For Loved Ones, After a Suicide Attempt
Recently, a man I have come to respect and care about attempted suicide. I am grateful he is still here to tell the tale. His suicide note was online and his pain was so evident it tore at my soul.
I was tremendously relieved to hear his friends had rescued him in time to save him. But I was then left with the problem as to what to say to this man. The last thing in the world I wanted to do was make the situation any more difficult for him.
What do you do when someone you care about just attempted suicide?
Suicide is About Pain
To be clear, people who attempt suicide aren't doing it for fun, they aren't playing at death nor are they looking for death. People who attempt suicide are trying to escape a life of (literally) unbearable pain. Suicide isn't about death, it's about pain.
The Shame and Guilt of Suicide
And most people who have attempted suicide feel extremely bad about what they have done. They're ashamed they committed the act and feel guilty they have put those around them through it. Waking up after a suicide attempt is no picnic.
What to Say to Someone Who Has Attempted Suicide
So, understanding the person is already feeling bad about attempting suicide, there is no reason to make this person feel worse. You need to be supportive. You don't need to support their action, but you need to support the person. They are hurting. All they want is to know you still care about them.
What Never to Say to a Person Who Has Attempted Suicide
The worst thing you can say to someone is about how selfish they are and how much they hurt you. These people already know that. These people are already beating themselves up. The last thing they need is to feel beaten up by you too. The more they feel rejected, the more likely they are to feel alone and to try to commit suicide again. What better reason is there to leave the planet than being in agony and finding out everyone suddenly hates you?
Stay With the Person, Remind Them Who They Are
This man I know who attempted suicide isn't "the man who attempted suicide," he's a man who is brave, bold, generous and friendly. He is a man who gives to his community and a man that I respect. He is not a "suicide attempt." A suicide attempt is only a symptom of his disease. It is not who he is. I know this. And now is the time to remind him. Because, unfortunately, he may have forgotten.
People need to feel included and loved for who they are. Yes, they may need company around them to make sure they do not hurt themselves further, but they also need it to feel human again. They feel horrible about what they did. They need to know people still love them and it will be OK.
But What about My Feelings?
You, as the loved one, have every right to feel worried, hurt, betrayed and many, many other things. I would never deny you those feelings. But right after a suicide attempt is not the moment to pick to express those. Call another friend and vent and cry if you need to. Get your own support. Make sure you are OK. But it's not the moment to enter into a deep conversation with someone who has just faced death. Wait until they are stronger. And then you can both talk openly about the act's effects and your feelings. It's OK to talk about those things, but you have to pick your moment.
But above all try to remember, this person is the same person they were before they attempted suicide. They just fell victim to a very serious symptom of their disease. No more, no less.
You can find Natasha Tracy on Facebook or GooglePlus or @Natasha_Tracy on Twitter or at the Bipolar Burble, her blog.
APA Reference
Tracy, N.
(2011, July 11). For Loved Ones, After a Suicide Attempt, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, December 12 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2011/07/for-loved-ones-after-a-suicide-attempt
Author: Natasha Tracy
April 10th one year ago my husband, killed himself in front of me and our son. I felt for sure God would heal him, when he came home he could not even lift his head, now he's in a wheelchair, can move right leg and arm, at first I worked with him everyday. Now I'm burned out, I'm scared and lonely, depressed and have anxiety. He doesn't want to go to therepy, and he doesn't want to participate in PT, he just sits around with his head covered up, doesn't interact with the family but does with anyone that comes by. I honestly don't know if he wants to get better, he's not looking to the future. I'm 53 yrs lod I can't care for him forever and I don't want too, I want a life this was not my choice, and he didn't act depressed he had been on FB all day talking with friends. We have never had a good marriage, it's always been one sided his side, used too many years ago I used to talk to him, but after years of him walking off I just quit, and now we really don't have much to say to each other. He's always been a handful, PTSD, Anxiety, sleep disorder, violent outburst, walking on egg shells around him, I want him to be healthy I NEED him to be whole. I just want out, I had know support people when he did this and I have none now, all sites like this say, DON"T talk about what happened, tell them you love them, don't tell them how much they hurt you, well what about those people like my husband who was always right, never at fault, I don't want to hurt him, I think he loves me the best he can love someone, but it's no longer enough. What do I do with him now? I've lost me and my hope, i'm being swallowed in misery.
