How I Silence the Anxious Voice in My Head
I hear an anxious voice in my head. The voice I hear is not related to psychosis, but speaks to me loudly and clearly nevertheless. The anxious voice in my head belongs to anxiety, and its running commentary on what I'm doing wrong never seems to shut up.
The anxious voice harps at me incessantly. I don’t experience it as an actual sound, a hallucination, but I definitely “hear” it as inner speech. Anxiety makes my mind think certain things and tell me those things in no uncertain terms and thus acts as an actual voice, not of reason, but of fear.
The Anxious Voice in My Head Is Self-Talk
For someone living with anxiety, the voice—or anxious self-talk—can be overbearing. For me, as I work at my computer writing this column or a blog on my website or my novel, my brain is concentrating on what I’m doing, but there is the anxious voice in my head that chatters on simultaneously with my other thoughts. As I tap, tap, tap on my keyboard, anxiety tells me “this is stupid and horrible.” As I sit in a meeting, anxiety shouts at me, “you’re not acting right; you’re too quiet, too talkative, too not good enough.” As I’m watching one of my kids’ sporting events, my anxiety tells me that something is going to go horribly wrong.
And on it goes. No matter what I’m doing, anxiety babbles and rants at me.
This inner mental chatter is very common in anxiety disorders. Because each individual is different, the voice of anxiety sounds a bit different for each person. There are, however, common themes among anxiety’s blather.
Worry and fear can be similar. They are different degrees of the what-ifs that seem to exist as a stream-of-consciousness in people living with anxiety. Anxiety’s obsessive voices won’t let us let go of a thought. It’s challenging to move past an obsessive thought when anxiety keeps talking to you about it, isn’t it? Self-criticism is another common theme among those who live with anxiety. Anxiety likes to bully people, talking to us ad nauseam over every single fault we have.
Quieting the Anxious Voice in Your Head
You don’t have to be badgered by anxiety’s voices for the rest of your life. To borrow from Pink’s song “Perfect,” it is possible to change those voices in your head--possible, absolutely, but quick and easy, not so much. If you’ve ever attempted to put a child to bed, you might have noticed that he or she becomes a little chatterbox right at bedtime. Stories spill out and overflow. It seems that their little voices will never be quiet. Eventually, though, the voices stop talking. So it is with anxiety and its voices. Here are a few tips:
- Ignore anxiety’s words. Sometimes, this actually works. If anxiety is telling you something worrisome, dismiss it and move on to a different thought.
- Find flow. Flow is a state of well-being in which one is fully immersed in what he/she is doing. Anything you enjoy can induce flow. When you’re in flow, you are thinking only of what you’re doing. Anxiety is quiet. Find a hobby you love, an activity, anything you can get lost in. When you’re lost in a positive way like this, anxiety’s voice can’t find you.
- If anxiety tells you something that increases your fear or an obsession, argue with it. Throw evidence to the contrary in its face. For example, every time you get into your car the voice of anxiety tells you you’re going to get into an accident, tell it, yes, accidents happen, but you’ve driven many times without them.
Anxiety likes to have a voice. It means it’s heard (by us) and it has power (over us). Good thing those voices in our heads can be silenced.
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APA Reference
Peterson, T.
(2014, October 23). How I Silence the Anxious Voice in My Head, HealthyPlace. Retrieved
on 2024, November 14 from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/anxiety-schmanxiety/2014/10/the-anxious-voice-in-my-head
Author: Tanya J. Peterson, MS, NCC, DAIS
Do you experience anxiety as a separate voice in your head (as if it were a different person), or do you experience it as your own voice? Personally, it used to sound like myself beating myself up, but now it feels like someone else beating me up.
Hi Joy,
The experience of "voices" is unique to each person. For me, it represents my own self-talk, so it's the experience of my own voice. Sometimes when it becomes a separate voice it might (but not always) be considered a form of psychosis (psychosis just means experiencing hallucinations or delusions -- things that aren't real but are interpreted as real). If it becomes bothersome, you might consider checking it out with a doctor or mental health professional just to see what's going on and determine a plan for minimizing it.
I am tapering from Risperdal and Trazodone because I want to have a baby. And lately when Im very quiet such as driving, I have thoughts telling me things, it’s not a separate voice, it’s like my own thoughts but in a commanding way. I get scared thinking what if I will start to hear voices. But it only happens when I think about it. Like if I cause it because I’m anxious. Can someone tell me if I am having a psychotic episode?
Hi Zoe. I have an inner voice too. One that can get pretty insistent, if I let it. I work through these times with my doctor(s). I think the best bet is for you to speak with your doctor(s). They are in the best position to help you understand the effects of tapering off your medications.
The voice of anxiety can cause obseession thoughts like when I'm with my cat, kill him. Then I get scared and my anxiety wants to attack. I have science that are is mental voice and she speaks with my voice, does this fit as in the article?
Hi Eddie,
There are different types of voices. Some are related to anxiety, while others are related to different types of obsessions or psychotic disorders (which can involve hallucinations like hearing voices.) The nature of the voices can be hard to determine sometimes, but working with a doctor can help. If you are bothered by the voices, you might find it good to see a doctor or a therapist. There are people that can help.
I have this saved to my home page and I read every time anxiety is starting to overwhelm me. I find it very helpful, thank you.
