One of the most difficult symptoms of depression is a lack of motivation. It's not that we don't want to feel better, we just lack the physical motivation to move and the emotional motivation to care if we move. Everything seems so difficult. Everything except staying under a warm blanket, hand on the remote, doing nothing, thinking nothing, feeling nothing. Depression and sleep always seem to go together, but laziness is not the cause of the lack of motivation depression brings.

Having depression has taught me many things. I've learned how very debilitating depression can be, but I've also learned how resilient people with depression are - myself included. I've learned about stigma but I've also learned about acceptance. I've learned about brain chemistry and depression medications, about cognitive behavioral therapy, hypnosis, prayer, positivity and other treatments.

I have had one hell of a week. It has been a week of emotional lows with very few highs. It has been a week where I have had to use all of my coping with depression skills.

Post-vacation depression (or, post-vacation blues, as it is sometimes called) has often plagued me. I was hoping that this time it would be different. I just got back from a vacation in the sun. And now, it is all I can do to keep those depression demons off my back.

I have never been thin. Nor overly large (I hate the word "fat"). I'm 49 years old, I'm in perimenopause and lately, it seems like everything I put in my mouth ends up as another half pound on the scale. It's so depressing!

As a person who suffers from chronic depression, I know when depression is looming. And when depression looms, I've learned to go easy on myself. If I don't, a day or two of symptoms may turn into a major depressive episode.

It's the end of another year. I am happy to say that I had no major depressive episodes in 2013. Rather, I was able to manage my depression through, among other things, practicing positivity and gratitude. But the truth is, no manner of gratitude or positivity will fix depression. When you have depression, gratitude and positivity are two concepts that are simply too far out of reach. You know that there are an abundance of things to be grateful for, and that, if you could only remember them, things would seem far more positive. But, you simply haven't the energy or the frame of mind to list, count or comprehend what they are. That's why we need to cultivate gratitude and positivity during the good times.

A dismal day, especially around the holidays, can be a sure trigger for depression. Here in southern Ontario (Canada), where I live, we are having an ice storm. It's been freezing rain and ice pellets for over 24 hours and boy... is it ever dismal. But, even though winter can be so depressing, I've decided that I'm not going to let this cold, wet, treacherous weather trigger my depression or dampen my holiday spirit.

Low self-esteem can bring on depression. Having said that, depression also lowers self-esteem. It truly is a vicious cycle, one that I am trying very hard to manage.

The catalyst to my first bout of depression was almost thirteen years ago. That's when the official depression diagnosis was, anyway. That's not to say that I wasn't depressed before that. If I was, I didn't know I was. But that date marked the beginning of my journey to getting treatment for my depression.