Bipolar Depression and Feeling Nothing at All

i am dead inside

Linda..you said it perfect on three words, "I am dead inside."

'All grey and unhoppy'.... that actually made me smile from a dark numb place. Thanks for that :)

The feelings that cannot be known only to the one that owns that soul,
The heartless measure one applies to keep going,only half there,bowed over by the pain inside.
Some little light,thought faint and far away comes and goes.
It comes in different forms,the voice of a loved one or message from a friend.
It may be that joy while outside that you gave you a lift.
It may be rough and far from the best,will it change though when we pass this test?

My girlfriend is depressed and always being bitchyy how do I help her

hahaha I can't remeber feeling emotions and genuine happiness

Reading some of these comments would make many depressed. Life is out there, take advantage of each good spot and there are many, just open up to them. I suffered greatly- stood on the edge of the platform with the urge to jump. About three seperate times, a urge, cannot explain how my whole soul was operating but my common sense wasnt - or was it? The train came, i seen the drivers eyes, i knew he knew i wanted peace. He nodded his head, acknowledge me, and NO- that split second interaction saved my life. That man with those eyes that/spoke to me but not in words. I am bi pola - many meds and attempts to feel better, it tooks a couple of years BUT im ok- i still have downers but not severe or for long. I am on meds that help immensely. Im 49 since about 44yrs ive been diagnosed- so basically all my life i was misdiagnosed. My life was wasted- that is the worst thing i will take to my grave I have done myself wrong but i am treated now and i live to live. Yes, im numb at times- but will cry at sad things, laugh at funny things SO, i am not numb. Dont wallow- yes, dont wallow- there is a difference. There is a difference, find it. Get help- i take tablets a day and my thyroid is broken but those meds, any meds help. I want to keep on them.
Lithium, Seroquel, thyroxine, zyban, deraline, ritalin - ritalin and seroquel help 100% racing thoughts 85% of the time are gone. Plus ritalin helps immensely, both seroquel and ritalin were horrible at first but approx six weeks my body adjusted. Serquel no doubt has done wonders. My mind is at ease.
Get up and get help.

The feeling of nothing is what I am experiencing right now - a feeling of emptiness and nothingness. The only thing keeping me going is that I've been here before and have recovered. The inability to think, the inability to converse are the symptoms I struggle most with.
Prior to this episode of mania followed by depression I was symptom free for 11 years. I have to remind myself that there is no reason with the aid of a mood stabiliser that I can't get better and stay better.

Yesterday, I was out with my friends.
We were in the car having fun like crazy, then all of a sudden I felt empty.
I don't know how to describe it, I just felt an absence.
After a while, my friends noticed my sudden mood change-if you could ascertain my state to a particular mood.
So I tried to act happy and 'hoppy' but I just wasn't able to even try.
I'm still feeling that way. I know it will go eventually, it's not the first time it happens.
But what really bothers me is that I know that it can be toxic to my entourage.

Hi there, to start am a engineering final year student and I've been facing this issue since more than one year. I literally don't feel anything, it's like am completely dead inside. I usually smile or laugh but I have to force it out mostly. The people who I loved, I don't feel anything for them too anymore. The worst part is I don't even feel anything for my family anymore. I just know I need to care for them, so I do it. It's been two years since I cried or smiled or laughed from deep inside. I sometimes want to scream out and cry but not able to do that either. It's completely confusing what's going on, I just feel like it's a stone inside me. I don't get interested in groups, even if a marriage or any function I feel like I want to be alone. I go on with people normally coz I feel I need to do it. The love and care I show out is just coz I feel that I should do it. I would like to know what's going on with me.

I've been feeling nothing for a year now . I'm very young and still have my whole life to live but I just don't care. When I cry or laugh - it's not from deep down. Most of my laughs are fake or just skin deep. All of my crying is skin deep.
I don't want to feel this way.
I take quite a bit of school of and my peers think it's cause I'm lazy. No it's cause i just couldn't care less about school. Thanks for the help and I'll try to remeber. I don't want to take medicine nor go to a pyschiatrist. I hope one day the bunnies will hop again.

