Q.Do anxiety and depression go hand-in-hand?

A. Yes, depression and anxiety can go hand-in-hand. We have done research into this subject. About 53% of people with an Anxiety Disorder develop Major Depression as a secondary condition. Many people, during the course of the Anxiety Disorder, will experience repeated episodes of depression. People diagnosed with Major Depression can also go onto develop panic attacks and anxiety problems.

Many people feel it is because depression and anxiety responses reside in the same place in the brain and, more specifically, are due to a serotonin deficit. However, a more even view is to look at the quality of life of a person with an anxiety or depression condition. For anxiety, with ongoing symptoms the effect on a person's life and sense of self is like living in an internal cage. All aspects of life are affected in a detrimental way. It is only natural a person would start to feel depression and have depressed thoughts. The basic joys and freedoms of life are no longer enjoyed.

The same in the case of depression going into anxiety. There is also the other side of the coin. Many people say if you experience depression, the question they will ask is "What are you depressing ... what are you repressing?" Well in the case of anxiety, a person with an anxiety condition will be depressing/repressing huge amounts of anxiety energy. Trying to resist the symptoms and the actual physical/emotional experience. This is why the depression can arise. Trying to hold down a huge amount of anxiety is causing a loss of energy in the system and so is interpreted by the perception system of the mind as a depression; the energy drop plus emotional response to the actual experience. On the other side is Depression, and the anxiety response to the experience of ongoing depression. The actual depression can be a huge stressor and therefore contribute to the triggering of panic attacks and development of ongoing anxiety symptoms.

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Q. Over a two-year period, I've suffered from three hospitalised episodes of paralytic ileum (2), a panic attack and presently have signs of chronic fatigue such as joint/muscle pain, flu-like symptoms, restless sleep for the past two months. Has there been any "speculation" about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Panic attacks being interrelated?

A. We are not sure what paralytic ileum is so we cannot assist you with this. In answer to your question about Chronic Fatigue and panic attacks : as far as we are aware there isn't any speculation about CFS and Panic Attacks within the main stream literature, but there certainly is speculation about the link with many people with Panic Disorder! But Panic Disorder is very precise in its experience of uncued panic attacks. As you would know, the attack can be very 'violent' and people do feel as if they are going to die or lose control in some way. People with Panic Disorder also have joint/muscle pain, flu-like symptoms and restless sleep, but the sleep disturbances are usually a result of anxiety over having another attack or people will be woken from sleep with an attack. There is also no doubt people do become extremely exhausted, but exercise actually helps people overcome this.

There was a report last week in the media here in Australia that researchers in the USA have now found the virus/bacteria which causes Chronic Fatigue and people are being treated successfully with antibiotics. This in itself demonstrates that CF and PD are two discrete disorders.

next: The Link Between Marijuana Use and Panic and Anxiety
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Q.My first question is about a link between coffee/caffeine and panic attacks. I found that my first few panic attacks occurred after drinking a cup of coffee. Although I used to drink it just about everyday, I have since cut out drinking coffee. Have other people noticed this? I also notice that you recommend meditation to control panic attacks. How often should I meditate and where can I go to learn how to do it??

A. It is interesting about coffee / caffeine. About 50 % of people with an Anxiety Disorder do link it to coffee / caffeine, but the other 50% don't and keep on drinking coffee and other caffeine products. Within this 50%, there is a smaller group who report feeling worse after drinking decaf products as they are allergic to the chemicals used in the decaf process. There are individual differences in many areas of the Disorders and it does make it confusing for everyone.

Re: meditation. We usually get people to meditate twice a day for 20 minutes, although many people cut this down to one twenty-minute session a day as they can't find the time for two.

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Q: Can you tell me the effects of drinking too much alcohol and anxiety/depression?

A: Alcohol is known as more of a depressant than a stimulant. It has the effect of dampening the physical system. If someone with anxiety/depression drinks alcohol to excess on a regular basis, then this will most probably contribute to the ongoing anxiety and depression. Some people with an Anxiety Disorder use alcohol as a way of trying to deal with the ongoing anxiety/depression. They do not realize they are making the condition worse for themselves. Not only are there physical, but also emotional and psychological, effects of drinking in excess. The other aspect is that, in the morning, it is very difficult for a person to distinguish between the anxiety symptoms and the "hangover" from the alcohol. This contributes to the major anxiety cycle and therefore perpetuates the Anxiety Disorder.

