevil. I told him what I did and he told me you better go home and get your son to call an ambulance cause I wasn't gonna die at his house. I told my son what I did. I tried to throw up but I couldn't. The muscles in my throat numbed my gag reflect. They called 911. The last thing I remember was seeing my son's friend that's with fire and rescue. On the way to the hospital, which is lik25 miles from my house is stopped breathing. 6 miles up the road in was air lifted to the hospital. I was seizing and was put on life support. I was in ICU for five days. After 3 days they took the breathing tube out. Well he showed up on the 4th day. I woke up and saw him standing there. The only thing he toldme was when I get home we had to talk. We did and I've been staying with him ever since. I've went home 3 times and came back.one dynamic is perfect and I'm happy, the next he talks to me like a dog and humiliates me. I cry and cry. He says I'm trying to force myself on him and I'm too clingy. Really? For 6 years I was harassed day and night by this man and now he doesn't love me. We sleep in the same bed. Have sex. He doesn't kiss me or shows no emotions towards me.
He says that he doesn't have to answer to no one. Anything he does isn't none of my business. But EVERY THING I DO IS HIS.
I've wanted out so much but haven't gotten out yet.I have no idea why I stay. My kids can't stand him and tell me I'm stupid for being with him. I think soon enough I won't be able to take the abuse and wash my hands to him. I want to be happy. I will be one day. I have to believe Jesus is gonna give me a new beginning.

I've been in the same abusive relationship for almost 4 years now.. Things are just insane now.. Years ago he was my everything. Made me feel on top of the world.. Months go by and the pushing starts and the name calling starts. Then before you know it he's slapping me , busting my lips , blacking my eye shut , memories of blood pouring from my eye and only seeing out of my right eye.. I can remember the pain of the look in the mirror.. Now , I'm back again.. And dealing with the emotional abuse. And idk what's wrong with me
. I wanna escape.. But when I'm away from him.. I feel so lost. I'm so broken. Please help..

Iv been in a relationship with the same man for a little over a year now. About 4 months into our relationship he started getting verbally abusive towards me calling me a whore, skank,and a slut. He started drinking very heavily and he ended up grabbing me by my throat and throwing me into the wall. He says he never remembers a thing because he "blacks out". Since that night physically hit me 4 more times. The 2nd time he chocked me on the couch as I was minding my own business folding clothes, the 3rd time he grabed me by my arm, threw me on the ground and hit me 5 times in my head. The 4th time he chases me all other the house and the yard. He slammed my knee in our truck door, punched me in my face and started choking me till I passed out for a few seconds, when I came to I got him off me and called the police. (He was drunk every time) I pressed charges. When court came he only got charged with negligent assault. He lost his job because of it and his ex wife now refuses to let him see his kids. He blames me every single day that it's my fault he's lost his job and can't see it kids. Yet I still went back to him! He tells me he can't live without me, I'm the only thing keeping him going in life yet still calls me a whore, a skank and a slut. Still accuses me for him losing his job and not seeing his kids. Just the other day he grabbed me by my throat and throws me to the floor to where I got a concussion from it. Why can't I just get away from it. He doesn't let me see my family, he calls me all the time asking me where I'm at or what am I doing.I need help. I don't know what to do anymore. I love him but I don't want to end up dead!

I've been with my husband 15 year's. It went from physical abuse at the start to emotional and verbal attacks for past 8 years. My kids are now getting sworn at and he is aggressive towards them as the are sticking up for me. They are 14 and 9. Two lovely girls. Don't stay. It doesn't get better and when your kids get older they will endure the same bouts of anger as you. I'm leaving in 2 days, I have to for the kids. Its not easy but can you forgive yourself for bringing them into the world and not protecting them from hearing and seeing this behaviour? Do you want the cycle to continue in their lifes. With thier husbands. I do not. We all deserve so much better ladies. And so do our kids. No matter how much it kills me to leave, it also kills me to stay. Hopefully time really does heal. Protect your self and your kids. I'm moving into a 2 bed flat while he keeps our 3 bed semi. Who cares its mine and I'm safe. Be strong and good luck.

I've been on a rollercoaster of verbal/emotional abuse then apologies the next day, for longer than I care to remember now, as I'm very embarrassed.
One thing my boyfriend constantly says is: I have to yell at you because you don't listen to me!!!
He puts me down, puts my co-workers down, mocks me, and anything I hold close/dear to me. I won't go into detail as my boyfriend of 4+ years is seeming to be textbook.

I don't know where to go, have no money and was diagnosed with breast cancer. Living in north america, my friends and family are in Europe. My husband is so angry about everything and every one. Nothing pleases him, and he constantly insults me, hurts me, or tells me just to hit the ground as soon as possible, so much he hates he. Just 2 days ago, I cutted the hedge in front of our house, OH BOY, when he came home from work, he kicked me, called me a f...bitch, stupid... Its his house, his property, and when he went on my throat to hurt my neck, I fought against him, kicked him too, and now he says that he lost his trust since I violated him. I cry every day, he blames me for every hurt, tells me to get lost, what f.... food i cooked is disgusting, that he has to support me, and the most hurting is that me want my death as soon as possible. I need to get out here, but I have no resources, no money and mostly no energy due to the chemo I have to take. And no, i don't want to tell anyone. Please tell me what should I do.