I like to use the word "pithed" as in scooped out like a melon - but the grey and unhoppy depression bunnies are far more likeable.

The thing is for me at least im stuck in a curicle i can not escape yes surely i can work hard make some money and leave it all behind but does it even matter in the end i'll die anyway so why should i even try i never felt truly hapoy or sad or anything last time was about 9 years ago and i really don't remember how it was like to feel anyway im just waiting and counting the days wasting my life until the day comes for me to leave this world my only regret is that i could've done much better but still all for nithing and nothing worth spending energy so ya cya...

Yes, you put it into words for everyone to understand. That is exactly how depression is like and I've struggled with it for a couple years in my life, up until I tried MDMA. I know sounds crazy and somewhat dangerous (as long as you get some water in your system you're good) but it completely changed my perspective in life in general. I'd even say that it saved me from myself. I was lost in the world. I wasn't present in the moment whatsoever because I just didn't want to, there was no point to it. MDMA just helped me understand the point in loving the people that love me and most importantly myself. It gave meaning and purpose to life. greatest epiphany of my life up to this point. Note that I've only done it once in my lifetime. There are plenty of articles on the web that talk about MDMA assisted psychotherapy. It's really interesting.

It has been a little soothing reading these posts knowing I am not the only one that feels like it is all for nothing , no one loves me or thinks of me I am just a waste of space , I have no idea why I am still living or how to keep going for reasons that are not clear my children are all young adults and find me to hard to deal with , I just want to FEEL SOMETHING. I just want to be alive I tread water and I am just so exhausted I am so over it all I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up .

But I'm tired of waiting. I don't have the desire to wait any longer. The only thing keeping me going is knowing I'd be taking my mom down with me and I could never do that to her. The minute she's gone, I probably will kill myself. I was actually so upset and had a nervous breakdown the day I figured out she really did love me. I just never really realized it until after I was in the hospital for threatening suicide (misunderstanding, children and youth are d**ks, I'm glad I'm an adult now). Also speaking of hospitals, they don't help at all, like zip. I laid in bed almost all day every day and did nothing but be mad they wouldn't let me leave and logically think of all the ways a person could still kill themselves.

Im 17 and when i was in therapy they diagnosed me as bipolar. Im not in therapy anymore and i no longer get any help and noe for the first time i actually understand that im bi polar and its starting to really effect me. I just started a relationship amd i get butterflies sometimes. I like him but other times its absolutely empty and i dont think its fair for him to wonder why im so down while we're on our date. I feel it creeping up on me and i think its about to get much worse . Id like help but im about to be 18 so its not going to be free anymore.

This has really helped. I thought it was me. My body language. My responsesto questions are not real answers. Feel like the conversation between people is forced. Thinking on this subject the pattern starts with a situation that involves a third party. I have the Answers and my natural impulsiveness would resolve this problem in a second. But others can't, so i get irritable and draw to a blank...

Wow. Someone else who actually understands the nothingness. I feel a little less nothing right at the moment. I suppose that's a good thing.

I am really struggling to help my 21 year old bipolar son or at least that's what the doctors suspect it is. He also states he feels no emotions whatsoever. We are seeing a therapist and trying medications. My wife and myself are so worried about him and his destructive behavior. Reading some of the post was really disheartening. Can anyone offer any hope for this bipolar emotionless disorder? W
Would greatly appreciate some words of encouragement. This is new to us and we feel so lost and hopeless.

Hello everyone. Not sure how all of this goes. About 4 months ago is when it started I thought it was just a bad week. I literally feel like it happened over night. I woke up one morning and felt nothing... I feel like crying a lot. I am not sure what this is but I'm scared. I want to be the way I used to. I wanna b happy feel those butterflies around someone. Some days I am fine and have the confidence but the past week has been nothing but not having self confidence in myself and just being moody with everyone. I want it to stop :(

I'm 16 years old I used to be the most out going fun girl and I been feeling this way for a long long time now I honestly thought it was a stage but I been feeling well basically nothing since i was 12, like sometimes I'll be okay but most of the times I end up feeling empty like nothing. When people tell me stuff or I see things happen even if it's bad or sad I feel nothing and it never goes away it always ends up coming back, even worse. I just wanna be able to really feel that true happiness I used to feel .