You find god in you and everyone. God has never left you or him. I'm dealing with a attempt suicide son. I completely understand where your at. I have no one either besides a working husband. But I'm alone all the time. I'm getting things ready for him to come here. It's the inner pain in the person. We can only be love to them. Even when we don't feel it. I have no plans for my son who only has clothes. But I know God the love in me will come through. If he's with you, maybe that's what God wants and you did want him saved. It wasn't perfect before and isn't now. Same with me. You can email me anytime.
My husband tried to kill himself on 25 March. Luckily, 5 minutes of not hearing or seeing him p, i started to wonder where he was. Mybson went to look for him in his workdhop (behind5 the house). He came across his stepdad, [moderated] On hearing his shrieks, I went to investigate, I found myblufeless hubandvhunging. Ivwas jot about to give upbthe very best person in my lfe. I jumped into emergency mode ( [moderated] is still a mystery), how i managed to carry a 95kg dead weight is unimaginable (im petite).
I had to resuscitate my own husband for 25 minutes before emergency medical oersonnel arrived.
The weeks that followed were the worst ever. He was on life support for 3 weeks. Initially the medical team was not going to be aggressive with treatment, but Inpushed forth, Inwas not going to give up.
The 4th onwards, he recovered remarkably.
What he said to me after one if his counsellingvsessions, still baffles AND angers me. He blames me for what HECdid, not only to himself, but to me, our kids and our family and friends. He claims thatnif I trusted him more this would not have happened. He says he did it to prove his love for me.
Yes, I am angry. I never saw the signs. In a marriage there are ips and downs. But to kill yourself, not thinking of the aftermath IS selfish, and the readon, to me, is somewhat controlling.
To cut a long story short, I am afraid to disagree with him because I am afraid it will set him off again. I am a bit distant (physically), because I am still angry that he wanted to leave me, the kds and our family. All the love I showered him with, to me, seems was not enough.
I still worry that he will attempt it again, and that I will not be around to save him. But I am also angry that he will not lusten to my reasons for not trusting him.
*Both of us were at fault for our disagreement.......he entertaining other women, me not trusting him enough not to question him.
How do I move on from here? When do I let go of the guilt, anger, and blame?
Oh my gosh.. my partner completed suicide march 25th 2017 and was 95kg unfortunately i couldnt save him.
I just found out today that one of my best friends attempted suicide. She's always had stomach issues that she's been hospitalized for in the past, and she missed months of school earlier this year because of them. So when she suddenly stopped coming to school about two weeks ago, I figured that was what she was out for. I tried to contact her, but she didn't have her phone while in the hospital/psychiatric ward, and I think her parents grounded her after she got out. But we finally connected and I came to her house today after school. This is where she told me the truth about what happened. She'd overdosed on pills.
What really scares me about how she told me this, is how calm she was. She mentioned it almost casually, as if she were admitting to cheating on a quiz. Like, she knows it's bad but she's able to talk about it with a smile. I'm so worried that her depression is really bad to the point where she's detached from the situation, or she suffers from some sort of depersonalization disorder, though I don't know what that would be called. Basically, I worry that she'll attempt again. And I hate that I don't know how to help her. I'm just going to try my best to be someone she can trust and vent to.
