When Your Teen is Admitted to a Psychiatric Hospital
It took four hours to admit my 15-year-old son, Bob, to the psychiatric hospital for suicidal ideation. It had been a long stressful day since Bob told his therapist he almost killed himself the night before. She had made Bob sign a safety contract then released him to me. I tried to keep him busy and distracted, but by late afternoon he could fight no more. Bob asked me to take him to the hospital.
The admission process was painfully slow. Several people asked Bob the same, endless questions. Each time Bob answered them my heart clenched.
Finally, they gave him a gown and took him away.
My husband, Bill, and I returned to the hospital with some of Bob's belongings. It was 10:00 p.m. and I felt a small sense of relief. My son was alive and safe for now.
"Why are you crying?" I asked Bill. It had been a horrifying and hectic day, but sadness was not what I was feeling.
"I didn't realize how sick he is."
I did. Bob had showed signs of depression in second grade. He tried antidepressant medication in sixth grade, then was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. At the beginning of ninth grade, I brought Bob to this exact hospital because he became violent, but he was not admitted.
Everything had been leading up to this moment. While my spouse had always been supportive, it took this hospitalization for him to fully understand. Our son has a serious mental illness and it was not going away.
Mental Hospitals Provide Safety and Structure for Patients
The next week was a blur. We were allowed to speak to our son on the phone for 10 minutes, twice a day. We could visit for two hours each evening.
Visiting our son felt like visiting a high security prison:
- Only immediate family members were allowed.
- No more than two visitors at a time were permitted.
- All visitors were searched.
- No outside food, unless earned was allowed.
- No candy or treats were permitted.
- No contraband (straws, staples, drawstrings) were allowed.
Each night we sat with Bob in a large, barren room. He was inattentive and sometimes hostile, mostly towards me. It was excruciating to sit with him.
Hospital Staff Guide Parents of Mentally Ill Children
We met with Dr. Clark mid-week. She blasted information, directions and statistics at us. She explained Bob would be at high risk for suicide after his release from the hospital. Therefore, she ordered eyes-on-supervision 24/7 for 30 days. There would be no electronics and no contact with Bob's girlfriend. She described suicide contagion. She told us 80% of marriages fail after a child's suicide.
As we left the meeting, we saw Bob exercising with a group in the visitation room. He looked like a zombie as he swayed back and forth, arms outstretched, eyes vacant.
My next door neighbor came over to help me make the house safe, a job I couldn't do alone. We started with the obvious harmful objects. Soon I became crazed suggesting every household item could be dangerous. My friend talked me down, but it wasn't easy.
Another friend came by over the weekend to help redecorate Bob's room. She skillfully displayed Bob's memorabilia on the walls. I arranged the many cards and gifts that arrived.
Bob was released after eight days inpatient. When we got to the house, he saw the balloons on the mailbox. We stopped to take pictures with his little sister. When he saw his room and all his personal items on display, he cried. Though the battle wasn't over, my son was home.
APA Reference
Halli, C.
(2014, November 23). When Your Teen is Admitted to a Psychiatric Hospital, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, May 5 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/parentingchildwithmentalillness/2014/11/what-to-expect-when-your-teen-is-admitted-to-the-psychiatric-hospital
Author: Christina Halli
You are such a strong person for asking for help! I truly commend you for your courage.I wish my son would have done the same.
Instead, I have had to take him to the hospital multiple times for cutting, drug abuse, suicide attempts, etc. I even had to give him CPR
to save his life once and that moment has changed me as a mother and as a person forever.I will never be the same person I was before that day.
You have been through so much and you are still so young. You do have a bright future, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Please do it. As a mother, I wish my son would have asked me. I would do anything for my children. I would help them any way I could. All they have to do is tell me. Talk to me. Ask me. Something other than hurting themselves.
You have already shown courage by coming here and asking for advice. I wish you the best and I want you to know that help is out there. It may take time, but the right person or place is there to get you the help you need.
Angelina, have you googled your local chapter of NAMI - the National Association for Mental Illness. They have peer groups, workshops, etc. that you will most likely find helpful.
