Abusers Induce Multiple Miscarriages After Victim Gets Pregnant

"You don't need my voice, girl; you have your own."
-Tori Amos

So here it goes, the story of my life. It started when I was about 2 or 3. I am DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) / MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder) and that is the age of my youngest alter. Anyway, my cousins were the abusers. CJ is my age and Mindy is a few years older, and now, I have memories of my aunt.

I know that things started with groping and touching. But then things turned sadistic. Or shall I be nice by saying ritualistic. I was poked and prodded and chemicals were put on my skin. I was beaten by baseball bats, and, of course, I was sodomized. Not just with my cousin's penis, but with cucumbers, golf clubs, pens, sticks and anything else that was lying around. That lasted until I was about 6. Then I was vaginally raped by my cousin, my other cousin performed oral sex on me, and my aunt manually stimulated me. I remember a wooden spoon once.

Well this was obviously traumatizing enough, but when I was 12, I got pregnant. I was about 15-weeks pregnant before they figured out what was going on. They took a baseball bat and hit my stomach until I miscarried my dear little boy. Isaac Hunter is his name. He was born on 4-12-96. He was also burned that day. Lucky enough he wasn't alive when they did it.

That was the beginning of my fighting back. I decided I would have to win this for the sake of my dead child. However, before I got enough courage to tell, I got pregnant again. This time I was 18-weeks pregnant when they found out. I was hit with a baseball bat and a salty solution was put inside me. Kaylie Elizabeth was born and burned on 2-1-97. She was 4-inches long, and she had blondish fuzz on her head. My sweet Kaylie. She was also born dead. Besides all the bats, rapes, and beatings, losing those precious babies to the hands of my abusers was the worst thing to happen in my entire life.

After Kaylie, nothing mattered anymore. On February 5th, 1997, I broke my silence. Nothing happened to my abusers, not enough physical evidence, and they "couldn't prove beyond a reasonable doubt" that there was force and not just consensual. I had showered.

Well, at least I have screamed to the world what happened, and now everyone knows my children's names. May they RIP. Thanks for listening.

-Laura