I definitely didn't handle her admission that well today. I almost cried but I held it in and I sort of treated it casually, I guess since she was acting like it was no big deal. I didn't want to make her uncomfortable. I just asked her how it was at the psychiatric ward. But she did have a lot to say about it so maybe I didn't totally mess up. Okay, I don't really know why I wrote this I think I just needed to vent. But if anyone has some advice for me I would very much appreciate it! (Btw, my friend and I are both younger high schoolers, for reference)
Ever since my brother's suicide attempt, and I was the one to call 911 on him since both of my parents just stood there in their denial and basically egging him on antagoizing him and pretty much just making a joke out of the whole thing like "he was just crying wolf like in the past always, and not going to really do it and if he did, they certainly acted as if they DID NOT CARE ONE BIT- once calling 911 he was baker acted for only 3 days then returned home. After being home for only 2-3 weeks and on his medication they put him on while in the hospital, he completed and entirely STOPPED taking any of the medication the psychiatrist had prescribed him at the time. And now, to make matters even all the more worse, ever since he has been off of the meds prescribed for whatever the reason was he attempted suicide in front of my very eyes, while downing pills with straight vodka and asking/screaming from the top of his lungs while crying hysterically asking, "please dad, please someone just take a knife please and stab me in the heart to end this PLEASE.." -while also batting a wooden mallet against his head, asking my mother to wack him over the head with it and end his life as I watched both parents stand there in mere calmness and it was as tho they were acting like they totally did not care what he was doing, even when he said, "this is not going left un-noitced" which is when I myself called 911 who came, and used charcoal to eliminate the toxins within him in addition to SAVING HIS LIFE= WHICH I HAVE NEVER FELT SO ABANDONED FROM MY OWN 2 PARENTS ABOUT, I KNOW THEY R IN DENIAL TO THE MAX, HOWEVER; WHY NOW EVEN MY BROTHER (WHO IS THE ONE WHO ATTEMPTED SUICIDE) IS NOW JUST LYING PATHOLOGICALLY AND BEING SO INCREDIBLY DISTANT OF HOW HE WAS BEFORE HIS ATTEMPTED SUICIDE, NOT TO MENTION BEING OFF OF ALL MEDS NOW FOR A WHILE, SIMPLY BECAUSE MY PARENTS PUT A STIGMA IN OUR HEADS ALL THROUGHOUT GROWING UP UNTIL NOW, BEING YOUNG ADULTS OURSELVES, THAT NONE OF US "REALLY NEED TO BE ON ANY MEDICATIONS" AND I KNOW THEY HOLD A BAD STIGMA TOWARDS THEM, EVEN THOUGH I MYSELF, AM ON SOME FOR HAVING SEVERE ANXIETY, followed by depression usually, and, not to mention, severe PTSD=FROM CHILDHOOD, WHICH, I FIND MYSELF NOW AT THE AGE OF 33 STILL LIVING WITH THE SAME EXACT PEOPLE THAT I WAS THROUGHOUT MY CHILDHOOD- I MEAN, THE MERE RAGE OF MY FATHER OR MOTHERS VOICES CAUSE ME TO SHAKE INSIDE/&OUT, LITERALLY; AND THE FACT THAT MY OWN FATHER JUST TOTALLY DISCREDITS WHATEVER I SAY, & ACTUALLY HAD THE NERVE TO LAUGH AT THE FACT WHEN I WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO HIM HOW I HAVE BEEN DIAGNOSED NUMEROUS TIMES SINCE EARLY 20's of having PTSD, which made me feel all that more bad and lower about myself- and they already know that I have lower self esteem than I used to since everything I went though while growing up in addition to being in verbally & physically abusive relationships. Now, few months later/after "brothers suicide attempt" =the 3 of them, MOTHER, FATHER, & BROTHER ARE ACTING BEYOND STRANGE AND FULL OF ANGER TOWARDS ME AND ME ONLY...PUTTING ALL OF THE BLAME ON ME IN REGARDS TO JUST ABOUT EVERY SINGLE "PROBLEM" THEY HAVE HAD IN THE PAST OR CURRENT LIFE= WHICH JUST HEIGHTENS MY ANXIETY&PTSD AND FILLS ME WITH CONFUSION THAT I BECOME VERY DEPRESSED- NOT TO MENTION MY BROTHER DOES NOT SEEK OUT ANY HELP OR