I have found this website in my search for help and support. My son is 16,almost 17,and is in a residential treatment facility for mental health. He is being treated for depression anger management and borderline personality disorder. He has expressed suicidal ideation, has cut in the past and has expressed homicidal ideation against myself his stepfather and others. His birth father exposed him to drugs and alcohol among other things when he was 13 to 16, until we found out about it and got full legal custody of him. He was supposed to come home from the residential treatment facility this past August but lied and manipulated to get his own way. He does not want to adhere to the rules we have at home , was upset that we would not let him go back to the high school he was going to( where he hang out hung out with a group of kids that cut). We had opted to send him to a smaller Charter School that would be familiar with his needs. Of course now he wants to live with his father where there are no rules and expectations and no support for his mental health treatment. The medication and treatment and counseling does not seem to be helping. The therapist recommended contacting Child Services because he won't be able to stay there much longer and he cannot return to our home out of fear and safety issues. I don't want to give up my rights as a parent but I want him to get the help he needs even if it means he is not here at home. You have expressed our desire for him to be able to control his mental illness, function as a member of society, go to school, find a job etc and he wants nothing to do with that. He has had mental health issues for most of his life but they really became evident after his father and I divorced and he was exposed to drugs and alcohol. His stepfather and I don't know where to turn or what to do. This is one of the hardest things as a parent I have had to face. I have been in touch with our local Mental Health Association and plan on going to a support group soon. It is good to know unfortunately that there are others out there struggling with the same issue.
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Thanks foe the article. I've just experienced and am still in total shock.
Thank you for the article. Would it be wise to let my daughter remain in contact with other people she met while in the hospital?
it might not be if that person also has overwhelming issues that may influence your daughter's already volatile situation. when my daughter went to a day program, they were against it
Thank you for providing some hopeful information. Our son went in today and our heads are spinning. Thank you again.
Had to leave my son last night. The look on his face was devastating. I'll never get over it. I was supposed to help him and I couldn't;(
Hi Donna, This is Susan Traugh, another blogger on HealthyPlace. I remember the first time I had to leave my daughter. Two attendants were restraining her while she screamed, "Mommy, please, please don't leave me!" It was a knife in my heart...even ten years later. But, I know it was the right thing to do. Years later, my daughter and I talked about it. Her reply summed up this whole impossible situation when she said, "It was the worst thing that ever happened to me--that totally saved my life." Remember, you DID help him. You just called in the cavalry.
Hi Charles, I'm Susan Traugh, another blogger on HealthyPlace and the mom of two daughters with bipolar who have both been hospitalized on more than one occasion. I'm glad you found this post helpful and believe that your hopefulness is well-placed. I wish you and your son the best of luck on this journey.
Thankyou for sharing your story. I am at a loss right now what to do for my daughter. She is 22 I am her guardian because she has a learning disability. She is so angry lately good days then more bad days. This has been going on since she was 17. I have tried counseling no luck. Then at one point I called a helpline and they did not feel it was necessary for her to be in a hospital. Hmmm really looking around my messed up living room. I have no help with this. I feel like a prisoner I have no future
My son was admitted this week and your experience could have been verbatim if mine. My son is still in hospital and it has made me realize the reality of the situation. I just couldn't see it until now. It's been a very painful road. But I'm grateful that he was admitted and nervous about when he is released. Thanks for your blog!
For me, Patty Ann, realizing my daughters' reality for a major step in getting help. Denial is such a seductive place to go. But, as difficult as it is to face the hard truth, it was my first step to freedom and hope.
I let go and let god. I really believe that the only way the creator can help you is if you put your whole trust in him! I've never been so afraid before because I don't know what will happen. I tend to
Think the worst. Drugs and alcohol I dispise and hate, but my daughter chooses to have it. I ask creator what do I do please show me and guide me. Protect her
Hi Momma Bear, This is Susan Traugh, another blogger on HealthyPlace.com. I'm sorry to hear about your daughter and understand your fear. My daughters have been admitted several times and it can be heart-wrenching for parents to separate from their child. Do you have support for yourself? For your daughter? If you do not already have a support system, I urge you to go to the Resources here and make some calls. And, I wish the best to you and your daughter.
