I recently described the mental health benefits of surrounding yourself with a tribe of friends. However, how do we know who belongs in that tribe? Sometimes the people around us can be toxic or perhaps just not supportive. I’ve taken years to carefully craft my circle, so I wanted to share some of the criteria I use.

Loneliness and isolation can tear apart your happiness, but you can prevent it.  I work as a peer specialist and I often hear people concerned about feeling lonely or isolated (Mental Illness Is an Isolating and Lonely Disease). Today, I want to share three tips that have helped prevent loneliness and isolation in my life.

A mother’s life can be full of bliss. All mothers share many of the same events in life. The difference, for some, is the attitude in which motherhood is approached. For some, the sound of a baby's cry, a toddler's whining or a teenager's grumbling is difficult and frustrating. But for others, the baby's cry is a sign they need you, the toddler's whine is a sign of growth and the teenager's grumbling is a time to teach. You can find bliss in your life as a mother by learning from each of these five stages of your child's life.

Do you wonder if you suffer codependency? Are you dependent on someone or something else that is undependable? Are your identity, value and purpose dependent on the approval someone else? If so, you qualify as codependent. The good news is that you can lose codependence and win your independence.

A toxic relationship can be defined in many ways. In essence, it is a form of emotional abuse played out by someone with whom you are in a relationship. As result of being subjected to this behavior, it may trigger fear, uneasiness, unhappiness, depression, or even posttraumatic stress disorder. Being in a toxic relationship is unhealthy, a leech on your spirit and in every way an obstacle to living a blissful life.

What greater thing is there for two human souls, than to feel that they are joined for life--to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting? ~ George Eliot, Adam Bede Happiest Places On the backdrop of the beautiful Caribbean ocean, I want to share a reflection on relationships. The popularized tagline of Disneyland is "The Happiest Place On Earth." For many Disneyland may very well be, but, consider something much deeper like the space between you and another, especially close relationships. Eric Weiner, the author of the book The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World, observed, “the happiest places on earth are not internal ones. They are not geographical ones. It’s the places between us and the closer they are the more at ease we are the happier they tend to be.”

In the garden of friendship is where we cultivate love. Choose your friends wisely and the love that grows will be a blessing. ~Unknown Choosing Friends: Friends Affect Your Life What affect have your friends had on your life? Does your attitude improve when you are with them? Do they reinforce your goals? Are you inspired by the lives they lead?

Do you feel accepted by others? Are those in your life supportive? Do you have a strong inner circle of friends? When life has you down, do those you thought would have your back come through? Do you have an authentic sense of belonging?

It seems the older we get, the tighter our inner circle becomes. When life has you down, some of those you thought had your back run, others . . . sometimes strangers surprise you and fill that empty space up. Oh, but life has a great balancing act and when that axle turns and you are right side up again . . . you will definitely not be looking for any long, lost "friends" because your inner circle is battle-tested to win! ~ Sanjo Jendayi Forging a Healthy Inner-self Are your energy levels high? Do you attend to your physical fitness? Do you feel self-assured? Are you confident? Forging a healthy inner-self does not happen overnight. It is a life-long journey of discovery. Because life can be a zany ride, it has a tendency to leave you vulnerable to negativity and self-doubt. And, if you allow it, it begins to erode your mental and physical strength, inner power of trust, reliability and confidence in your ability to accomplish things in your daily life. Believing in and feeling good about yourself is paramount to forming a healthy inner-self.

A relationship is, in essence, a connection with another individual and in our daily lives, it can come in many forms. A relationship may be described as familial, romantic, a friendship, an acquaintance, collegiate, or professional. Let’s face it, relationships have a colossal impact on our lives. Some can be uplifting and others can be discouraging. Can you think of any of your existing relationships that zap your energy and wear you down?