What Is It Really Like to Stay in A Mental Hospital?
I was diagnosed with bipolar about 16 years ago and it took years for me to find an effective treatment. At the time, I was very suicidal but I wouldn’t go to a hospital. I said, and I really meant, “I would rather die than go to one of those places.” But, much to my surprise, a few years later, when I was again very suicidal, I checked myself into one of those places. I stayed in a mental hospital.
What Are Mental Hospitals Like?
Mental hospitals, or psychiatric wards (which is, technically, where I was), are all different. Some offer the basic service of keeping you alive while others offer all types of therapies and treatment. Some are really designed for shorter term stays, like three days, while others are more able to handle longer stays such as those of a few months. It really does vary. And I would say that the quality of care available at different mental hospitals vary as well.
What Was My Stay at a Mental Hospital Like?
I admitted myself to the mental hospital after tearfully explaining to too many professionals in the emergency department that I was acutely suicidal. Doctors, of course, made the ultimate decision to admit me. Once there, they went through the few things I had brought with me, confiscated my medication (except the birth control pill) and showed me to a bed (it was late by the time I got there – hours in the emergency room to blame).
Not surprisingly, I was in pretty bad shape so every little thing seemed like an ordeal. I brought, quite intelligently, my own tissues and used far too many of them (those given out in the hospital are scratchy and unpleasant if you’re going to cry your way through the days).
The next day a general doctor came by to assess my overall health. Basic blood tests were run, my blood pressure was checked, that sort of thing. And then my psychiatrist (who worked at the hospital) came by. He promptly changed my medications drastically. Not surprising considering how badly I was doing but rapid medication changes are highly unpleasant under any circumstances. It seems to me, though, that this type of treatment is more common in the mental hospital as doctors know that any side effects that come up will be medical supervised and while unpleasant, are likely not dangerous.
The next morning I woke up to a nurse shaking me awake and yelling at me to come and have breakfast in the common room. I said to the nurse, “I can’t see.”
However, she didn’t hear me, she didn’t believe me or she didn’t care because the last thing I remember was her leaving my room yelling at me to go have breakfast.
At that point I realized something. I realized that if I looked straight down, I could see my toes. I didn’t know why I could only see my toes, but somehow, that day, I made it to the common room and ate breakfast, only looking at my toes.
What had happened, of course, was side effect. For me, the medication was so strong I couldn’t wake, and when I was forcibly awoken, I remained so stoned that my eyelids, physically, wouldn’t open. This gave me the impression of blindness but, really, it’s just that I could only life my eyelids a tiny amount and thus could only see my feet.
I saw my psychiatrist again that day and explained what had happened. While I was rather disturbed by the experience he didn’t seem concerned in the least. I can’t remember if we adjusted things at that point or if the side effect wore off on its own. I saw him most days and we tweaked things regularly.
I was then introduced to group therapy – an every morning event – and art therapy --- every other day. And that was it for the therapies offered. It was pretty lackluster.
What It Was Like for Me to Stay in the Mental Hospital
In my case, as I was in a non-locked ward and I had signed myself in, I could sign myself out for short periods of time too so while I was “in” the mental hospital, I actually spent a lot of time in the park next door.
I will say that while I was there, they mixed up medications twice – I have no idea why. Maybe a doctor who writes too fast, maybe too many changes at once, who knows. But the nurses never took kindly to being told that.
I will also say that I thought the nurses were mostly crap. While I’m sure it varies all over, my experiences with them were mostly negative. When I went to speak to them at the desk, they would literally ignore my presence and go on about their conversations as if I wasn’t there. And I, being extremely sick, was in no position to assert myself. It’s like they thought they should ignore me because I was “crazy.”
I was also allowed to use the phone (one per floor) when I wanted – not that I really wanted to talk to anyone.
I had visitors and I don’t remember there being any set hours for their visiting. Someone dropped off books and another took me home so I could shower there instead of at the hospital.
All in all, it was really unpleasant. But then, I was so depressed and so suicidal, I can’t imagine anything being anything but unpleasant.