My husband and I found letters notes saying my daughter wants to kill herself there was a death threat to me the stepmother I suspect she's bipolar and has Defiance disorder about every 3 months 2 months he has a breakdown she lies steals my things I had to prove to Dad that I wasn't feeling her clothes cuz that's what she was accusing me of but finally after 9 months to a year Dad and I went in her room and we found my clothes hidden so he believed me obviously after that that's really hurt me that he didn't believe me I would steal her quote she's a sofa me and several occasions we had an agreement to take her to the hospital yesterday and he backed out because she threatened to call the police and say we do drugs or whatever she could say she said and now my husband doesn't want to take her to the hospital because he's afraid that they're going to believe her and I tell him do you know how many children probably do this we were going to a children's hospital they see this everyday because they're mad that their parents are admitting them so they falsely accuse you specially at a children's hospital they see this all the time my husband refuses and I'm scared she's going to hurt herself kill herself yesterday he told me you were right we should have took her to the hospital last night all day we had plans on taking her to the hospital we were having his sister talk to her and then him and his sister come up with the plan for outpatient therapy him nor his sister know her like I do with her all the time I know her better than anybody due to the fact that I'm with her all the time her aunt is only seen her 3 times in a year and before that they had no relationship dad works all the time and I'm just that Mom so I can't do anything when I know that she needs immediate help but my husband is afraid that they're going to believe the allegations that she threatened to tell she said she tell him anything she could think of that she's being abused that we're drug addict that we both abuser and we don't take care of her Etc which is all lies and he really thinks that they're going to believe her and I told him so what we're not doing anything so let them come out and investigate but then but he won't take her his sister talked him out of it that he's been estranged from 4 years up until the last year Dayton acted but they've only seen each other twice and she doesn't know my real daughter she knows the fake daughter that's all nicey-nicey fake when she goes to her aunt's house but when she comes home from my aunt's house does nothing but dog our Aunt her cousins all of them I need some advice I would appreciate any advice I'm truly afraid that my daughter is going to commit suicide
I'm falling apart.My 16 year old son is being admitted inpatient Tomorrow morning to a psychiatric hospital and I'm losing it I feel like i can't breathe and the walls are closing in.I have no one to reach out to
Breathe in and breathe out, Anita. It will be okay. I remember the first time I admitted my daughter--it was horrible. I was terrified for my child, felt like a terrible parent, felt like my world was coming to an end. I know this is hard on you. But, you son will be safe. He will be in good hands. Professionals will be able to look at his situation and provide the medicine and therapy he needs to begin to give him his life back. This is a good thing. You are doing the most responsible thing you can do to help your child. My heart goes out to you as you suffer through the next few days...but, I'm also so proud of you for doing the hard things that we moms of kids with mental illness must do. Know that my thoughts are with you...and good luck to both you and your son.
i want to die im 16 soon to be 17 and im just tired and depressed and feel like im gonna do something dumb one day and i dont want to but it feels like im drowning i talked to my perents about it and they dont really listen they just brush it off and tell me its no big deal and that other people have it worse and i know they do but i just cant take it anymore im just tired.
Oh, Lexi, please do not hurt yourself. HealthyPlace has a resource page of places to help you here: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/suicide/suicide-suicidal-thoughts-and-behaviors-t… One of the easiest numbers to remember is: 1-800-SUICIDE.
Whatever number you choose, I want you to make a phone call right now. Right now. Tell them what's going on with you. Then, show your folks this post you sent. Tell them again what you are thinking. I'd also like you to create and sign a safety contract that promises that you will not hurt yourself, but will seek help when feelings of overwhelm threaten to drown you. https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/parentingchildwithmentalillness/2017/08/create-safety-…
Lexi, life will get better. I promise. Both of my daughters have contemplated suicide and both tell me all the time how grateful they are that they didn't do it. There is help out there for you. Seek it. Or, write back here--I'll be watching for you. You are precious--take care of yourself.
My daughter was just admitted into a facility yesterday and I too feel like the worse parent. What did I do wrong? As a child she was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder, took her to see therapist but therapist was so rude and judgemental my daughter didn't want to go back. I myself ended session early because therapist was upset with my daughter because she would talk. She made no effort in trying to communicate with my daughter. She refused meds. Now we found a great therapist about to begin EMDR but my daughter flipped and now is placed in facility. I'm a hot mess. She was also date rapped about a year ago. Will EMDR work for her and will I have my baby girl back?
