How to Bring Up Sexual Problems with Your Doctor

Talking with your doctor about your sexual problems can cause you anxiety, but in order to get the best care, you must be able to communicate your needs. These tips can help you when bringing up sexual problems with your doctor.

• Remember that a doctor is human, too. He or she may have anxieties about discussing sexuality with patients. Don't take it personally or as a judgment on you if your doctor becomes uncomfortable.
• Medical school courses on female sexual anatomy and human sexuality are relatively recent and not addressed in all medical schools.
• Don't take no for an answer. Some doctors may minimize your problem or dismiss it, but that's usually because they don't know how to help, they think it may be psychological, or they are not aware of potential treatment.
• Educate yourself. Arm yourself with information found on this web site as well as our book For Women Only: A Revolutionary Guide to Overcoming Sexual Dysfunction and Reclaiming Your Sex Life. Information you take to your doctor will be extremely helpful to him or her as well as to you.
• Most doctors will be open and receptive to your comments and will be happy to learn of any new information, particularly if it is based on science and research.
• If your doctor avoids addressing your sexual problems, acknowledge that the subject is embarrassing for both of you, but make it clear that your sexuality is a basic part of you.
• Start the conversation on a positive note: "I was hoping that you might be able to help me with this problem I have."
• Many women find it helps to bring an article (or our book!) with them, starting the conversation with "I was reading this and wondered what you thought."
• Be persistent. If you don't get the response you want, don't feel bad about finding another physician.
• Look in your local yellow pages or check with your local hospital or women's health center for referrals to physicians. Even if they don't treat sexual function complaints themselves, they usually have a network or physicians who are sympathetic to women's issues.