Top 10 Most Engaging Verbal Abuse Posts From 2013
Last year, I did a top ten list of the most viewed Verbal Abuse in Relationships blog posts, so I thought I'd do something different this time. The posts on this list earned the largest percentage of comments per times viewed. If you missed them, perhaps you want to add your two cents. Readers tell me all the time they get as much from the comments as they get from the post, so share your experience so we can ALL benefit!
Many of these posts do not have many comments, but don't let that deter you. This isn't about the largest number of comments. It is about the most comments per times viewed, or the most engagement from readers based on number of views.
Happy New Year and may 2014 be the beginning of something GREAT in your life!
The Most Engaging Verbal Abuse Posts
10. Psalm 27 and Domestic Abuse
"Psalm 27 helps us pray for courage, support and guidance during the trials of domestic violence and abuse. But the end of the psalm may not say what you thought." Add Your Comment
9. What Are You Fighting For? Finding Peace In An Abusive Relationship
"In an abusive relationship, there's a lot of fighting. You come to like yourself less and less, or at least I did. Here's how to find peace in an abusive relationship." Add Your Comment
8. Narcissistic, Sociopathic or Just Plain Abusive?
"Labeling abusers as narcissists or sociopaths is hurtful to the victim of abuse and a waste of the abuse victim's time. Find out why." Add Your Comment
7. Abuse Can Change A Victim's True Nature
"The most harmful effect of abuse occurs when the abuse victim turns into someone dissociated from their true nature. Are you who you once were?" Add Your Comment
6. How Do I Know If My Abuser Can Change?
"First you have to address the problem of abuse, and then you have to stop hearing their words and start paying attention to their actions." Add Your Comment
5. Choose Your Own Fairy Tale Ending to Abuse
"Part 3 in which our princess looks like a madman while our knight basks in the glory of his conquest. Will our princess escape? Does she know she's abused?" Add Your Comment
4. List Of 3 Crappy Things That Happened After Abuse
"Leaving abuse made me feel great about myself and the euphoria lasted about a year. Now, 4 years later, I'm finding the abuse still intrudes a bit on my life." Add Your Comment
3. Open Up About Domestic Abuse...Please
"Pull abuse out of the silence and into conversations with people you love and others you see abused. You can end abuse and save lives if you share your story." Add Your Comment
2. Laughing 'til It Hurts: The Hidden Pain of Domestic Abuse
"Laughing is healthy and fun and it feels really great. Why did laughing 'til it hurt cause me so much pain when I was a domestic abuse victim?" Add Your Comment
1. Revisiting Abuse And Healing From It
"Healing from domestic violence takes time and patience. Sometimes the Abuse Demon sneaks in and derails the process, but it is only temporary! You will heal." Add Your Comment
Healing and Understanding in These Verbal Abuse Posts
I love this list of posts about abuse because the majority of the posts discuss healing from abuse and understanding why abuse happens. Domestic violence has its foundations in verbal abuse, so if you can learn to combat the verbal abuse, then the domestic violence can disappear - sometimes in the ways we hope, and sometimes not.
My very best to you in the new year. If you're still living in abuse and don't know if you want to leave or haven't found a good time to leave yet, you need a plan. Download this one and fill it out.
You can also find Kellie on Verbal Abuse Journals, Google+, Facebook and Twitter.
APA Reference
Jo, K.
(2014, January 2). Top 10 Most Engaging Verbal Abuse Posts From 2013, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, December 22 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/verbalabuseinrelationships/2014/01/top-10-most-engaging-posts-of-2013
Author: Kellie Jo Holly
Straight up I just wanted to know if this abuse. My husband calls me derogatory names he tells me my job does not matter. He actually took my phone one time you sent a message from my phone to him that said that I was out drinking and for me to please stop doing crack cocaine. I have never touched a drug in my life and he knows this. I am so embarrassed to talk to any my friends and family because I don't want them to be disappointed and me with who I chose. I Have always been a very guarded and very independent woman I feel silly He also tells me I'm not being a good mother to his children and I'm too good of a mother to my own. This part I really don't worry about because I know I'm very good to all the children and I know they all love me if they show me respect. I could go on and on and on about the derogatory names and things he says. Is this just the first year of a stressful marriage or are these clear-cut warning signs.
Allison, you are experiencing abuse. He is isolating you, calling you names, disrespecting your personal belongings, attacking your mothering capability, and lying about you (via text) to others. These are not only warning signs of future physical violence, they are the actions of an abuser.
