Stop Overgeneralisation to Build Self-Esteem

Overgeneralisation is a common problem that’s associated with low self-esteem, as well as other mental health issues such as depression and anxiety (Low Self-Esteem and Mental Illness). If you overgeneralise, you make assumptions or draw conclusions that are very broad and distorted. Note that overgeneralisation is not the same as seeing the bigger picture. Bigger picture thinking can be very valuable and healthy. However, overgeneralisation is a type of negative thinking that distorts reality; it is an unbalanced perception and an unhealthy way of thinking. It can magnify the negatives which can be damaging. The good news is that you can learn to stop overgeneralising and build your self-esteem.

Examples of Overgeneralisation That Relate to Self-Esteem

Before you can stop overgeneralisation, you first need to recognise that you do it. Take a look at the examples below, and see if any of them are familiar to you. I encourage you come up with your own examples and add them to the list.

• “I’m no good at this, therefore I’m not good at anything.”
• “I made a mistake therefore I’m a bad person.”
• “I never get it right.”
• “I’m terrible at everything.”
• “He doesn’t like me therefore nobody likes me.”
• “She didn’t say hello therefore she doesn’t like me.”
• “I’m a failure.”
• “I’m ugly.”
• “I’m useless.”
• “I’m worthless.”
• “It didn’t go perfectly therefore I failed.”
• “That always happens to me.”
• “Everything is terrible.”
• “My life is terrible.”
• “Nothing good ever happens to me.”

Some words can be signs of generalisation. Specific words to watch out for might be "always," "everything," "everyone," "nobody," "nothing" or "all." Any self-talk that is excessively negative is a warning sign, too. Black-and-white, or "polarised" thinking is a form of overgeneralisation.

How to Stop Overgeneralisation to Build Self-Esteem

• Catch yourself overgeneralising. Listen out for overgeneralisation and notice it happening. Stop it when you can, and counter it wherever possible. It may take some getting used to, but you’ll get better with practice. If you’re finding it hard to notice your overgeneralisation, it may be helpful to get support from a trusted friend or a therapist.
• Stop labelling. Labels hurt people, including yourself, so don’t do it. Stop labelling yourself as "bad," "useless," "worthless" etc.
• Be specific and temporary. For example, “I didn’t do my best that day but I learned things that will make me better next time.”
• See the positives in yourself and your life. It’s important to see the positives and get a more balanced picture. Your mistakes, imperfections, achievements or possessions don’t define you, and nobody is perfect. People are complex and everyone has strengths and weaknesses (Stop Being Ashamed of Who You Are to Build Self-Esteem).
• Stop blaming yourself. You’re human and you’re not perfect. You’re on a journey of learning and growing and it’s expected that you will make mistakes. Additionally, there will be people who reject you and it’s not necessarily your fault. While you need to accept responsibility for some things, it’s important that you don’t automatically blame yourself for everything.

Getting out of the habit of overgeneralisation is something that can be learned and improved over time. You will get better with practice, and your self-esteem will improve when you develop healthier ways of thinking. Stop the overgeneralisation and build your self-esteem.

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