There is also research which links excessive alcohol consumption with the development of an Anxiety Disorder. It is very difficult for a health professional to ascertain which is the root cause of the Disorder. Did the anxiety exist before the alcohol problem or was the alcohol problem the cause of the ongoing anxiety? It is suggested if people are experiencing the ongoing anxiety and are experiencing an alcohol problem, then it is the alcohol problem that needs to be addressed first. Only when the person is free of the effects of the alcohol can the health practitioner deal with the anxiety (if any remain). We suggest people contact their local Alcoholics Anonymous or other similar organization to get assistance with alcohol dependency. Many of these organizations deal with the anxiety that can be residual from alcohol problems.

Our suggestion to people who experience ongoing anxiety/depression is to not drink alcohol (or very limited use). Deal with the anxiety in an appropriate way and there may be no need to drink in excess. Excessive alcohol consumption is not worth the effects it creates physically, emotionally or psychologically.

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Q: I am a 28 year old female. When I was 23 I experienced my first panic attack. It took months before I was finally diagnosed with panic disorder and put on medication (Xanax & ). I am still taking Xanax but not Zoloft. I am taking Prozac instead (20 mg/day). I do not have panic attacks anymore but do experience some points of high anxiety at times. I am slowly trying to quit taking Xanax since I have been taking it for so long now. I am currently taking 1 mg/day. When I started taking the medication I was taking 5 mg/day. The reason I want to get off of Xanax is so I can have children some day.

Since I have been diagnosed with panic disorder and been on medication there are some things that have changed about me that I am disappointed about but can't seem to "control".

I drink almost on a daily basis (average 4 glasses of wine/day - give or take some). I have gained 40-45 lbs over a 3 year timeframe I don't have energy or motivation like I used to I don't exercise like I used to. When you look at these issues, it looks as though I may be an alcoholic or depressed? However, before I was diagnosed I did drink and could control my drinking (drank socially on weekends - didn't drink on week nights, didn't drink alone, didn't drink at home watching tv, listening to music, or cleaning house) Also, my weight gain obviously has something to do with the fact that I don't exercise anymore (I used to ride my bicycle and walk). I don't exercise primarily because I do not have the energy or motivation to. Please help! I need your advice.

A: We understand how you feel with the lack of energy and motivation. It is not unusual for us to become caught up in this cycle. Although you may feel you don't have the motivation - you do have it - you wouldn't have written to us if you didn't! Only we can break the cycle ourselves and there are a number of things you can do:

Sometimes the medication can contribute to the lack of energy. Have you spoken with your doctor? Perhaps you may need to change the anti-depressants again. We are concerned you are using prescribed drugs along with the alcohol. It is very important you discuss this with your doctor as there are a number of drugs prescribed for Anxiety Disorders/depression, including Xanax, which can't be mixed with alcohol.

Some people do have difficulty coming off Xanax. Our federal government recommends people taking Xanax or one of the other shorter acting tranquillisers transfer over to and once they have stabilised, slowly withdraw from the Valium. Valium can take the edge of the withdrawal.

You may also wish to talk with the chapter of AA in your area. They can be very supportive and many, many people with Panic Disorder belong to AA.

The way we think also can keep us down. Our self talk can be very negative and depressing - 'I can't do this. I have no energy. Why aren't I motivated? I hate myself like this. Why can't I change.' etc, etc. Not the greatest way to motivate yourself! What we need to do is acknowledge to our self, 'Yes, I have no energy and yes I don't feel motivated, but so what! I am going to begin to exercise despite it. Don't buy into your usual head talk. Just get up and walk or ride around the block. Make yourself do the same thing the next day and the next etc extending your walk/ride each day. Physical exercise is very important for all of us as we are recovering. As you begin to exercise you do begin to feel better and your energy does begin to come back.

As we said in the beginning - your motivation is there you just need to see it.

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Q:I have been having nightmares and flashbacks for a number of years which relate to abuse in my childhood. I also have panic attacks and anxiety as well.

I often have the attacks when I'm driving and they can wake me up during the night. I have stopped driving altogether which is very frustrating for me and the family. These attacks frighten me because sometimes I feel as if I am "out of my body" looking down at myself and my eyes become so sensitive to light I have to wear sunglasses all the time. I also feel very giddy during the attack and it feels as if I have had an electric shock.

I was seeing a therapist who was helping me with the flashbacks and nightmares, but I stopped seeing her because my panic attacks and anxiety just got worse-and-worse. I have really worked hard in overcoming my problems and I have come a long way, but I can't get it together with my driving.

I also feel really angry all of the time and I don't know what to do about that. My therapist wants me to come back and keep working with her, but I am really scared the panic and the anxiety will get worse again. What can I do?

A: It sounds like you have had a very difficult time. From the description of your letter it sounds as if you have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), which is an Anxiety Disorder and it is not uncommon for people with PTSD to also have Panic Disorder and Depression. Some of the symptoms you mention, including depersonalization, sensitivity to light are classified as Dissociative symptoms, again very common in people with PTSD and/or Panic Disorder. Also, your symptom of giddiness can be related to Dissociation or it could be a result of not eating and/or hyperventilation.

