Anxiety can make us say mean things, regrettably, no matter how nice we are. I would say that I am a nice person. Indeed, I would go as far to say that my “niceness” is often viewed as a defining characteristic to my closest friends. As far as I know myself, this isn’t just appearances. I do care deeply about people and feel a great sadness when learning about other people’s unhappiness and disappointments. I cannot bear to hear stories of loneliness and abandonment. I do not think that I have ever intended to hurt anybody or that I have ever taken pleasure in another person’s unhappiness. But I have said mean things when anxiety got the better of me.

Anxiety lies to you. It tells you lies in order to bully you and control you. A common complaint among people living with one or more anxiety disorders is that they can't get the racing thoughts of anxiety out of their head. A reason for this is that anxiety, seemingly without stopping, feeds lies directly into your brain. When we’re told something over and over and over again, we start to believe it. By telling you certain lies, anxiety strengthens itself so it can keep a hold on you and your life. See if you recognize any of these 12 common lies anxiety tells.

Anxiety is a burden that involves excessive worry and fear. When we live with anxiety and its worry and fear, we give up things in life that were once joyful. It’s not that we want to give up what we love; instead, anxiety is so all-consuming that it’s heavy and burdensome. Anxiety is hard to carry. The following simple short story illustrates just how burdensome anxiety, worry, and fear can be. It can also be a tool to help children cope with fear and anxiety. 

The words "anxiety," "criticism," and "self-doubt" can be synonyms, closely knit word triplets. Those mere words indicate that anxiety has many effects that tend to make life difficult. One particularly annoying effect of anxiety is sensitivity to criticism. Feeling crushed by criticism is an effect of anxiety, in general, and social anxiety, in particular, where the fear of being judged or of embarrassment can be immense. When anxiety and criticism are overpowering and lead to self-doubt, take heart. There are ways to conquer self-doubt. with with anxiety and criticism 

You can remain creative with anxiety, if, indeed, you are creative in the first place. I believe that it is high time that we as a society stamp out the rather offensive notion that mental illness is somehow linked in with creative thinking and originality. This cliché could, in fact, not be further from the truth (Mental Illness and Crazy: Creativity and Medication). Many great artists, musicians and writers produce exceptional works in spite of their mental illness, not because of it. I am not a genius and I don’t have any fantastically advanced talents to speak of. However, I have felt my own ability to be creative disintegrate during times when my anxiety has skyrocketed but I've also learned how to remain creative through anxiety.

Anxiety can get tangled up with relationships and self-esteem. It’s Valentine's day this week which will also mark me and my partner’s six year anniversary as a couple. I'm lucky. We have a very close, equal and happy relationship. However, the process of falling and being in love has been tricky, and I have been hounded all the way by my depression and anxiety. Anxiety affects relationships and self-esteem.

A common effect of anxiety that can cause frustration is indecisiveness. Like depression and indecision, anxiety can make it difficult for people to make decisions, and not just the big, life decisions, either. With anxiety, it can be hard to make any decision, even ones that seem small and insignificant to others. This indecisiveness isn't intentional; instead, indecisiveness is an effect of anxiety that creates a high degree of frustration. 

I understand age-related anxiety. I’m going to turn 25 on the 21st of January. This is, of course, hardly an advanced age but, still, it feels like kind of a landmark birthday. The Internet is littered with lists of things that you should do and places you should travel to by this age, almost as if it is some sort of cut off date for being young and reckless. And I've never, in all honesty, been all that good at being young and reckless. I’m incredibly cautious and am terrified of most things so the thought of dropping everything and going backpacking in some faraway country is beyond my comprehension. This is, of course, difficult, as photographic depictions of youth in the media generally focus on perfectly slim, young things with seemingly limitless bank accounts leaping from waterfalls and laughing in exotic locations (Body-Image Distortion a Growing Problem Among Women and Men). Age-related anxiety is something I'm experiencing.

I have a lot of introspective thoughts and I worry that in the past this has inevitably come across during conversations as me being self absorbed. There, I’ve said it. I guess that a lot of people can relate to this somewhat, but for a person with an anxiety disorder, introspective thinking can take on a whole new meaning. Being locked in this repetitive thought process has seriously distracted me from the important things in life and has even led to arguments. The insult that tends to get most thrown at me during a disagreement is that I am “selfish.” On some levels I can see how this could come across. During times when I am wrapped up in my own anxious thoughts, I can admittedly be less than fully aware of the hurt of others.

Anxiety and overthinking tend to be evil partners. One of the horrible hallmarks of any type of anxiety disorder is the tendency to overthink everything. The anxious brain is hypervigilant, always on the lookout for anything it perceives to be dangerous or worrisome. I've been accused of making problems where there aren't any. To me, though, there are, indeed, problems. Why? Because anxiety causes me to overthink everything. Anxiety makes us overthink everything in many different ways, and the result of this overthinking isn't helpful at all. Fortunately, anxiety and overthinking everything doesn't have to be a permanent part of our existence.