All you can do is try! Different types of therapies work for different types of people. It really depends on the skill of the therapist, too. EMDR has worked really well for people with trauma, from what I understand, so I hope things go well for your daughter this time around!
Wish I knew what to do for my 19 year old daughter. She was admitted to the hospital today. Since she is over 18 I don’t get the same information as adolescents. I am at a loss.
It's possible to still be part of her treatment team. If she's taking visitors, or will talk to her over the phone, ask her to sign a release of information. You can call the hospital and ask them to have her fill one out, too. They can always take info from you even if they can't provide you info. It's worth a try. Otherwise, always feel free to talk to your local NAMI. They are very good advocates for families of people with mental illnesses.
I am on her list to receive information and I have gotten some information from them I just feel like I’m not going to be kept up on things. Th hospital she is at is about an hour away. She is in college about an hour and a half a way and that was the closest hospital to the school. She is allowed to make phone calls if she wants and they said the would let her know I called. As for now I guess I just wait. The visitation is on twice during the week and one time each day on Saturday and Sunday. And sorry I do not know what NAMI stands for.
NAMI is the National Alliance on Mental Illness. If you go to the following link, it can connect you to your local chapter:
https://www.nami.org/Find-Support
In general, they are a good resource for families of people with mental illness. My child is only 10, but in my professional life, I have seen how hard it is to connect adult children to their supportive parents. Doctors don't create discharge plans for people with mental illness the way they do for people who've been hospitalized for conditions like cancer or diabetes. Family supports are often happily utilized in those instances, but the stigma of mental illness can really limit how much individuals or providers will allow their family into the mental health recovery process. NAMI has done some work in making psychiatric hospitalizations less traumatic for individuals and their families. It's a hard path, but hopefully that link can provide some good places to start!
I know exactly what you mean my daughter 22 is locked up has severe bruises all over scabs on her face no rights being jabbed with needles I have asked to be more informed but still am not she has declined after being in there for 4 weeks the legal system is a joke more needs to be done for mental health and patience rights this is a living nightmare
My daughter was admitted to adolescents psychiatrist hospital yesterday. I am scared. She just 13 years old. Look like she is one of a few youngest girl there. The scene where she is at scared me to death. She is diagnosed with sucidal ideation. She is depressed with peer pressure, meet expectations, feeling of wanting to be normal like friends because she has learning disability. She is afraid that her friend know of her LD. She wants to get good grades, go to top high school that her friends planning to go. Unfortunately she can't cope with this pressure. She becomes depress and find way to relieve stress by ccutting (scar) her wrists and took any medication she could find in the house. She was admitted in ER on Saturday but release. When she was home, everything was back to normal like went to school. Do sport but she still wrote to her friends that she still wants to self harm and that she got adicted to do hself-harm.
I am not sure I am pleased with our decision to hospitalize her. I know she is safe there, but I worry the medication (sleeping pills they gave and the kids who have different mental illness in the same unit.
I am scared that she will be there for a long time.
We are waiting for hospital psychiatrist to call to tell us which medication she will take!
I am wondering whether we should agree or disagree with medication they want tp give her.
We have to wait for 6pm to visit her.
I know I have to take care of myself (I have hypertension and now it's very high) but I can't help to worry about her. I can't sleep for 6 days.
I feel guilty not knowing this early to help her. I feel scare to have her at home but worry her well-being when she is in hospital. She is so young! Why she has to go through this! Please help me to understand that the hospital is the good place for her safety and she will be home soon. I will do anything to make her happy, safe. Thamks a lot.
