The root causes of self-harm are as varied as the people who are affected by it. Though self-harm is a problem in and of itself, it is often a response to an underlying stressor of some kind. The reason behind the stress is the cause of self-harm.

You would think that the reasons to recover from self-harm would be obvious. In a way, they are. You would also think that those who currently suffer from self-harm tendencies would recognize these reasons and use them to motivate their recovery. In a way, they do. But that is the thing about mental illness: no one chooses to be sick. Rationale tells us that the drawbacks of self-harm far outweigh the benefits but our sick brains tell us otherwise. The trick is to access and strengthen our rationale — that is, the healthy part of our brains that still exists somewhere inside of us — to do what we know we need to do (Mental Illness Isn't a Choice, But You Still Have Choices). Finding reasons to recover from self-harm is part of the process.

I have been in self-harm recovery for the past 10 years, but I didn't always know how to recognize self-harm triggers. When I was a teenager, I went to therapy to help me get over my self-harm addiction. One day, my therapist asked me “Why do you think you self-harm?” Until that moment I never really thought about the reasons behind why I self-harm. I always just thought it was the way I coped with different situations in my life. We started to brainstorm some situations, people, and events that trigger my self-harm urges. It’s beneficial to recognize self-harm triggers so you can find healthier coping skills to handle your stress.

Starting new psychiatric medication can affect self-injurious behavior. Starting when I was in my early teens, I was given many different combinations of medications to take for my mental illness. The medication side effects ranged from hives to hallucinations. The worst part about taking a different pill every couple of months was the uncertainty of how it was going to affect my mood. Most of the medications simply failed to make me better, but a few had severe adverse effects on my mood and overall health that were impossible to ignore. As a self-harmer, handling the stress and mood changes that comes along with new medications is vital to recovery. In short, you need to know the effects that new psychiatric medication may have on your self-harming.

When I was working at a residence for youth with mental illness, every day was a struggle. Not only were the youth struggling to stop their negative behaviors, but I, too, was learning to push away my past and work on helping the future of others by using past experience. We would often focus on coping skills that were necessary to move past these urges. Yes, I know I talk about coping skills like a broken record, but once you know the positive ways to redirect yourself, it becomes a little easier to sway away from the sharp objects around you. We always hear about the common coping skills: listening to music, going for a walk or writing in a journal. However, one coping skill that has always stuck out in my mind is self-talk.

When you feel the need to self-injure, it takes a lot of self-control to push away the emotions and temptations connected to those urges. When you’re angry or upset and you turn to cutting or burning, your mind focuses on that mark and it is difficult to see anything else clearly. Sometimes, all you need to prevent self-harm urges is a few minutes with a pet.

I’ve always been cursed with really painful headaches and occasional dizziness. Typically, I try to push through the pain. However, recently I experienced the worst dizzy spell of my life, which sent me to the doctors. My whole body felt disoriented and my eyes were constantly in and out of focus. I felt nauseous and everything around me would not stop spinning, even when I closed my eyes. This dreadful feeling reminded me of how our minds feel when we are trying to tell ourselves not to self-harm – our thoughts keep on spinning and twisting and all it leads to is pain.

When it comes to counseling and therapy, almost everyone feels anxiety. Before stepping into an office for the first time, you feel unsure and stressed. Some people don’t think they need to be going to therapy and feel forced. Some people don’t believe that therapy will help and that it is simply a waste of time. Sometimes, it takes numerous sessions before any kind of opening up happens. One thing that is concrete about therapy is that it never hurts to try.

I’ve never been a huge fan of running or lifting or going to a gym. For me, it takes a lot, and I mean a lot, of motivation to get my butt out of bed to work out for an hour. My family, on the other hand, almost obsesses with working out. Half of my relatives are P.E. teachers or Physical Therapists and have raced in half or full marathons. Many are now into CrossFit, which scares the living crap out of me. During high school, when I was struggling with self-harm, I was a serious dancer. I went to a strict ballet school, which kept me busy almost every night of the week. It was good, staying fit and pushing my focus onto something else. However, when dancing I could not wear bracelets and no matter how much make-up I put on my scars, the sweat would eat it away. Then, questions would be asked and lies would be spit out.