Interesting post. My relationship with bipolar disorder went through a long arc - from mere survival - to battle - to supremacy - to mastery. After many long years I knew I had beaten it, it no longer defined me. At that point I felt 10 feet tall and bulletproof - I knew there was nothing left life could throw at me I couldn't take. - That was right when I almost killed myself in a car accident and realized I was an alcoholic - and a whole new recovery adventure began. -- Even for survivors like us, it never pays to get too comfortable.

Natasha:
Thank you for this post; it brought tears (good tears) to my eyes. It is only recently that I have begun to fully appreciate the lessons manic-depression has laid before me. As you wrote, the mere fact that I have not only survived this illness but have (I think) the resilience to continue to do so, is an achievement. And I'm proud of it.
I have been reading your blogs for quite a while and wanted to thank you for your work. Reading your posts and the reader replies helps to remind me that I am not alone in this struggle.
Take care.
Eric

Hi Alistair,
I would never claim mastery, personally as yes, you never know what the disease (or life) will throw at you. So yes, I agree, comfort is a luxury we can't really afford.
- Natasha

Hi Eric,
Thank-you for your kind words. My writings should come with tissues. :)
I'm glad you realize you're not alone. None of us are.
- Natasha

Another amazing post. It couldn't have come at a better time too. I've been working on getting rid of the shame I've carried around since my symptoms started... the hospital stay didn't help the shame thing much. I know now that I should not feel shame about it, and the fact that I actually survived and that some others do not... that's an accomplishment in itself. I've discovered that I'm living with this, not suffering from it (of course there is suffering, but I'm still alive).

Hi Ash,
That's great. Any way to get rid of shame is OK by me. I know I felt a lot of shame about ending up in the hospital - but like you said, there is no reason to. You are surviving. Good for you. :)
- Natasha

[...] are resilient. We are the sum of our challenges and accomplishments. It is true that I have been in physical pain [...]

Natasha,
Beautifully written. Thankyou for sharing.
Louise

I'm writing to this website because I am 100% sure my daughter has mental illness as well deep depression. I get scared when she starts yelling at something that's not there. At least I don't see it. She and I believe she has a bad spirit with her and she exhibits behavior that would only happen spiritually. She is 27 and lives with me only if she keeps herself controlled, cause her Manics get loud. I'm always the bad person that I'm hiding something from her. I'm lost and unsure how to convince her to go to mental health
And if they can't stop the voices than well try an excorcism but she has way high, highs and deeper deep lows. Can someone help me help her go to get help.
Thanks lb262

Hi Loretta,
You're in a really tough spot as is your daughter. I recommend you read this article that talks about not recognizing your own mental illness: http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2012/10/handling-anosognosia-neurologic…
And then this article that talks about how to convince someone to get help:
http://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/breakingbipolar/2010/09/how-do-i-convince-my-friend-to-…
I hope that helps.
- Natasha

This illness is sucking the life out of me. I get so tired of having the suicidal thoughts. They wear me out, both emotionally and physically. The meds probably help some, but the symptoms are still there. It's no fun waking up in the mornings all amped up and then hours later you started having those thoughts about killing yourself. I hide my moods from my family, because I don't want them to get tired of me or worry. I'm going back to my doctor this week and will be asking him to try something different with my meds. On top of the bipolar I have A.D.D. Sometimes it seems hopeless.

It gets so bad sometimes. I know it will get getter if I just hold on for one more day, two more d'ays, maybe just one more hour. Drinking and drugs, sleep deprivation, hours upon hours of working without taking a break. writing, painting, sculpting...It's getting harder and harder to avoid a bad situation. I've been bipolar for 40 years. I'm so sick of this. it takes too much energy to stay between the lines. Is there hope? are there new drugs? I need something. The three Ls are not working anymore. Please I need some new toold to manage my desease. thank you.

The definition of resilience...
an ability to recover from or adjust "easily' to misfortune or change
I believe creating resilience to life's ups and downs is the essential key to unlocking the door to a better life and surviving or even thriving inspite of this damn disease
Make no mistake, NOTHING is EASY about having this dis-ease but it's been my goal for quite some time to research and create better coping skills and strategies for me in dealing with this disease and life in general. I keep hoping that if I don't give up it will become 'easier' over time.
Reading all the bipolar blogs on this website helps to feel less alone in my experience with this disease but it would also be more helpful to learn about the COPING skills and strategies employed by others that seem to be working for them