I'm so sorry for your suffering, Temmy. I'm Susan Traugh, another author at HealthyPlace.com. Putting my daughter into a psychiatric hospital for the first time felt like cutting off my right arm. I couldn't stop feeling afraid, or that I had failed my child in some way. I remember how terrified I was to leave my child with strangers in a place that felt so overwhelming and scary. But, you did the right thing. Your child will be safe there until they can regulate her meds and come up with a plan. (Chances are she will not stay very long before they want to release her or move her to a different facility.) I will warn you that she will not like the place and try to talk you into taking her out. She is having to confront her illness in a way she probably hasn't done before and it will make her uncomfortable. She will be under strict rules of behavior that she may not like. (But, remember, these rules also apply to all the other patients and will keep your child safe.) Despite the scariness, discomfort and trauma of a hospitalization, I believe it is the first step to wholeness and wellness. Remember, your child is a minor and you are part of her treatment team. If she has a regular psychiatrist, you can call her or him to coordinate care. If not, you may want to bounce things off your pediatrician if that will make you feel more comfortable. Again, this site has resources to check out meds and educate yourself on diagnoses. Education is power. Both of my daughters were hospitalized a number of times for their mental illness. My youngest had to stay in a residential facility for a year. It was one of the worst years of my life. But, it was worth it when my daughter said, "Mom, going to residential was the worst thing that every happened to me--but it changed, and saved, my life and I'm so happy that you did it." That child has graduated a certificate program at college and is working her first job. She is happy and healthy and functioning. She has a nice group of friends. (My other daughter is now working as a preschool teacher.) You and your daughter have a rough patch ahead of you as you work together to get her the help and support she needs to deal with her mental illness. Keep reaching out to places like HealthyPlace. Check out the resources page on this site to find a support group for yourself. I couldn't have made it without other wise women who were going through the same things I was. You are right to know you need to take care of yourself. Don't forget to do that every day. Don't lose hope. You have reached out to find resources for your daughter; you are finding resources for yourself. Keep doing what you're doing. You're on the right track. I'm sending good thoughts for you and your child.
Dear Susan,
Thank you so much for your support and kind words.
My daughter took med and looks happier today.
My husband and I visited her every day .
Please tell me what we should do during the visiting (2hrs) we play cards, talked eat and....don't know what else to say or do. Today I visited her twice , afternoon and evening. In the evening we came for 1.5 hr. After eating, we don't know whatelse to do because she doesn't want to play card any more. And the girls(patient) next to us keeping crying and complaining so I told them to move somewhere else, but no where else to sit. Luckily she said she wanted to take a shower but hesitated to do it because we still were here. I encouraged her to go taking a shower and waited for her.
She looked happier today. Her med side effect is gone ( no more headache) .it looked like the med does the trick, relieve the depression. Gradually she will feel a lot better and will be discharged and resume her normal life?
Thamks everyone for posting your experinses
Hi Temmy,
I'm so glad to hear such good news about your daughter! It sounds like you're all on the right track.
Might I suggest coloring books? (You know, the intricate, adult coloring books that are so popular now?) My girls and I liked them because they let us do something while we talked. We tried to finish a picture together during the visit. I also brought in catalogs so that we could dream aloud about the future we would make together. (Once, when my girl needed a new therapist, I printed out the list with pictures and we "interviewed" each bio to see who we thought would be a good fit.)
But future plans are important. You, your husband, and your daughter will need a plan when she comes out. What can you do to create a support system? What safeguards can be created so you don't end up back in this place again? What dreams can you aspire to so that your daughter has the sense that she is doing something concrete to move her life forward?
You have the luxury of intermission in this life-play. This is a time when you can assess where you're at and make adjustments for the happy ending you are shooting for. You know the pitfalls now. So, now's the time to fortify yourselves and plan so that you don't fall into the same trap again.
For my girls and me, hospital visits were the time for us to dream and plan and assess. Our conversations were gentle and productive. And we usually emerged on the same page about how we were going to keep them out of the hospital again.
Finally, yes, she will gradually resume a normal or new-normal life. Just remember "gradual" is the key word here. You child has been very ill, and like any other organ's illness, her brain will need some time to recuperate.
I wish you all the best on your journey. This might sound weird, but I feel blessed by my girls' mental illness. Over the years we've been able to have a much deeper, more honest and game-free relationship with each other--a relationship that we might have been too-busy or too-distracted to engage in otherwise. My thoughts are with your family that you experience the small blessings of your current experiences.
Hi Temmy,
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I had to admit my 12 very old daughter on 10/6/17. I very much had the same feelings as you. Having my 12 year old admitted into a hospital that was primarily older teenagers was very concerning for me. But, there was nothing I could do, and I just had to trust the process.
Hearing that my daughter was planning on suicide broke me. She was admitted to the Mental Health hospital for 5 days. We were only allowed to visit her for 30 minutes in the evening. The hospital was 2.5 hours away from where we live, but my husband and I made the drive there every night.
