Struggles and Snuggles

A mother to daughter letter discussing the emotional tug-of-war they play.

Dear Kristen,

Parenting : Struggles and SnugglesYou are in Caribou right now with Grandma and Grandpa. I've savored the quiet time that's been so rare since your birth, but I miss you. We struggle a lot, you and I. We argue far more than I would have ever imagined possible, when I first held you in my arms not so long ago. How stubborn we both can be, and you, my golden eyed beauty, possess such a mighty will! All too often my frustration gets the best of me when we're playing emotional tug-of-war. Sometimes I just want to let go and watch you fall backwards, propelled by your own obstinate weight. I get so angry and discouraged!

During my finer moments, (they don't seem to come as often as they used to) I'm able to recognize the strength of character that I've typically mistaken for hard-headedness. At these rare times, I can appreciate how well your sense of conviction has, and will continue to serve you. Have I told you lately that I admire you? I want to spend less time struggling to control and more time simply savoring you - all of you - the bitter and the sweet.

I recall a story about an unhappy young girl who went to a wise woman and cried, "with all the pain in the world, the sadness, and the hatred, why doesn't God send help!!!" The woman smiled gently, caressed the child's cheek, and replied, "God did little one. He sent you."

I love that story. It reminds me of how helpless and insignificant so many of us were made to feel as children. The truth is that we each have enormous importance and worth. Every one of us is born with a unique gift to bring to the world. It's then up to us to choose whether or not to offer it.

How much harder it must be for children to recognize their gifts when they're so often confronted with what they should not, better not, and cannot do. You've already received far too many messages about limitations from me. I want to present you with a universe of possibilities, and remind you that your life is as significant as any life has been or will ever be...

Love, Mom

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APA Reference
Staff, H. (2009, January 10). Struggles and Snuggles, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 18 from

Last Updated: July 18, 2014

Medically reviewed by Harry Croft, MD

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