Wouldn't it be nice if you could trust yourself and feel confident in decision-making? You may question every single thing you do, hesitate or feel like nothing you do is good enough; but there was a time when you did trust yourself. How great would it feel to reclaim that trust?  These simple tips can help you learn to trust yourself again and feel more confident when making decisions than ever before.

How does someone appear confident and feel secure? Is there a look or a secret behind why some people exude confidence? The answer may surprise you. It isn't about what you're wearing or what you look like, it's about how mindful and prepared you are (How Mindfulness Can Increase Self-Confidence). Expressing yourself with others may be anxiety provoking but doesn't have to be with these tricks on how to appear confident and feel secure. 

It’s important to do the things you’re not comfortable with to build self-esteem. That means stepping outside of your comfort zone and challenging yourself. Naturally, you may resist doing this because it might make you anxious, fearful or just plain uncomfortable. Stepping outside of your comfort zone does take effort and it might seem easier to do nothing. However, sticking to what you’re familiar with can keep you stuck and it can damage your self-esteem. In order to create change, you need to challenge your negative feelings and do it anyway. Do the things that you’re not comfortable with and build your self-esteem.

It’s important to stop quitting the things you enjoy just because you're not confident. If you’re like many people, you may be depriving yourself of things you enjoy simply because you’re not good at them or feel inadequate. Perhaps you don’t try something because you’re afraid of exposing your weaknesses or imperfections, you fear making mistakes or you fear failure. Perhaps you compare yourself to others or worry too much about what others think. You might feel vulnerable and that can be very uncomfortable. However, doing things for the sake of enjoyment is important for your self-esteem, mental health and overall wellbeing. Stop quitting the things you enjoy just because you're not confident.

Stop being ashamed of who you are if you want to build self-esteem. Everyone has things they don't like about themselves; however, being ashamed of who you are because of them is destructive. Perhaps life isn’t how you planned and you don’t have the job, money, education, talents, looks, partner, friends or family you had hoped for. You might be ashamed of having an illness, condition or disability, or perhaps you're struggling with mental health issues or mental illness stigma. Alternatively, your personality, talents or interests might be different to others around you, causing you to feel like you don’t fit in. However, shame is toxic to your wellbeing and self-esteem. It’s important to stop being ashamed of who you are to build self-esteem.

Insecure thoughts keep you from being happy and impact one's entire wellbeing. Everyone is insecure in some capacity, including me. The problem is that insecurities can be insidious and take over your life. They can keep you from feeling confident enough to try the things you know will make you happy. You don’t get to live your life when you are letting your negative thoughts and insecurities run the show. You don’t have to let insecure thoughts keep you from being happy any more.

Learning to say no confidently is a challenge many people face, particularly those with low self-esteem. Too many people are afraid to say no and that comes with consequences. For example, it makes it very easy for others to take advantage of you and your own needs don’t get met. You might take on too many things or do things you resent doing. You could become overwhelmed, burned out, anxious, depressed, angry or bitter at the other person. This is not good for your physical or mental health. Learning to say no confidently is important for your own self-care and overall wellbeing.

It's important to keep calm when others put you down and that means staying level headed and reacting in a healthy way. Being put down by others can trigger self-esteem issues and cause emotional distress, if you allow it. The reality is that there will be people who put you down. Most people experience put downs at some point; and these can come from anyone including family members, peers, bullies or even strangers. The good news is that you can learn to keep calm and cope better when others put you down.

It's important to stop negatively judging yourself to increase self-esteem. Many people are afraid of being judged negatively by others, however, they overlook the negative judgement coming from themselves. Negative self-judgement is damaging emotionally and it leads to all sorts of problems. As well as damaging your self-esteem it can be associated with anxiety or depression. It may prevent you from doing things you want, and it can isolate you from people. However, you can lead a more fulfilling life and increase your self-esteem when you stop judging yourself negatively.

It’s easy to believe you don’t fit in, when you have low self-esteem. Perhaps you feel different to everyone else and think you have to be exactly like others to fit in. You might overemphasise your weaknesses, compare yourself to others or expect too much from yourself. Perhaps you were rejected, criticised or bullied in the past or you may feel pressured to be like others. Alternatively, there may be something different that makes you stand out, or you're new and have trouble settling in. The chances are that your thoughts about yourself are negative. No matter what, it’s important to realise that you do belong, just like everyone else. You can improve your self-esteem when you stop believing you don’t fit in.