Hi,
I meet a problem that i have never imagined i would one day cope in my entire life: i cannot cry. I feel the water at the surface of my eye, but it would't go out. Yes, i'm having problems of my own right now, but i usually tell myself it will go away soon or later. This time, it does not. It stays, and slowly eat away my ability to feel something. I feel nothing. Absoulutely nothing and it terrifies me so much. I feel like there is somehing in my lung and it makes me hard to breath. Also, first time in my entire life, i want to cut myself. At least by doing that I can feel something. Whatever it is.

I constantly feel nothing. Or if I do then it’s guilt for feeling nothing and letting people down for not having excitement or enthusiasm

Yes, I don't know why I'm here. I can't feel anything. I wonder "what's the point", to each day, for having every single thing I have in my home, daily things, my clothes, kitchen contents. Like everything. I wonder "what's the point?" I can recognize the joy I get out of my bird feeders, which just returned a couple weeks ago! And under debilitating fatigue, I I finally cooked for the first time in weeks & weeks, and I love to cook. I have no energy & I have to go lay down.
Natasha, once again, I am searching for help, for truth, for some form of a life raft to hold onto, and once again, you are there!
God it's so hard, but not paralyzing, as it is many many (most?) days.
Oh my God, thank you for being there, just to talk. I am so much wanting & needing a shoto of vitamin 12, I think, so I've heard.
My depression has been debilitating.
Just now, I've come up for air.

My husband with bipolar,just told me this morning that he has times in his life when he feels nothing at all. In searching for information on it I found this website. It's comforting to know there are others out there that are dealing with this and how they are dealing with it. We are a praying couple . He says hasn't felt God for along time. He goes through the motions forcing himself to work or go to Church and or carry on daily living. I wish I could do more to help support him. Any ideas are welcomed?

I don’t feel nothing Rn I don’t love no one I am not mad I am not sad even tho I have a lot of reasons to be it’s just blank it’s weird and I am trying to cry but I can’t

I have been feeling nothing for the past few months I don’t feel sad or anything I can’t cry I can sit there and get yelled at but still nothing it’s just like there not saying anything at all I’m not sure what to do so I just try to act normal around my friends.

I dont feel anything. Its been going on for quite some time and i chosed to ignore it, thinking maybe im just being dramatic and such. When i hang out with my family or friends, i do laugh and try to have some fun but i dont think i genuinely feel happy inside. I thought being in a relationship will somehow help me through this but the sad part is, it didn't. Once when we were still together, he told me i was a 'cold, unemotional and uncapable of loving'. And when our relationship ended with him just leaving without saying anything, i actually didnt felt anything. Not even a tinge of pain. I refused to think of what went wrong. I refused to think of our whole relationship. Basically i just went on with my life. Didn't even cried for him. I rarely get mad but when i do, i totally lose it. Its like you feel nothing for quite some time and all at once, youll feel something, unfortunately, its anger and you just have to lash it out. I pretty much break everything i get a hold on during this phase. So i really try to controly anger. But the weird part is, i like reading books with sad endings. Maybe this contributed on why im feeling this way but the reason why i read those things is that, ita make me feel pain. Sorrow. Like i could feel my heart being squeezed and that feeling, i hold on to it. Cause its something that makes me feel... Human...

But how do we know it will be the same again one day? I’ve had the numbness for around 20 years now. At least I’m stable (sarcasm). I have to get back my emotions, I can’t die having not felt anything since I was a teenager, and even then the mood swings started so things got distorted pretty quickly. Nevertheless, this post made me feel relieved to hear my experiences put into words. Yes, I just sit and wait for my child to eat his ice cream, I force myself to go on a walk with him, wondering when we can turn back around. I have a great job and dread getting a new assignment because I don’t have motivation. I didn’t realize this could be depression. I just thought it’s what it was like to have a stable mood.