TALK THERAPY LIKE I PERSONALLY FEEL HE SHOULD BE AFTER A TRAUMATIC INCIDENT LIKE THAT; BUT INSTEAD I TRULY FEEL AND HAVE A GUT FEELING AS THO HE JUST BLAMES ME FOR CALLING 911 WHO CHOSE TO BAKER ACT HIM THAT VERY DAY/TIME, IN ORDER TO SAVE HIS LIFE! MY PARENTS NOR BROTHER NEVER EVEN THANKED ME, WHICH I AM OKAY WITH=NOT LOOKING FOR PRAISE HERE, JUST SOME UNDERSTANDING OF WTF IS GOING ON AND WHY JUST WHY THEY ARE NOW BEING VERBALLY ABUSIVE TOWARDS ME=WHICH IS NOTHING NEW, YET THEY WONDER "WHY I HAVE ALWAYS CHOSEN THOSE SCUM BAG ABUSIVE BOYFRIENDS AND RELATIONSHIPS I GOT MYSELF INTO IN THE PAST/ETC/ETC/ETC." PLEASE, ANYONE WHO HAPPENS TO HAVE ANY SORT OF ADVICE, OPINIONS ON THIS MATTER, AND OR WOULD BE SO KIND AS TO OFFER ME ANY TYPE OF HELP (BEING THAT MY DR SUGGESTED I STAY WITH A FRIEND UNTIL I AM FINANCIALLY STABLE ENOUGH TO LIVE ON MY OWN, FOR MY OWN SAFETY PURPOSES & TO PROTECT MY OWN LIFE FOR GOODNESS SAKES=WHICH OF COURSE MY MOTHER JUST LAUGHS AT AND GETS ENRAGED THEN FULL OF RAGE BUT ONLY TOWARDS ME, WHICH ONLY PROVOKES MY PTSD, AND SHE CONTINUOUSLY SAYS TO ME, "OH JAMIE YOU JUST HAVE TO GET OVER THIS...I MEAN, SNAP YOURSELF OUT OF IT, YOU NEED TO LET THIS GO!" -EVEN ABOUT 2 WEEKS AFTER THE "INCIDENT"(MY BROTHER, WHO IS 40YRS OLD, 8 YRS OLDER THAN ME, ATTEMPTED SUICIDE)- I APPRECIATE ANY AND ALL OF YOU WHO MIGHT BE SO KIND AS TO NOT ONLY READ THIS POST, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY OFFER ME ANY TYPE OF FEEDBACK... ANY, in regards to "what to do" from here.....
Hi Jamie, I'm sorry to hear you are in this situation. It sounds very, very hard. I have to agree with your doctor -- you absolutely must get out of that environment NOW. You should stay with someone until you are financially stable yourself. You should also look into therapy for yourself as you are going to need to process all that you have been through. Also, there are helplines you can call that may have further suggestions: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
In short, get space. You need it.
- Natasha Tracy
I tried to kill myself. It did not go as planned and instead of hiding in the woods where no one would find me to save me i did it at home in a locked bathroom. My husband found me and too me to er. When i was unconsciuos after finding me he was rude and saying mean things and being rough with me after he went and got the kids to see me. He trashed talked me the whole time until he dropped me off at hospital. The kids told me all this later. When i came to in the intensive care my husband walked in belittled me asked me how i feel now that i lost my husband and children and i have no place to come home to and calling me names. He left me at the hospital for days without ever once saying sorry or that he cared or that he would be there by my side. This happened in april of this year and i am currently home with family but i think about this everyday its driving me crazy and sad. What do i do? Any advice
I have not had an experience like this but its a really sad situation. you advice on how to handle it is very useful.
My boyfriend attempted suicide last night. And I witnessed the whole thing. I was outside talking to him trying to calm him down because he was angry over something and upset, and the next thing I know [he attempted suicide. He didn't succeed] I am so thankful he is still here. He was just transported to an inpatient facility for treatment. But witnessing that and going thru this has me on an emotional rollercoaster of anxiety, hurt and just tears flowing. One minute I'm semi ok and the next I'm hysterical. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even think. I didn't know what to even do with myself all day today. I know I'm going to need some counseling, what happened just keeps replaying in my head. And I wish I could just be with him and hold him. I don't know what to do, I've never experienced this before. It's horrible ?