I knew my daughter was struggling but I was unable to see how badly. She has always been an amazingly bright person who lights up every room. Seeing her light dim has been extremely difficult. We opted to put her on Lexapro, and so far it has been good.
I myself have struggled with pretty significant depression and anxiety, and I am definitely struggling right now. I am trying to keep moving forward with "normal life" however, I can feel myself slipping closer and closer into depression. I begin my own therapy next week, and as a family we begin therapy as well.
Just know that you are not alone.
Xoxo- Jess
Dear Jess,
I so appreciate you reaching out to Temmy on this site. Especially when we are immersed in the daunting struggles of our children's mental illness, we can feel so alone and isolated. It can feel life-saving to hear from others who are walking a similar path.
I'm so sorry to hear about your daughter. Our desire to protect our children is great and being so far away from your child can be heartbreaking. I'm not surprised to hear that you are struggling with depression and anxiety yourself. I know whenever I put one of my girls into the hospital depression sits on my shoulder. However, I'm glad to hear that you are beginning therapy next week. We mamas have to make sure we get the support we need also.
I wish you the best in your journey and, again, thank you for reaching out.
Hello, I am currently breaking down as typing this...my 15 year old daughter has been diagnosed with depression )her biological father committed suicide and her adoptive father was blown up in a chemical plant explosion, although and by the grace of God he survived our world was turned upside down.) My daughter started getting into trouble only to come out and say she was depressed, she mentioned last night and again today thoughts of cutting herself but that she didn't want to do it. Her psychiatrist says it's pretty much up to us whether to admit or not; at first he thought she was trying to guilt and manipulate me when she got in trouble but he became more concerned that my fear of losing her or her hurting herself is going f to send me into a nervous breakdown; I can barely function now due to the paralyzingly anxiety and fear so he suggested it may be best to admit her in the morning. She is begging not to go (last night she actually agreed to go to the ER after admitting a supposed one time only thought of cutting, we went and were discharged with a "follow up with her psych. she should be ok". I don't know what to do; I am literally having heart complications (I have two heart conditions) from the fear, anxiety, terror, and heartbreak for my child- I cannot lose her; losin her bio dad nearly killed me! But how do I know what is best? Once she calmed down after getting busted doing something she was grounded from she was fine asand saying she never ways to do anything g to hurt us or cause us pain but she feels like a failure because she keeps getting in trouble and doesn't like disappointing us- her 8 year old little sister with PTSD, Anxiety disorder, Panic disorder, adjustment disorder, and separation anxiety had a breakdown tonight and said she could not live without her sister and just cried and held onto and hugged her big sister for dear life. What do I do??! She swears she doesn't want to die at all; she doesn't WANT to hurt herself but she felt the disappointment she caused us was so painful for her she thought maybe she should be punished. She said this one and only time was 3 weeks ago but again, tonight when she got caught she made the comment "I should have just done it, should have just hurt myself". What do I do, how do I keep both my kids healthy and safe, how do I know if she seriously wants (or wanted) to hurt herself on impulse or is she just trying to manipulate me into feeling bad when she gets caught? How do I make the choice to continue medication and therapy for the time being or admit her in the morning? She has been on 10mg Lexapro for approx. 6 weeks and it was increased to 15mg by her psychiatrist today after the ET follow up from last night and then tonight was when the new "event" took place. Is this even enough time for the original dose to be I bher system? I know I am all over the place; I apologize. I am a scared basket case whom doesn't even know where to begin or end with this comment/search for advice; I am a basket saw who has not slept in 48 hours watching every move she makes out of pure fear. I do not want to leave my child with strangers at a hospital; I cannot handle my little girl breaking down on her birthday week because her sister is going bye-bye for who knows how long....is it necessary at this point? Can the meds still help without being admitted? Is it cause to be admitted? If so, how do I do this and not fall apart or break- I am the glue between my disabled hubby and two kids- Help, please
I have a 16-year-old in the state of Virginia who is in a mental institution now she still says she’s going to kill herself when she gets out in three days the only thing they say I can do is just sign it over to foster care is that true?
