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Breaking Bipolar

Learning how to deal with intrusive thoughts can be hard, but not impossible. In my last post, I talked about what intrusive thoughts are and why people with bipolar disorder may experience intrusive thoughts. I also mentioned that intrusive thoughts can become obsessive thoughts and this means they are particularly important to handle head-on. So today, I'd like to talk about dealing with intrusive thoughts in bipolar disorder.
Intrusive thoughts are something I deal with along with bipolar disorder, although I should say that intrusive thoughts are not, specifically, a known symptom of the disorder. That said, intrusive thoughts seem to be something many with bipolar disorder deal with. Here, I discuss what intrusive thoughts are and why people with bipolar disorder may experience intrusive thoughts.
Money stress in bipolar disorder is a very real thing and stress like this can actually make bipolar symptoms worse. In my last post, "Money Worries in Bipolar Disorder", I outlined why people with bipolar disorder have so many money worries and how horrible and drastic they can be. In this post, I'm going to talk about how to fight money stress in bipolar disorder.
People with bipolar disorder often have money worries. This isn't limited to those with bipolar disorder, of course, money worries are something that many people can identify with, but worrying about money happens more for those with bipolar disorder and I think there are two main reasons why.
Does it feel like everyone can tell you have bipolar disorder? Does it feel like you're carrying a neon sign above your head with your diagnosis on it? Does it feel like as soon as you open your mouth, people can tell that you're "crazy"? If so, I'm pretty sure this actually makes you normal. There's this odd time often right after a bipolar diagnosis where, for some, it feels like everyone can tell you have bipolar disorder.
Bipolar disorder and self-care is something everyone talks about. Self-care, in general, is just a major topic in the world of mental health. What few people recognize, though, is what realistic self-care looks like. It's not enough to harp on about self-care for those with mental illness, we need to focus on what realistic self-care in bipolar disorder, and severe mental illness in general, looks like.
I'm tired of feeling sorry that I have bipolar disorder. I don't mean feeling sorry for myself -- that's a different thing -- I mean feeling sorry for the very fact that I am sick. I mean feeling sorry for the very fact that I am the one with the serious mental illness. And this feeling sorry about bipolar disorder is wearing on one's being. I, for one, don't want to feel sorry that I have bipolar disorder anymore.
Many people associate self-harm with borderline personality disorder -- and rightly so, as self-harm is a symptom of borderline personality disorder -- but can you self-harm and not have borderline personality disorder? Or, more specifically, can you self-harm and still be correctly diagnosed with bipolar disorder (or something else) and not borderline personality disorder? Self-harming and not having borderline personality disorder is actually quite common.
Celebrity suicide can take a toll on those who are depressed and that happened to me this week with the suicide of Kate Spade and the suicide of Anthony Bourdain, reported just this morning. I can say I was upset by Kate Spade’s suicide (particularly the details, which I won’t discuss here) earlier in the week and then this morning, when I learned of Anthony Bourdain’s suicide (not an official ruling at this time), it felt like adding insult to injury. The celebrity suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain have actually worsened my depression.
I'm tired of disappointing my loved ones because my bipolar won't improve. I'm tired of looking at my doctor's face as I tell him that the new bipolar treatment isn't really making things better. Their disappointment becomes my disappointment. I feel disappointment in me too. Of course, When bipolar won't improve, disappointment is natural, but it's the disappointing my loved ones that twists the knife.