Tips For Partners Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hello! My name is Kai, and my friend (who I'll call "C") has DID. I have had a long distance romantic relationship with one of his alters, who I'll call "A," for over a year, and we visited in person last summer. I had a wonderful time with them all, and it was one of the best times of my life.
Today, "A" told me that their therapist and the others voted that he needs to reintegrate, in order to strengthen "C," the main core of their system. I am devastated, but of course i understand. I love them all in their own ways, and want whatever is best for their system as a whole.
We said our farewells today. "A" said he won't be fronting again. I still am going to be friends with "C," and the others in his system of course... But... Do you have any insight as to how i should best deal with this loss? I feel like there's been a death, even though "C" is still alive. I don't want to burden "C" with my grief, he's struggling enough on his own right now, and, it's really complicated for me to explain to my own therapist, i don't feel like she'll understand it. I don't know anybody else who was close to "A," (he was a protector), so, there's nobody for me to grieve with about this... I feel like it's selfish of me to feel this way, and of course i want what's best for "C," and for their system as a whole... But it hurts so much, and i don't know where to turn. There's almost no information on navigating relationships with partners who have DID, or relationships with alters, let alone how to cope with losing someone to integration.
Thank you.

I have been with my wife for just over nine years. Just after we got married alters started to really show themselves. This was about four years after dating. Over the years since, a lot of things that happened in the past make a lot more sense. Note, I have also know this person since high school.
To date I have met most of the "others" as we call them in conversation (as they do also). There are twelve of them. One I was told died. I assume from what I have learned this particular one merged. None the less. This makes for a full house. I brought three children with me into this marriage. None of them to date have been told of the others.
It makes for an always changing, sometimes chaotic, stressful environment for me. Also, as noted above, sometimes lonely. I admit it has made me mad, sad, laugh and cry. I sometimes think, I did not sign up for this! But, I did. I married her because I loved her, all of her.. sickness and health, 4 year old or 60 year old.
I am searching for avenues of support as I can't talk to anyone about this. A couple friends know, and we get that.. "oh really?!"..

I think I have DID. I regress a lot. My husband has figured out how to safely bring me back. I know this is stressful for him.I wish I knew how to stop the regressions from happening. I was diagnosed with multiple personality disorder years ago and I fear it has come back but I have no proof.I am lost at what to do, any suggestions?

Kevin is his name n we were together for 6yrs in which up until a few mos ago he was committed or so I thought to only me now he's with a 23yr old n he's almost 36!! We have a 5yr old daughter together who's very confused. She sees Daddy bein all nice n loveable to Mommy but then he goes back n denies our intimacy calls me delusional becomes Wells monster his ego is bigger than the altar himself so far there are three ik that his mother has mpd n from all the info n the deameanor I gather he has some form of mpd as well. This has caused him not only to separate US but all three of US includin our daughter I've been homeless now for two wks as he has stolen all my money so I couldn't leave him I'm all alone in this as he is a master manipulator n instead of takin accountability continuously blames me for " the monster he has become" idfk wtf to do anymore he hates me doesn't recollect or denies I myself am bi polar n it's taken me awhile to control n maintain me let alone all the nefarious unnecessary bs he's puttin me thru I've tried to tell him n he just continues to deny or he will tell me that I'm stupid delusional n or tells me to stfu I love him whole heartedly n hopes he sees that I'm not "full of shit" as he says n this isn't even All of it

I know it’s Christmas Eve and people have other things to do, but this just hit today. I’m just learning of this. I’ve met this girl about 3 months ago. To put it short we were met at a seasonal job working long hours. We really hit it off from the get go. We had exchanged numbers the first day or so. Then she had to take leave for r&r. We worked a couple more days together when she came back before I was transferred. We kept in touch and I made it back and we reconnected. After the summer work we hung out and have tried to have a relationship. We live a couple hours apart so time is precious. During that time she said she was too busy and not to bug her, then it would be later in the day she missed me and want to talk. She had told me that she had been a ex addict and has been clean for a 6 years. She was also in an abusive relationship which almost killed her.
I guess what I’m wanting to know is normal for people DID to just try and push people out then want them back? We haven’t been able to see each other in a month and she has been working a high stress job. All she has wanted to do is fight with me on the phone and make me feel like I can’t do anything right. I couldn’t get Christmas right and basically broke up with me today. When we(were) together everything was fine, though it took a while to break the wall down. when we apart she like would build up this wall. I’m just at a loss and trying to learn more. Thanks

Hi, My name is Shawnesta and I've been with my husband for 20 yrs now. He recently came out about his DID to me, our boys and some of the family. I knew he had multiple personalities but I never realized it until he came to me with his alter, Pixi. Him and Pixi are both in love with me but they get jealous of each other if one spends too much time with me than the other one. She enjoys doing all the things women would do. In example, painting her nails, shaving her legs and putting on make up as well as women clothing. My husband works at night and comes home in the morning and Pixi comes about and does these things and he wakes up like this and gets upset about it. I've mentioned to him about getting some kind of help with all of this and he refuses to cause he don't want to be medicated. I'm confused at this cause I know he needs help but I don't want to force it.

Hi, I'm apart of a system, I'm not diagnosed with DID but I most definitely have symptoms, I am 16, and am only really hearing bad stories. Should our system just not date?