I feel I am at my last breathe. I have constant pain an fear pounding through my chest. I tremble, I cannot eat or go out or sleep properly. I moved abroad from the uk to india an married an since leaving my country, family, friends, job etc I am called useless and disgusting every day, his exes are better, his roof his rules, I live off his money etc. He is self employed an not happy for me to work only for him. I told him I am not a business person here to earn him money an he replied that I should've told him this before marriage. 4 yrs married an I dont have a house, a vehicle or money to leave. Do I go back home to a shelter or homeless housing to be free. I have already writteb my death note in case he gets too angry one day with his clenched fists or I give up completely. The physical has stopped but the verbal continues. Please help. I once was a happy helping caring beautiful woman now I am a bitter hateful weepy depressed mess that has no life.
My husband involves all his friends and family and telling them stories an lies. If we argue it cant just be a slight disagreement, everyday I get divorce or court thrown in my face and he tells his dad to do the papers and marches me to his dads house an lies about me to everyone. He phones screaming askin why have I said this or that an when i get to the bottom if it, its him who told the lies that ive supposed to have told. Its like he is severely mentally disabled. An cannot reason then buys gifts to make up and I do not receive gifts well from such a person. As he has a business with his dad he wouldnt like it if I worked else where but looks down on people for having normal jobs. I do not like strangers in the room when I do everythin from cooking to laundry to his work but hes so lazy, needs a maid, a guy to walk the dog, even someone to fix/change a bulb. I feel so ill I cannot function at all. Im scared to go to a dr as they do not know what confidentially is, i have no strength left, no confidence, no security, no love left in my heart for anyone only my pets which I have been told they will go an I will be deported. I am completely trustworthy in this relationship, I make an effort with all his friends an family, take his mum to the salon/dentist or anything but she invites everyone for lunch but I dont get invited even for xmas/new year/easter lunch. I dont go out at night, I dont drink, I think deep down he is intensely unhappy with himself, he does nothing for no one, sits an eats all day, drinks at night, smokes an hates his belly an body an I think he is projecting it towards me. I have never said anything about his hangups or anything to make him feel bad but now ive lost too much weight he never stops harrassing me about it or I am white an doesnt like me with a tan, my teeth are too big, my cellulite is gross etc. Do I leave my 3 pets(my only love in the world) an go. I used to volunteer for animal rescues, feed 100's of stray dogs everyday now I cannot leave my room. I have become very unsociable and told not to spend his money an only given 50 pound in two wks and that is not for me to enjoy its for things that are needed such as food and water. Im not to waste 2 pound on petrol too when he has a big car and uses 30 pound a day in petrol. I cannot exist like this anymore. Seriously had enough. How do I get out of this with some life left in me?
iam currently in a relonship with a guy 14 years younger then me he calls me names everday he makes me feel bad about myself in so many ways and when he tells me im crazy makes me mad he dont seee himself as the bad one he always blames me for everthing i just dont no how to get out of this relonship i aways been a sucker for abusive men this has been going on all my life beeing with men that mistreat me i cant get out im stuck
Im sitting in the back seat of my own car while my kids father drives my car and his cousin is in the passenger side. He is ridiculing and disrespecting me all because i was mad at him for keeping my car all night and making our kids late to school. Ive put up with the verbal abuse from him for 11 years now. Every time i build up strength to leave i come back for one reason or the other. This time i really need his help to get the kids to and from school so i can work. But all he does is complain about helping me with the kids and calls me a user and a begger because i need money for gas and food. He makes me feel worthless. He says my friends and family no that im a loser. I dont know what to do, i need help with my kids so i can work and also the little money for food in gas comes in handy because i dont make much money. I dont know what to do! Im disappointed in myself.
Be disappointed in HIM. He's the one who causes the mayhem, trouble and horrid feelings. Be proud of YOU for making the break (even though there is a connection still). Make a plan to where you don't need him for ANYTHING. Sign up for food stamps. See if you can drop the kids off at a friend's house who takes the bus to school. Don't let him borrow your car. Ask to borrow cash from friends, then make do until you can pay them back. You don't owe that man anything. Any man who would berate you for having to drive your car to take HIS KIDS to school doesn't deserve one iota of your attention or respect, and he certainly is not capable of destroying your self-worth (unless you allow it).
You're doing it. You're getting along. Figure out how to do it on a little less money with a little more reaching out for help (not necessarily $) from friends and the government and support groups in your area. If nothing else, call the NDVH every day for a daily reminder of how great you are. Visit http://thehotline.org.
And if you want someone who was in your shoes to talk to, request an email mentor at http://verbalabusejournals.com/mentoring-program-for-domestic-violence-survivors/