My boyfriend called me about 2 hrs ago staring hes killing himself because I ended our relationship. He attempted before. He's currently at the ER (I'm out of state and couldn't do much, but I let his brother know. While medics were on their way he decided he was gonna run from them. He had taken a bunch of sleeping pills and because of that he couldn't run anymore. He has not been a good boyfriend , he has a drinking problem. Now I'm having to deal with these emotions. While he was running he would text me "I love you". It's not a healthy relationship by any means. But, I feel lost and confused. What do I do? Do I continue to support him??? My family hates him and I can't talk to them about it. I've been told by then "good, hope he dies". He's had a VERY rough life. In and out of prison, drugs, alcohol, but that was before I met him. He really was trying. Please help, do I just give up on him and hope he gets the help he needs?? Do I ignore my family (which he has hurt very bad) and be there for him? I'm so confused and hurt. ??
I am actually with this same exact thing and in need of help as well I'm hurt scared and i love him but our relationship is no where near healthy
I feel just like you two helpless, guilty. I didn't go to the hospital this time, because I'm in my own feelings and that won't help him. Our relationship is not healthy. I Love him, but mentally exhausted. Any advice?
It is extremely difficult to walk away from someone you care about. Unhealthy relationships are even harder. There will be a lot of guilt and manipulation thrown your way. Having gone through this myself, I would suggest the following: send one LAST text stating he needs to get help. Maybe give him a couple phone numbers to call to get the help. You, however, are not able to help him.
You have healing you need to work on as well. Unhealthy relationships can do more damage than we sometimes realize. For you to move forward with your life and have a successful and HEALTHY relationship, take a look at this last relationship and find the reasons why it was unhealthy, what you did to contribute to making it unhealthy (enabling, temper, drugs,etc.) and then work on correcting them. Get help in correcting these things so the next time you find someone that is healthy you will be ready for them. Also, the next time you meet someone who is unhealthy you will be able to identify it quickly, get out of it, and move on with your life in a healthy, happy life.
Confused, I'm in my own feelings,how can I help him. Don't want to say the wrong things.
Hi Toni,
I can understand not wanting to say the wrong thing. People with a mental illness want support -- just like everyone else. You may want to read this about what you should say; https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2010/10/supporting-the-mentally-ill-be…
- Natasha Tracy
Thank you so much for the information. Seventeen years ago I felt suicidal and was abandoned by everyone. After all of this I haven't forgiven myself. Yet no one knew what to do. My daughter does not talk to me. She is bitter and angry. Woman. Her grandmother is 90 and in poor health. I did write to my daughter "shame on you!" I realized she is trying to.keep herself safe what she is doing is unacceptable. I am done giving her money and begging for forgiveness. I hope this will help others
My adult son has bi-polar depression & tried to commit suicide about two weeks ago. This is the second time since February. He had a substance abuse issue prior to his first attempt. His dad whom my son was living with in February was able to get him into treatment. My son was living in a group home & getting counseling,etc. How do I explain to his dad who doesn't seem to understand that my son has a mental illness & the suicide attempts aren't for attention but a cry for help. His dad has cut him off & feels that it's my son's fault for a ruined relationship.
Hi Martha,
That's a really tough situation. It's hard for all parties after a suicide attempt. I think, likely, what his dad needs is education about mental illness and suicidality.
I've written a book about bipolar disorder and it has a chapter on suicide in it. You can find it here: https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Marbles-Insights-Depression-Bipolar/dp/1539409147/ref=sr_1_1?… It is not associated with HealthyPlace.
If that's not a fit, then maybe do research (just like you're doing) and print off what makes the most sense for your situation and give it to his dad. His dad could also see a counselor to learn more or get in contact with a local mental health group like NAMI (just Google them) and see what resources are available there, too. There are often support groups around suicide and they can be invaluable.
And while education is critical, so is time. We don't all come to the same conclusion all at once. It hasn't been very long and he may need time to digest such tough information. I know that's not helpful to his son, but sometimes people just need time.
I hope that helps.
- Natasha Tracy
I tried twice last year to kill myself and my dad now thinks I’m crazy and our relationship has been forever changed. What do I do? I feel more isolated and alone every day.
Hi Gabby,
I'm so sorry to hear you have attempted twice and that your relationship has been altered. This certainly can happen after a suicide attempt, but not all is lost. I find that the more people understand about mental illness and suicide, the better things get. While it's great that you're here reading this article, it's really your dad that needs to do that. Can you help him learn more? There are books and website dedicated to helping educate people who may not know enough about mental illness and suicide.