In regards to your driving, what we have found over the years is there is one type of Panic Attack people have which is related to Dissociation. Another word for Dissociation is Self-Hypnotic trance. When people dissociate they get a variety of symptoms, including 'out of body' experiences, not feeling real, seeing their environment through a white or a gray mist, stationary objects may appear to move, tunnel vision, sometimes they may feel an electric shock, or burning heat move through the body, or a 'whoosh' of intense energy.

It is quite easy to induce these states in people who are vulnerable to them. Research shows we can enter a Dissociate state within a 'split second.' One of the easiest ways to induce this state is by staring. When people are driving, they stare at the road ahead or sit and stare at a red traffic light and without warning they get a number of the above symptoms. Many people report the symptoms can happen while working on a computer and a large number of people report fluorescent lights also help to induce this state. It can also happen when we relax, watch TV, or when we read a book. One study which links dizziness to depersonalization suggests it is not what we are doing at the time we dissociate, it 'is the magnitude of the change in consciousness which is significant.'

The prevailing thought is that when we relax, we have more time to think about our Disorder and this is why our symptoms increase. Many of us who dissociate, and have recovered using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, disagree with this theory. We can enter a dissociative state very easily no matter what we are doing and no matter what we are thinking. Recovery for many of us means understanding how we induce these states and how we deal with these states by using Cognitive skills to work with our fear and anxiety-producing thoughts.

The research on the 'night' attacks shows the attack happens on the change of consciousness as we move from dreaming sleep to deep sleep, or from deep sleep back to dreaming sleep. The research also shows the attack is not related to dreams or nightmares. Many of us can experience the night attack as we go to sleep at night or as we wake up in the morning.

If you are not eating properly and/or not getting enough sleep, you become more vulnerable to Dissociation. The symptoms are not harmful in themselves and once people can see how they are doing it, they lose their fear of them and some people report they now actually enjoy it when it happens!

One of the points we picked up in your letter is your comments regarding your childhood. Many people with childhood trauma do dissociate. In fact, many people learned to dissociate as a way of defending themselves against ongoing abuse.

Your therapist is correct in wanting you to return to therapy to deal with the issue of abuse. There is no denying that therapy can be traumatizing, as you do need to work with many of the painful memories. But it is the one way that will help you resolve the many issues you are currently facing in regards to the abuse. And therapy can also be a major factor in the inner healing process. Your anger is a natural result of what has happened to you. From what you have said in your letter, you have every reason to be angry and your therapist will help you work with the anger in a more appropriate way, rather than keeping it locked inside you.

Many of our clients, who also have an abuse background, learn to understand and manage their Dissociation, anxiety and panic, which in turn takes some of the pressure away from them as they continue in therapy. You are obviously making great progress in your own personal management of your symptoms. Remember when it first began, it was difficult to believe that the intense symptoms were anxiety, panic and depression. This is very normal for all of us. But as you have said, once we begin to accept what the symptoms are, it does make things easier.

If you do decide to return to therapy, you will be in the position of having much more knowledge of the symptoms than you did when they first manifested. This is to your advantage and will give you much more power over them than you had previously.

References
Uhde TW, 1994, Principles and Practice of Sleep Medicine, 2nd edn, ch 84, WB Saunders & Co.
Frewtrell WD et al, 1988, 'Dizziness and Depersonalization', Adv. Behav. Res, Ther., vol 10, pp 201-18

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Chapter 39 of Adam Khan's book Self-Help Stuff That Works

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN you let your mind wander? Studies have shown when a human mind has nothing specific to think about, it becomes chaotic, flitting from one thought to another in a random way. But if any mind - your mind, my mind - keeps wandering, before long, our thoughts will land on something that grabs our attention: some fear or frustration or unfinished business. You know what this is like: Your mind sticks there, like a tire spinning in the mud, dwelling on the worrisome or upsetting thought, and it ruins your mood. This is what happens to a mind without a purpose.

Having a purpose on your mind keeps your thoughts from devolving into chaos and bad moods. You can't stop your mind from thinking, but when you have a goal to think about, your mental resources are less likely to drift randomly into upsetting thoughts. They have someplace to go.

That's why studies show that people are more often in a good mood while working than they are in their free time. It seems unbelievable at first, but it is easily explained by the need for purpose. Most people are more likely to have clear purposes at work than at home.

It is common knowledge that "idle hands are the devil's workshop," but the important factor, the factor that gets you out of the devil's workshop, is something you need to do that compels your attention.

Remember that: Something you need to do that compels your attention. That's the key - think of it as vitamin P.