Hi Jay,
I'm so glad this is a useful resource. Thank you!
30/Female, I’m struggling with this so bad here recently i had A nervous breakdown and it (self-talk) hasn’t left my side. It makes day to day life hard to deal with. The only way i can explain it is talking to myself in my head constantly as if I’m narrating everything I’m doing. I aslo repeat words and songs like broken records. I want out of my head so bad. I hope This little bit of info helps.
Hi Maria,
I'm glad that this information is helpful. Have you considered seeing a therapist? There are mental health professionals who are great at helping people get out of their head. It might be something to consider. This resource provides information for how to find mental health help: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/mental-illness-overview/i-need-mental-help-where-…
I have done but I only feel comfortable talking to my friends. I prefer talking my fiancé she helps loads but sometimes takes it the wrong way. I know it isn’t her job but she helps loads because I feel I can open up more to her
My daughter is 22 and suffered with bullying At school which had a knock on effect with her lack of self confidence self esteem and how she looks she battles with this on a daily basis and now says in her mind someone is telling her to self harm herself to make her feel better what does this disorder actually mean ie is it depression
Hi Sonia,
Bullying can have a long-term impact, as you're seeing with your daughter. If she is hearing someone telling her to harm herself, it's a very good idea to have her see a doctor or mental health professional for help. Figuring out where to start can be daunting. These resources might be helpful. Seeking professional help for your daughter could prevent self harm and help her heal.
Where to Find Mental Health Help: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/mental-illness-overview/i-need-mental-help-where-…
Types of Mental Health Doctors and How to Find One: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/mental-illness-overview/types-of-mental-health-do…
Types of Mental Health Counselors: Finding a Good One: https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/mental-illness-overview/types-of-mental-health-co…
THANK YOU . I now have the information to hand .voices last night .my Brothers telling me my sons were causing hell . smashing windows .running through my home city with guns police were out in force .the voice telling me my mother family hated me ..I see the reason the voices had started . your article just read as given me ammunition to fight these .I am up for a good argument . I have the number of a mental health team .just need to ring them . and I will if I cannot get a hold of this ..shock could be the issue deep rooted ..all of this within the last 6 months . ongoing
Hi Trevor,
Your experience with your voices sounds miserable. The fact that you have a mental health team you can call and are looking for information to help quiet the voices tells me that you're strong and persistent. Those are great qualities. Keep at it. Even if voices don't completely go away, you can gain the upper hand and lessen the effect they have on you. Your mental health team can be a great help in this.
I get voices telling me basically my girl friend doesn’t want me and she’s after someone else and I’m not good enough. I try and fight it but it takes over then we argue. Iv tried explaining to her but she has a bad temper and me acusing her over rubbish winds her up. Witch makes me feel and go worse
Hi Martin,
I'm sorry to read of your experiences, both with voices and with your girlfriend's temper. Have you seen a doctor (your general physician or a psychiatrist) or a therapist about the voices. If you're hearing voices that berate you and put you down, it could be the sign of something serious that treatment can help. Additionally, if you and your girlfriend would like to communicate without becoming angry, couples counseling could help with that. Also, seeking help for the voices could help, too.
I recently just discovered my boyfriend of almost a year here’s these “voices” telling him to not trust me and that I’m cheating on him and just really hurtful stuff and I’m honestly not sure how to deal with this. He is bipolar and has anger issues as well as anxiety. I’m not sure what to do or how to help him
Hi Leanne,
If your boyfriend hasn't seen a doctor/psychiatrist about hearing voices, now might be the time to do so. A psychiatrist can evaluate him to learn what's happening and to help your boyfriend--and you--understand as well as take measures to decrease the voices as well as the anger. Also, if you ever feel threatened, call the police or visit the Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org.
I've recently discovered a way to combat the voices. It's a bit unorthodox, but it works for me.
Sometimes, I almost feel like I have several voices screaming at me. I should be exercising, I should be relaxing, I should be sleeping, I should be writing, and on and on. And everything is massively heavy with guilt and low self esteem. (That's just now as my kids sleep.) I've learned to take myself to a quiet corner, relax, and focus on my breathing. Once I get a little control back, I visualize the voices being people and all the rage that accumulates from my anxiety (and normally boils onto others), I throw it at them. Basically, I'll say "SHUT THE F UP AND SIT DOWN!" It may take a couple of times, but I almost feel instant relief. I'll almost scold them for fighting and set things straight. It's like correcting negative self talk but at the next level. By projecting all the anger and negative feeling back on them, they shut up pretty quick. And I feel better.
I know it sounds crazy, but regular self talk does nothing for me. The voice talks over my correcting.
Hi Laura,
This doesn't sound crazy at all! Just as everyone's anxiety is unique, so are the ways we effectively deal with it. It's great that you've created something that works to get those anxious voices to shut up. Thank you for sharing it because this could be really helpful to others -- as is or modified for them.
This actually helps, for a little while now I’ve been just having thoughts that I’m going to randomly be diagnosed with some random disease then I feel like I actually self induce little things I feel and create them in to much bigger problems because then I’ll start to google things then all of a sudden I think I have some type of illness. I always try to “talk” back and just try to reassure myself because I’m the type of person that needs a yes or no and talking back honestly helps and I’m REALLY glad I’m not the only one.