Stop Comparing Yourself to Others to Improve Self-Esteem

May 5, 2015 Fay Agathangelou

Comparing yourself to others harms your self-esteem. Learn how to stop comparing yourself to others and feel better about yourself here.

Why should you stop comparing yourself to others? The main reason is that comparing yourself to others is destructive to your self-esteem. When you compare yourself to others, you might think they have it all together and believe you should be the same. You might treat life as a competition and base your worth in comparison to what other people are good at, their looks, personalities, what they have or what they’ve achieved. You may be too hard on yourself for not being like others and fail to see your own unique qualities. Comparing yourself to others is destructive to your self-esteem--and you can learn to stop it.

Basing your worth on other people is disempowering. What others do is outside of your control and you can’t change that. However, you can change the way you view yourself. Learn to stop comparing yourself to others and build your self-esteem.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

  • Realise that your worth comes from inside. It's who you are as a person regardless of externals. It does not depend on what others are doing.
  • Know that looks can be deceiving. Everyone has their own issues and insecurities even though they're often well hidden. Nobody has the perfect life. You may think someone is doing well but you don’t have the full picture.
  • Stop worrying about what others are doing. You can’t control what others are doing. It’s disempowering and a waste of energy to worry about it. Instead, focus on making your own life the best it can be.
  • Forget about being right or wrong. Everyone has their own unique circumstances and strengths. What’s right for one person may not be for another. Do what’s right for you at the right time for you.
  • Remember that there will always be someone better than you at something. That’s life, no matter who you are. However, there are are things you’re better at, too. Realise that nobody's good at everything. Give yourself permission to try things out and to make mistakes.
  • Have realistic expectations of yourself. Let go of perfectionism and be reasonable with your expectations.
  • Know your own strengths and interests. Figure out what you’re good at and what you like to do. If you’re unsure, take the time to figure it out.
  • Nurture your strengths. Do the things you’re good at and enjoy.
  • Focus on the positives about yourself. There are many positives about yourself and it’s a matter of seeing them. Focus on your good points. It might help to write them down or to practice gratitude.
  • Embrace your individuality. Your uniqueness is what makes you special and it’s well worth embracing. You have so much value just by being yourself. Think of all the people who made a difference to this world just by being themselves.
  • Know that life’s not a competition. When you stop competing with others, it’s liberating, and it gives you the freedom to be the best person you can be. Instead of competing with others, aim for personal growth.
  • Find a purpose or meaning in what you do. What you’re doing matters and it's important to realise that.
  • Enjoy the journey. Don’t be overly concerned about outcomes or achievements. Instead, give yourself permission to enjoy the present moment, learn and grow.

Your life is your own unique journey and it doesn’t matter what others are doing. Be the best person you can be and embrace your individuality. Stop comparing yourself to others and give yourself permission to be yourself to improve your self-esteem.

You can find Fay Agathangelou on Facebook, Google+, Twitter, Pinterest and her website.

APA Reference
Agathangelou, F. (2015, May 5). Stop Comparing Yourself to Others to Improve Self-Esteem, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 20 from

Author: Fay Agathangelou

Dr. Sunny Sharma
May, 5 2015 at 5:46 am

Thank you for sharing such a great information, effort is really appreciated points mentioned are the most important things to follow to live healthy and peaceful life.

In reply to by Anonymous (not verified)

Fay Agathangelou
May, 5 2015 at 5:42 pm

Hi Dr. Sunny Sharma,
Thanks very much for sharing your thoughts, I'm glad you liked the article.

Self Esteem
June, 7 2015 at 4:10 am

Not everything is easy to do because we are always compared by other people in our job, with our family, with our friends... This is a complicated situation but your advises are great and take part of a self esteem therapy! Thank you!

Robinn G
July, 18 2015 at 1:44 pm

It's hard to remember that no-one's life is as perfect as it looks. I have a relative whose life looks perfect -- but I know enough now to know that it isn't.

A man thankful for Kanye
November, 27 2018 at 8:13 am

Thank you Kanye very cool

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