Also, you may want to look into counseling so that both you and your dad have a safe and understanding place to express your feelings -- no doubt, you have many things to say and so does he. A therapist can help you work these things out and fix your relationship.
Also, remember that sometimes it takes a long time for people to process such difficult events. Some people take longer than others.
Good luck.
- Natasha Tracy
My wife of one month tried to commit suicide. We have been in arguments/fights/disagreements. This one didn't seem much different. I can say some nasty things. I feel extreme guilt. We had our first marriage counseling appointment scheduled for four days after she attempted. I suggested that morning that we stay separate until the appointment. She went on to say that it was too late and that she was going "home" I called 911 and they found her alive in the car in the garage. I've heard nothing from her or the hospital. I'm likely being associated as a verbal abuser. We both knew our own setbacks, but I didn't mean the things I said and certainly didn't realize the impact of them. She has also been having issues with her three daughters (14,17,22). What am I to do?
We ALL feel pain. The pain that people who attempt suicide feel is not unique to them.
It’s how they DEAL WITH IT that’s different.
My beloved daughter, I couldn’t love her more than I do, is attempting suicide on a regular basis. I have to deal with this, prepare myself for the end and the devastation it will bring to not only me but her father and brothers as well.
We can’t chuck the towel in because life has thrown us a few curved balls. We will have to carry on hurting for the rest of our lives.
Yes yes yes yes yes! there is a selfishness in suicide. People so consumed with their own pain that they think they feel things differently to others, a heightened intensity of some kind.
I couldn’t feel more pain than I do at this minute in time, preparing myself for my beautiful 22 year old daughter’s death.
I am not going to kill myself when it happens, I can’t because other people love and depend on me. I will just hurt for the rest of my life and hope that God takes me sooner rather than later. The pain that her father will feel will be like a knife twisting in my heart to witness, her brothers will never enjoy life again.
Suicide is the ultimate act of selfishness, remember that all you suicidal people out there
Rose, I understand your passion in these beliefs and I recognize that as I am not a mother, I can't understand the consuming agony you must feel at watching your daughter make attempts on the life you have worked so hard to protect and prolong. However, I would like to remind you that although we all feel pain, the fact of the matter is that not all of us feel the same pain. While one person could be treading water out in the open ocean hundreds of feet deep for hours before drowning, there are some people born "negatively bouyant," meaning that there is something about how they are made that prevents them from being able to float. For some, it is so severe that they could drown in just 7 feet of water after only a few minutes, even if they have been coached ad nauseam to swim. They're both immersed in water, they face the same potential end- one is even in significantly more danger than the other. In spite of this, one of them has been made against their will so that even the "smaller" danger is much more significant to them than to others. Imagine for a second- really imagine- that you were born with very severe negative bouyancy. You tried to learn to swim at a very young age but something stopped you and you had a brush with death. Since then, as you've grown up, you have tried multiple times to learn to swim again, each to no avail. Many people think you're just not trying hard enough. Some say you're not doing it right. People don't believe you- "my wife had trouble floating when she was younger but she got a coach and now she swims just fine," etc., because not many people understand the concept of the condition you have. Your family still thinks you're just doing something wrong. They think you just need to try harder and deal with swimming differently. They want to go to the pool and all go for a swim and you protest but they say you're being selfish, that everyone gets tired after swimming for a while. You just have to learn to deal with it. So you go to the pool with them but when you get there your family doesn't understand why you can't go where the water is above your head. They don't understand that the water is all-consuming to you. It weighs you down and slows your movements with a weight that they don't experience. Their fun day out at the pool is a battle for your life. They play in the deep end, splashing around, and you watch them, waist-deep, wishing you could join in. Sometimes one of them will get a little tired and swim back to the shallow end and sit next to you, but they go back out to tread water again and tell you that you should really have learned to swim by now as they leave you alone again. See what I mean? Incidentally, when I was younger and my suicidality was based in different reasoning, hearing people say that suicide was selfish only made me want to kill myself more. If the pain I was experiencing was bringing other people down, I should get out of their lives. I was not in a place where I could understand that my parents were scared for my life. I could barely get out of bed. Nothing was enjoyable anymore, food didn't taste the same, I couldn't stay awake during the day and was plagued with nightmares all night. This started when I was 12 years old. I was lost, plagued by a disease (I have bipolar disorder, which is largely genetic, before anyone suggests it just developed and could go away if I tried harder) that nobody around me understood, and I was terrified. I was running every which way trying to find help and every day becoming more and more beaten down because nobody around me could answer. I didn't get the chance to have a childhood. There was no way for me to get out of my neurosis (and eventual psychosis) enough to see that it would hurt people around me if I died. All I believed I was was a burden. When someone said I was being selfish, that reinforced my belief. Yes, everyone experiences pain. But the pain that people who attempt suicide experience is actually very different from those who do not. Your family's day at the country club might be a potential death sentence to you. Care to go for a swim?