Thank you so much. I've been feeling numb for a while and had to binge read about psychopaths (yeah..) to stir some emotional response in me. Your witty announcement of stunningly insightful recommendations actually made me smile and feel joyful again.

Unfortunately, I feel all of the bad things (the sadness, the anger, very heavy grief) and none of the good things. I thought for most of last year that I fell out of love with my partner, and it wasn't until my cat was laying on me and purring and being all cute that I felt nothing and realized there was a bigger problem with my emotions. I've been on 300 mg of Lamictal for almost 5 weeks and I'm still not feeling much in the positive emotion category. I'll have to bring this up with my psychiatrist. But before I was treated, everything felt gray, even when it was bright and sunny out. I had been misdiagnosed with depression for years until I found a doctor who actively listened to the things I was telling him. I'm a work in progress, but I definitely relate to this article.

I've had 2 emotional traumas in 3 years. Going back on prozac because depression returned and emotions are gone, it put me into a manic phase. I didn't figure it out for a while but the prozac made me shop, travel, clean, etc. They say you can be BP with no cycling until a medicaiton "breaks it" now that that's happened, will I always be manic? Dont see theropist or dr for a few days

I really like this article because this is how I feel "nothing at all". I am bipolar and at the moment going through a hard time with depression being 5 weeks being sick with major depression and anxiety. Yesterday I had a great day clear mindset and my thought patterns and logic was great. I thought I was better until I woke up today depressed and feeling nothing at all. It's an awful and strange feeling not having any emotions that makes us feel good.

Your experience pretty much describe my whole life. Sad, numb, tired, no-motivation, anxiety about everything. I try everything I can to try to fill the void, but it just temporary and the emptiness continue. The most tragic part is it rob my ability (if I have any) to connect with peoples . And my hypomania episodes often cause problems with family members. I'm on anti-depp medication, which only gives me energy to focus and productive for half a day.

Now I know what people mean when they say emptiness. I realized I m bipolar for jo reason my mood is switchin every day. I was takjng lithium it helped me. Now i dont have more of it so I drink half glass of wine the emptiness is gone. It's temporary but better than feeling sad all day.

I’ve felt blank for 3 years. I’ve tried to take my life 3 times this year because if I can’t get back to normal and feeling like myself what’s the point. My friends did an intervention but the hospital did not help. They medicated me and had groups about coping skills etc. I sat around just thinking I’m even lower now because of this experience. I just want out.

Thank you so much for explaining this! Most of my depressive episodes are exactly this...a void...a nothingness. It's frustrating because nothing specific is wrong...I can't seem to find anything to change to pull myself out of that void. What can you do to combat nothing? My meds help me be mostly stable, but of course I go hypo-manic or depressive every few months. Not as bad as before my meds, but that monster is still there. I haven't been to a therapist in a year or so because I don't know what to talk about that I haven't before. I don't have severe trauma that haunts me or anything like that. Have I had some stuff happen to me that I ruminate on? yes. But I can't help compare my story to others and find that mine is nothing. So then I feel guilty. I haven't gotten through near as traumatic events as others, but here I am depressed for no reason. Just here. Empty. I suppose that's something I could talk about...IDK

welcome to my reality! Im 52, when I was young I used to drink and do drugs to cope with my excesivelly strong emotions, mostly anger and fear. Today at 52 I would have to do alcohol and drugs to feal maybe just a little bit but as I found out I only get sick so its not worth it. There is nothing I feel, no anger no fear no hate no love no joy no pain no sadness or sorrow, nothing. And tell you what although people call me detached and cold and arogant and desinterested (all true) Im still thinking that this may not be so bad. I saves me a lot of unneeded drama and stuff that only takes up time. So having no emotins at all my scare others but its actually not that bad.

The problem with my condition is that it's not just about the emotions it's also about all the feelings. I don't experience nothing like things attributed to depression like feeling of hopelessness or worthlessness. I'm not hopeful but i am not hopeless either. I am really really NOTHING. and i don't experience any other feelings other than emotions