That's such a scary thing to hear from your child! Have you reported her plans to the staff at the facility? I'm not sure what type of place it is, but if it's impatient treatment and she's actively stating she's going to harm herself, they are likely to keep her longer until she's stable. If that's not their purpose, then maybe you can advocate that they send her to the hospital immediately so that she can be assessed there and possibly admitted to the psychiatric unit until they can help her manage the suicidal thoughts. I otherwise don't know the Virginia system well and couldn't say if foster care is the only option for her. Otherwise, it looks like Virginia has a Mental Health advocacy group that might be able to help you answer your questions. It's at least a good place to start in your search for help for your daughter! https://mhav.org Virginia also has the National Alliance on Mental Illness who would know resources for your area, too: https://namivirginia.org/
Good luck! I hope your daughter stays safe.
I need help my eleven-year-old told her counselor when she got home she was going to commit suicide. They had me come get her from school and they followed me to our local emergency room. She told the nurse at the front desk while she was there the two ladies that followed us to the hospital left as soon as they took us back. The room were in the whole time had a camera and guards outside the door my daughter was visited by a nurse who established himself as a nurse not a nurse practitioner in or a doctor he was just there to see if you could get her anyting. Fast forward six hours later they told me she was a 10:40 or some kind of number like that I had no rights they took her by ambulance to a psychiatric ward an hour and 40 minutes away from me and my husband. How can someone be determined that they need to go to a psychiatric ward we only the school counselor I spoke with them? Please someone reach out to me and my husband no one will answer any of her questions at the hospital where she's at or the hospital that sent her there however I do know the name of the doctor that signed the orders.
This can be such a scary event! As a parent, it's chaotic. My son also declared he was going to end his life, but he did it in front of the ER staff, nurses, etc so, by the time he did calm down the next day, it was too late to leave. He was on a "hold". I don't know the rules in your area, but my guess is a 1040 is a "hold". When someone is determined to be a danger to themselves or others, most places have a statute that states the hospital can hold that person against their will until deemed safe. In my state, that's 3 days unless a court order/commitment is in place. In New York, it's upwards of 15 days involuntary hospitalization. It varies. Often, too, providers err on the side of caution, especially when it comes to children, and so it might seem like overkill to you for them to have involuntarily hospitalized your daughter, but it felt like the safest option to the providers. Most places, too, have such underfunded mental health systems that kids get driven to hospitals far away. My son almost ended up in an entirely different state when he was placed on a hold because there were no intensive psych beds in our own state available (he needed a psych ICU because he was also physically assaultive to others).
I'd also recommend reaching out to the mental health ombudsman or to an organization like NAMI (nami.org) if you feel like your daughter's rights and your rights are being violated. These things are so particular to each state, city, county, etc., that you'd need to speak to someone in your area. Googling "ombudsman" and your county or city may help you find that person. Ombudsman navigate these tough situations and make sure people's rights are considered in the process.
Good luck! I hope your daughter is safe, and I'm sorry this encounter with the mental health system was so hard!
Dear RSmith,
I am so sorry that you are in such pain. You ask the $64,000 question: how do we know? Isn't that it? How do we know if we're doing the right thing? How do we know if this is the right treatment? You can second guess yourself until you go crazy.
I think the answer is to trust ourselves. To trust that gut feeling. And, to trust the support system that we build around our children. That's what you're doing right now. Then the good news is that you don't have to answer those questions alone.
Before they admit your daughter, they will do an intake consultation. Tell them your fears. My girls have each been admitted to psychiatric hospitals a number of times. (And when that happens, you know your child is safe and getting the help she needs.) And, sometimes, they haven't. One time I was unsure if my daughter was so ill that she needed to be admitted, but her suicidal thoughts made me error on the side of caution. Yet, when we got to the hospital, she was better. We all talked about how best to treat her and decided not to admit her. Instead, we had her sign a safety contract (or, a written promise that she would not harm herself and what help she would take if she felt like it.) We made an appointment with her psychiatrist for the next day, she called her therapist and we put her into an Intensive Out-Patient program so she could learn coping skills. My point is you don't have to do this all alone. There is a team of professionals who can help you make the decision that feels right.
But, while your daughter is getting the help she needs, who is taking care of you? You need support too, Mama. Whether it is through friends, or a therapist, or NAMI meetings (see the Resources section on HealthyPlace.com for references) or hotlines, make sure you take care of yourself. You're right. You are the glue. And, clearly, every member of your family needs you.