Tonight, my husband of 10 years attempted suicide. I can't sleep. He tried to [moderated] in our garage. I found him [moderated] ... he was flailing uncontrollably. [moderated] He went into convulsions the moment he was free. I was hysterical and kept saying over and over "what are you doing!!!" Between sobs. I called 911 immediately after realizing he want lucid. They came and got him along with the paramedics. He's now in the hospital.
In between all of this our 2 year old son was laying on the couch with his bottle before bed. he didn't witness anything. But after I got my husband down, I had to keep running back and forth between the two while on the phone with 911. I was shaking uncontrollably and in shock.
I still am in shock. i have no family close to me and no friends where I live. I have called the hospital to confirm he's ok. he is. i will visit tomorrow.
I try to sleep but the events keep playing over and over in my head like some surreal out of body experience. I'm going to have to seek counseling for myself, my husband and our marriage.
Moderator: This story is important but specific details of the method were removed for public safety.
Hi Lily,
I'm so sorry you're experiencing that. I can't image what that must have been like for you. You have my very best thoughts and wishes getting through this difficult time.
I just wanted to say that you said exactly the right thing: you, your husband and your marriage all need help at this point. Make sure you get that help. And remember, many people have been through this. You are not alone. Check out this resource: https://afsp.org/find-support/ive-lost-someone/
- Natasha Tracy
Hi Lily,
Just wanted to let you know that I’m here if you need anything. I just went through a similar experience and though it was painful I’m really grateful for it because it taught me so much. I’m grateful to be alive and I’m sure your husband is too ❤️
9/14/21 dad here, 03:22 South Louisiana time ,sitting with our 3yr son sleeping peacefully,&6yr old daughter tossing and turning has gotten up 5-6? Times to item asking where I my sissy ??? What do I say people? The truth ? " your 12yr old big sissy is in icu at lgmc hospital but don't worry momie just called they restarted her heart & now she has a normal sinus rhythm,( what the hell is that? ) but she hasn't woke up yet, what !!!!how do u know that word ? Oh u heard the policeman say suicide last week when the ambulance took here away( u heard rt the "professionals" at th mh unit sayed she is good as new ) bad news baby sissy ate a whole bottle of her pills and she won't wake up, idk if she will my baby , u might ask mywhat I'm doing at home ? The all knowing all seeing gov of Louisiana has hear by decreed that only 1 parent of a dying child may watch the dr perform code protocol, on my baby, people help me what do I do ,im a tough ,work all day love my momma love Jesus, I say mam and please, I still open the truck door for my bride, I take off my hat when I go in a building, I wear a real leather belt ,(so my britches don't sag) and my kids use their manners, I had to shoot my ole dog last week he had enough ( I don't pay $100 for sum fancy boy to shoot poison in my dog ) you may think I'm an idiot ,but I'm the guy to run down the punk who stole the old lady's purse, (yea I make it my business) I will pull over in a driving rain storm to help change a flat , but people for the life of me I don't know how to explain to my baby why her big sissy tried to kill herself tonight , for one I can't stop crying long enough to get 2 words put together, please pray for my baby her name is bailey and she is beautiful, God help us