I cried my way through two weeks there until I and my doctor thought I was okay to go home. When I admitted myself I never thought I would stay that long. I thought they would keep me from killing myself for a couple of days and that would be it. But, instead, my doctor did want to see an improvement of some sort before I left.
In my next article I’ll sum up what I learned in the mental hospital and whether I think others should go to mental hospitals.
You can find Natasha Tracy on Facebook or Google+ or @Natasha_Tracy on Twitter or at Bipolar Burble, her blog.
APA Reference
Tracy, N.
(2015, January 20). What Is It Really Like to Stay in A Mental Hospital?, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, December 21 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2015/01/what-is-it-really-like-to-stay-mental-hospital
Author: Natasha Tracy
Hi Vimaris,
What kind of information are you looking for?
- Natasha Tracy
It's funny that you just ignored my earlier comment Natasha. Like it doesn't even matter..I'm just asking for an opinion...
Hi JD5544,
I'm sorry if you felt I ignored your comment. I simply didn't have an opinion I wished to share.
- Natasha Tracy
Never take a loved one to a mental health facility. I will preach against it for the rest of my life.
I went to work after suffering a severe panic attack and instead of sending me to a hospital, I was immediately cuffed and taken to a mental health facility. I obviously refused the medications so I was a normal person in a mental health facility. What I saw happening to the patients completely changed my view on humanity. I saw patients literally passing out from the medications and the lack of care from the health care professionals left me speechless. They were all desensitized. It was basically a mad house. The doctors and nurses didn't know who their patients were.
What I saw has changed me forever. Several of the patients told me they were sexually assaulted and it hurt me to know that some patients had no loved ones coming to check up on them. I now have nothing but empathy for every human being I meet.
Hi Meeh,
I'm sorry you went through that and saw that. You're right in that it absolutely isn't right and not how you treat another human being. I wanted to say, though, not all facilities are like that. Many are amazing places for recovery and many credit them as the positive turning point in their path to wellness. While I have no doubt you experienced what you did, it's not the same everywhere.
- Natasha Tracy
Visited a mental hosportal 4 times at 4 different hospitals due to bipolar disorder and suicide attempts and I can tell you from personal experince that these places are sick. The staff are terrible to the patients. The doctor shows up for maybe am hour once a week to talk to the patients and make a 5 minute assessment and prescribe to them whaybis often the wrong thing. I've gotten better on my own without visiting these horrible places and done research on medications and the condition I suffered from to make sure i was taking what was right for me. If you care about a loved one don't send them to a hospital. Consult a doctor outised of a hospital. Also, without insurance you'll be getting a hefty bill for nothing but a few days of poor medical practice and disgusting food and a very unclean environment.
Completely understand after being admitted for a suicide attempt and wa repeatedly beaten and raped for the 72 hours stay required. Husband, Police, my doctor did nothing. No one believes a crazy person.
Hi Judy,
I'm extremely sorry you had such horrible experiences. That should never happen to anyone, ever. I hope you are getting help for the trauma you survived. There are people who will believe you.
Call these people for help: Rape, Abuse, Incest, National Network (RAINN) 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673).
- Natasha Tracy
Hi, I was wonder what would the different between a three day stay and a one day stay is? Because I was told two different things about how long I would have to stay at a mental hospital, depending on my situation.
I jut stayed in Kingwood Pines and don’t go 2 of my freinds got punched for standing up for another a lot of them were rude and some girl was phsyco and seeing things and she would say to hereself (her name ) you shouldent do that you shouldent gift them and the therapy’s made you admit your deep darkest secrets to Strangers maybe other are better but don’t go to Kingwood Pines
Hi Natasha, my first visit to a Psych Ward was when I was highly suicidal, lethargic and in general mentally unwell, hence, after 15+ years of battling my demons alone I was diagnosed with Bipolar (type 2 at the time but that has since been revised to type 1). My over-arching memory of that first hospitalisation was the feeling of paranoia, something I don’t generally experience. The paranoia wasn’t related to my illness, but to the fact here I was, a person who was totally ok (I wasn’t ill, in my mind at least), being locked up as an involuntary patient, in a ward full of ‘crazies’. (At the time I had no knowledge of mental health/illness other than the sensationalised stories in the media).