For those of you who are struggling with D.I.D or know someone who is struggling with D.I.D, there is an amazing YouTube channel called DissociaDID dedicated for this disorder.
My partner was diagnosed with DID a few years ago and while it has been hard for both of us, this channel has really changed our life. It's an educational channel run by an individual with D.I.D. A lot of the questions that I had and a lot of questions that you have in this forum is answered in these videos. The channel also focuses on helpful tips for those struggling with DID.
If you have a chance, I would recommend checking this page out (and no, this is not sponsored). I'm just an individual who has experienced the pain and hardship that comes with D.I.D and want to do my part in helping those who are going through the same thing.
This is the link to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6kFD5xIFvWyLlytv5pTR1w

Well i tried educating myself but by the time i did she had already shifted to another personality and broke up with me. "mental stalker" was the noun she gave me when i tried explaining it.

These DID beings need lots of hugs, kiss them on there forehead and say love thee.
Times will be hard but one will feel the love, threw there food threw there what ever.
Be open mind. One will see the light.
We make the bed while other sleeps, more time for hugs. They need lots of hugs. Her and I have been together 8k hours minus 1.5 months do to hospital visist. Since February 22, 2020.- March 14, 2021. When one sees pearls of tears go down face, it’s real. I don’t know ASL, (SM). one will go the distance. She is undiagnosed. Diagnosed with schizophrenia which one sees is not true.
One loves quotes. We write each other quotes.
The fist quote she wrote is, “everywhere everywhere.”
When the crowns on all the checkers face your end watch out.
Be creative,
Ones first date married , her last date was Avery a guy. My first date is Avery and she is a women. 3k old. Love one Bear Bella Perzel.Avery one is strong. Love one always. Serve thy community serve thy state serve thy country serve thy world. And serve all in the universe for the universe holds the flower together in our hands.
Lots of hugs to all,
Rob

People with DID, please don't be afraid to have a relationship or get married if you should find a person who really loves you and believes themselves strong enough to be with you.
In 1987 I fell in love with a lady with DID. I met with at least 3 separate personalities I encountered over the following 18 months. Two were loving, kind and very much in love with me.. particularly the primary personality that seemed to be dominant most of the time.. The third was rarely seen.... destructive and dismissive at first, believing I held her back from what she wanted and needed.
One night she came home at 2 AM, cold and stiff. I held her and she started crying, demanding that I punish her , hit her. I held her tight, kissed her and told her that I could never hurt her, I loved her. I said that no matter what had happened that night, no matter what she had done,. it didn't matter, I loved her. And I meant it completely without reservation. I held her tighter and she held onto me tighter,. I felt waves of love from this personality. as she sobbed herself to sleep.
The next morning, the happy loving partner personality seemed completely unaware of the events of the previous night... and I may have made the biggest mistake of my life by not discussing it with her... but she seemed so happy I didn't want to hurt her.
The dismissive personality I believe came to love me after that night, and i watched as she fought to change her destructive ways over the next few months.
Several months later I asked the primary , loving personality to marry me. I saw the joy in her eyes that then shifted to concern and quiet. She hugged me tightly and desperately, we kissed.... but would not answer Yes or No. That was the last night I ever saw her... she disappeared and a friend told me that she said she would never return to me... she felt she was protecting me and she never wants to harm me..
People with DID.... Please know that if you meet someone out there for you, who can love you so strongly and completely ... that says they wanting to marry you, eyes wide open...
Don't run from them... trust that if they say they are strong enough to weather anything that happens, and they love you completely. without reservation....... you and they both deserve the chance at long term happiness.
Only time and trying will tell... do not give into fear of what may happen... find out what does happen.
.

I think I may be married to someone with some form of DID. I know he experienced trauma as a kid but I’m not sure the specifics. I always thought he was so inconsistent- one day he would like something and the next he wouldnt. It always left me confused and walking on egg shells. I started to see a therapist and she asked me if he had been diagnosed with DID or a personality disorder. After I read about it DID, I’m still not sure. He’s been stressed with work lately and the blank stares are becoming more frequent. I also find that I’m having to repeat myself more and more lately. I’ll tell him a story only to find that he can’t remember me telling him. At first I thought he was trying to gaslight me and was trying to make me go crazy but he wasnt. He really couldnt recall what he even did on that day. Sometimes he wears glasses and sometimes he says he doesnt need them. It’s a bit confusing and hard to understand. Especially when he doesn’t and will not talk to me about what he’s going through. I don’t know how to ask him or talk to him about it.

i am still suffering distress after witnessing the 4 yrs 8 months abuse of my client online i being alerted 5 times by child alter 2yr old Bethie following her persecutor alter removing me for fear i would reveal her seeking revictimization . It has destroyed my life ruined my daughters wedding and graduation . The only plus is that her abuser did a Jeffrey Epstein and tributes and condolences to family of a man that ruin my life threats from police and social services deleting evidence

I hope this is still active. I stumbled upon this page. I have been hoping, searching, pleading for support from people who actually understand what I go through. I have been with my wife for 12 yrs. When we met she told me she had DID. I knew what it was... but didn't understand... not really... what that would mean for me. My wife has over 20 personalities. Most are nice and just fine to deal with. But there are a few that are very emotionally abusive. I often feel like I am going crazy. I have not been happy for a long time. It is so hard for me. If anyone I k eq told me that they were going through what I was I would tell them to leave. I have been very close a few times . But have always been pulled back in. Because I truly do love her. And I know she, the primary personality, loves me too. And I just have a hard time throwing that love and 12 yrs away. But I just don't k ow what I am supposed to do.... am I supposed to stay and just endure.... or do I leave and break both our hearts.