Fear is often an obstacle for women, keeping them immobilized, or holding them back from what they might otherwise lean into. I have been reading Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg, and feel validated by the stories she tells about herself growing up since I have experienced similar teasing for my leadership tendencies. Being a strong willed, opinionated, originality-loving, idea-sharing girl, had me called “bossy” more than once causing me to feel shame about who I was. While boys with similar characteristics were rewarded and encouraged.

I was talking a client down from a panic attack on the phone last week and he was telling me what was freaking him out the most. "I have to live with these thoughts. I will never be OK again." This has got to be one of the scariest things that Anxiety does. It makes you look in the future and only see it staring you down. You mourn every event you might have in your future–that it will be fraught with this horrible feeling. Frankly, it makes you not want to have a future.

Kids and Their Psychiatric "Disorders" This morning, I read a disturbing headline: 1 in 5 Kids May Have Psych Disorder. Say what? It makes me wonder: What are we doing to our children? As someone who has been in the field for 20 years, I have seen diagnosing children with a psych disorder do more harm than good. Children fulfill the prophesies of these mental health diagnostic labels and it is very hard to recover from these identities supported by years of mental health practitioners, with albiet good intentions, telling them what is wrong with them and that they have to "cope" with it.

It is like me asking you if you are human in the Western world today. Yes! Much of our anxiety comes from comparing ourselves to others. We think that we are not smart enough, skilled enough, cool enough. Not enough, not enough, not enough! And if we are not enough, then maybe we can't manage things, or have people stay with us. This can shoot anxiety through the roof! Watch this video to see why we do this and what to do about it!

What do hospital anxiety, surgery fear and fear of medicine have in common? They are all extremely common things that people get anxious about. In fact, some people become so anxious, these normal fears turn into phobias. Nosocomephobia is the name of the phobia relating to the fear of hospitals. Tomophobia is a fear of surgery or surgical operations. Pharmacophobia is a fear of medicine. Millions of people have hospital anxiety, fear of surgery, and are afraid to take medicine. Even if the medication is for anxiety, some people claim they are too anxious to take it! (I, too, felt this way when I was anxious.) But what causes these fears and what can you do about them?

When we have a past trauma, so many things can trigger an old memory to rise up and take over our emotions. A smell, a shape, a sound, a touch, a person. Anything our senses take in can send us emotionally back to a threatening past trauma. The suffering of this is intense. It may be a nightmare, a flashback, or an anxiety attack. It can also be incredibly frustrating and disappointing that even though you are presently safe--that you feel the persistent panic as though you are still in constant danger.

We all have a mental health. And each of our mental health is in flex all of the time. We, our minds and our bodies and our hearts, change every moment. What separates people with so called "mental illness" (I hate this term) is an us-them mentality. A simple–while misdirected–belief that mentally ill people are different. And that begets fear. I am very excited that  HealthyPlace.com began their Stand Up For Mental Health Campaign this week. This award winning website wants to break the stigma by having people join together and speak out about their problems! I say, let's do it! If we do it, other people will feel less alone and isolated. And I think that heals better than anything. Help us spread  the word. Go here to put a button on your website like mine below.

Guilt can mobilize or motivate. Which would you prefer?  Guilt is an all too common trigger for anxiety. This video covers what to do about it. Guilt Can Immobilize Guilt keeps us stuck when we feel like we are unforgivable. It is so definite, there is no room for anything else. Why try anything or attempt to see yourself another way? You are unforgivable. This thought pattern not only keeps you from healing, it also prevents you from contributing to anyone around you. It can make you anxious, avoid activities and people, and let go of dreams and relationships.

Fear of losing someone you love is a common fear. (Or something happening to someone you love.) These fears comes from a great love. The fear is love. But once you realize the love, and take action on that, there is no point to the fear. Fear is immobilizing, love is energizing. Remember, the biological reason for fear is to get us to act, after the action, the fear is pointless. (Worse than pointless, as it hurts you.)

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is a common ailment that is often misdiagnosed. That's because the symptoms of PTSD are similar to many other mental health disorders listed in the DSM manual. These include but are not limited to ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Anxiety Disorders, Adjustment Disorders, Depressive Disorders, Borderline Personality Disorder, OCD, and Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Surprised?