Take care of yourself over these next few days, and I send my best wishes to you and all your family that things will get better.
Is
I am here trying to keep my own head together my baby my youngest child was hospitalized on Monday night .
Part of me wants her home with me so I can protect her against the world .
Part of feels afraid that she will try to harm her self again .
I don't really have support that we need my other daughter's have their own lives and my fiance well he is judgemental.
I am lost I hate to see her in that place where is cold and her face expressions worry me .
Dear Rocio,
I'm so sorry you are struggling so. I do understand your pain. When I drove away from hospitalizing my daughter, I felt like someone had just cut off my right arm. The loss and pain were palpable. As parents, our gut reaction is to take our child and pull her close and love the problem away. But, I can hear that the other part of you knows that your daughter needs to be in a place where people are trained to protect her and support her as she tries to get well. No one wants to put their baby in an institutional setting, but sometimes that sacrifice on our part is necessary to help our babies. That said, your child is not the only one suffering. In its own way, this is just as hard on you and you, too, need support and help to get well from the trauma you've suffered alongside your daughter. Unfortunately, very often our family and friends cannot be the ones to help. They don't understand what's going on, or have their own issues that get in the way of supporting you. It's not uncommon. Instead, call your local NAMI chapter (National Alliance of Mental Illness). They have support groups and parenting classes all geared to families facing mental illness. If you can afford it, find a therapist for yourself. There were times that I swear my therapist saved my life as I struggled with the pain of my daughter's hospitalizations. Not only did he get me through our separation, but he also prepared me to deal with my daughter when she returned home and that was very valuable to me. Finally, try to find an online support group or contact or two at a NAMI meeting. Talking to people in your same place can really help ease your pain while your daughter is hospitalized and when she comes home. You did the right thing, Rocio. Your daughter is safe. She won't like being in the hospital, but it will help begin to give her the tools she needs to deal with her situation. Like surgery, or chemo, or any other painful treatment needed to make sick people well, remind yourself that this is a major step to mental health and finding a way to cope with your child's illness. You will be in my thoughts.
Hello i am a single mother of 11 year old twin girls one has adhd and other behavioural issues the other has an eatting disorder and tried 2 times to commit suicide aslo has odd as a result i cant leave them home after scholl while i work nor can i get childcare . i have just lost my job soon my housing does anyone know of any programs that can help me financially to keep housing and live while i am home suppourting my kids through this i live in california and cant go on the streeets with them we r in need of immidiate help
That’s a lot to go through, Sarah. I’m sorry to hear that. It may help to call your local county human services department. They may be able to help you with the financial, housing, and basic resources you could use at this time. Also try United Way 211 (https://www.unitedwaysca.org/our-work/2-1-1-resources).
Meanwhile, if you need your own mental health support through this, or you’re concerned one of your children may try again to end her life, here are some hotline resources, too: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
My son was involuntarily committed on Tuesday when his grief, depression (chronic) and suicidial idealization hit a peak 7 days after the suicide of his close friend.. He made a comment to friend at school that no one would even noticed if he committed suicide and the next thing we new he was in 5150'ed. When he was initially held and committed he was beside himself and begging to go home. It took them 17 hours to find him a bed at an adolcent facility but things where sure different at the children's center.. When I drove out -nearly a 2 hour drive from my home- to the hospital to visit him the next day it was so bizarre it was like a scene from a movie. He said he didn't want to see me-i was embarrassing him in front of his new friends-the other patients. He said, and I nearly fell over when I heard this, that he really liked it there and wanted to stay beyond the 72 hour hold. He mentioned that most people got to stay longer and he could even do another 14 days. What the hell was going on here. I made it clear that the hospital was a short term thing to stablize people and not a place to stay. I told him about all the important things that he would miss, and other things that wouldn't be available to him as a person with a long term hospitalization -for instance it would be reccomend that he not be allowed to drive or use electronics when he got out for a minimum of 45 days and he would miss so much school work he would be likely to fail his classes and spend his whole summer in summer school.. I felt like I was bribing him to get better and to want to leave the hospital. He finally agreed that he probably shouldn't keep trying to stay there. My big fear now is that since he likes going to the hospital so is he just going to try and get send back every time life gets tough? What do I do with this? I have never heard of kids liking being institutionalized.