As an ‘experience, it was terrifying. The following day I was put on a cocktail of medication which I had to line up for and then be checked to make sure I had swallowed it with no idea of why and no idea of what the actual medications were. As for the staff, nurses, doctors and others, I found a wide mixture of professionalism, antagonism and indifference. I don’t really remember ‘seeing’ any doctors other than the one I saw as I was admitted. One thing I do remember clearly was talking to another patient about how I was feeling and from them, finding out that a physical issue I was having was a side-effect of the medications, this was despite my having discussed it with the nursing staff.
I am a nurse and worked in mental health for most of my life. I totally agree with you and definitely agree that nurses need to be empathetic and more compassionate. I hope you will read some of the things on my website and especially this one. We all need to learn from our patients. Some of my valuable lessons are from my patients. Thanks.
Hi,
I’m 15 years old and I’ve been thinking about admitting to a mental hospital. But I’m scared to tell my mother of my decision of wanting to do so. She doesn’t know but I am depressed and have been depressed for maybe over a month and it won’t go away, I’ve taken tests to make sure that it was actually depression and not something else. How do I tell her that I want to admit after having this feeling for the third time. I don’t want to hurt her or for her to ask me any questions.
Hi, you can also talk confidentially with your guidance counselor at school. They can steer you towards resources offered by the school, including a psychologist. Before asking to go to a hospital, maybe ask to see a psychiatrist. Letting a mental health professional make recommendations may help get your mother on board. Of course if you feel like an immediate danger to yourself, ask to go to an ER, or call 911.
If it was me I would talk to your mom and see if she would be willing to let you talk to a therapist. I have before and there is nothing to be afraid of, Of course some are better then others so a bit of research might help narrow it down but they have helped me and they treat you like a human not a patient.
i have been in one myself at least 6 or 7 times as im only 14 the stay in the mental unit made everything worse not only that i was mistreated by staff i think then really need to work on making it a good space instend of a bad place that just makes it worse because then no one will want to speak up all they did was drug me didnt tell me what they just drugged me it was really bad .......
if you ever need someone to talk to email me
alanamarieharview@hotmai.com
I had basically the same experience when i was admitted, i remember being given tons of different medications some made me unable to do anything but sleep. The meds also just made me feel more depressed and anxious. The nurses wouldnt tell me what they were giving me and what doses i was receiving whatsoever. I remembered just wanting to be alone but people wouldnt stop talking to me. People repeatedly stole my possessions because i was so drugged that i couldn't understand what they were doing. I was constantly being awoken at night by my roommates and i got little to no sleep at all. The psychiatrists just blatantly ignored all my requests and didn't even really discuss how to deal with my problems. All they did was ask me why i was there and what the date and name of the facility was. I remember when i got out my parents kept telling me how much they were trying to call me but the doctors wouldnt even pick up the phone and let them talk to me. They wouldn't even let us stand up at some point during my hospitalization. I also remember that a girl had a seizure right in front of us and no one did anything to help her, emts were literally across the street from us!! It took them 1 hour to arrive and actually help her. Another girl came in and they gave her fucking morphine or some other highly sedative opiate and she was literally nodding out. She was asleep for 2 whole days and nobody did anything to help her. It honestly sickens me how people are treated in psychiatric wards. I truly believe the treatment received is the reason why so many people end up returning and ththeir condition only worsens.
Was curious.My dr had recommended short term inpatient for stabilizing my meds.I have heard they take your bra and make you wear a gown.Is this true?What's the intake process like
Me myself have been to a mental facility MANY times and i'm only a teenager I honestly couldn't stand the place whenever I was finally almost able to sleep I swear this one person would always keep you awake my thoughts on suicide,almost did it how i got into one of those horrible places,addimitted by myself and by others I was anti religious for awhile and that really made me question my life I also have anxiety and deppression and i'm not usually able to share it so this was actually very helpful.
Hi Abby,
I'm very sorry to hear you have had such poor experiences with mental hospitals. I'm glad you could share here.
- Natasha Tracy