The human mind needs a purpose. It's like the ocelot scratching off his fur at the Seattle Zoo. The zookeepers didn't know what to do about it. They gave him a female, but he kept skinning himself. They changed his diet. They changed his cage. But he kept clawing at himself.

Finally, someone realized that in the wild, ocelots eat birds. So instead of giving the ocelot meat to eat, they threw an unplucked chicken into the cage. Sure enough, the ocelot - using the same clawing movements he was using on himself - plucked the feathers out of that chicken and stopped skinning himself.

Your mind is like that. It needs a bone to chew or it'll chew the furniture. It needs a purpose. And not just any purpose, but something that challenges you, engages you, something you intend to accomplish, something you want, something real and concrete. Your mind aligns around that goal instead of being pulled into negativity, and you're happier.

Find a purpose that enthralls you and then actively pursue it.

Self-Help Stuff That Works makes an excellent gift. It's a classy hardbound with a sewn binding that says practical stuff in a way that's easy to hear. You can now order it from any of twelve online bookstores. These are the most popular:

• http://www.amazon.com

• http://www.barnesandnoble.com

• http://www.borders.com

While you are pursuing your purpose, you may encounter setbacks now and then. When you do, handle it with optimism. Learn how right here:
Optimism

Here's a conversation on how to change the way you interpret the events in your life so that you neither become a doormat nor get upset more than you need to:
Interpretations

The art of controlling the meanings you're making is an important skill to master. It will literally determine the quality of your life. Read more about it in:
Master the Art of Making Meaning

next: Argue With Yourself And Win!

Alfred Lord Tennyson (1809 - 1892)

Poet of the highest distinction. He was a Poet Laureate and an inspiration to others. The years 1840-5 were in many ways the most challenging in his life. He was separated from his wife; he had lost his money; he felt more nervously ill than ever, and he could not write. So severe was his nervous illness that his friends despaired of his life.

"I have", he wrote, "drunk one of the most bitter draughts out of the cup of life, which go near to make men hate the world they move in."

In 1843 he wrote to a friend

" ... the perpetual panic and horror of the last two years had steeped my nerves in poison: now I am left a beggar but am or shall be shortly somewhat better off in nerves."

He was undertaking Hydropaths treatment which included: no reading, no going near a fire, no coffee, perpetual wet sheet and cold bath and alternation from hot to cold. It didn't work. In 1848 he went to a new doctor who gave him iron pills. It was commented "..this really great man thinks more about his bowels and nerves than about the laureate wreath he was born to inherit..". Many of his friends thought him a hypochondriac. He never received appropriate treatment for his condition and so experienced nervous illness through his life. He was also a brilliant poet and writer of the first order.

Charlotte Bronte (1816-1855)

Gifted poet and writer of the Victorian era. One of the infamous Bronte sisters. Author of, amongst others, Jane Eyre, Villette and Shirley. In 1852 developed a state of anxiety with depression. Charlotte was given a mercury treatment which provoked a violent reaction.

She said she was not writing but instead was swallowing drugs

"for the purpose of chasing away a low nervous fever which after long annoying threats - at last established a somewhat unfair tyranny over spirit - sleep and appetite".

She portrayed her condition in the character of Lucy in Villette. She suggests a connection between mental and physical illness

"my mind has suffered somewhat too much; a malady is growing upon it - what shall I do? How shall I keep well?" She also says "Sleepless, I lay awake night after night, weak and unable to occupy myself".

She would say the breakdown was a result of writing a book in isolation (Jane Eyre). But, she also said

"It would take a great deal to crush me!"

Sigmund Freud

Developed and taught psychoanalysis which is a form of psychotherapy. Psychoanalysis is
associated with the couch, the note pad and the silent listener. Contrary to popular belief, Freud was not the father of psychiatry. Sigmund Freud suffered from Panic Disorder at the time when he wrote his famous papers on anxiety neurosis. He had symptoms of an Anxiety Disorder and worried a great deal about his 'spells'. He had many medical evaluations for them. Nothing of a serious medical nature could be found wrong with him. He was told that his symptoms were 'nervous' in origin. Freud was not satisfied with what he was told. In his quest for a fuller explanation, he searched for a psychological cause. He built an elaborate model based on psychology of the mind and the role of internal conflicts in causing and maintaining anxiety. This model has preoccupied everyone studying anxiety for most of the century*. * The Anxiety Disease: David Sheehan MD

Nikola Tesla (1856-1943)

Genius & greatest inventor the world has ever known. Invented device to harness alternating electrical current, invented radio , fluorescent lighting and bladeless turbine, fundamentals of robotry, computers and missile science. Many of the 'modern conveniences of life' are a result of Tesla's inventions. At 5 years of age, following death of his older brother, he developed many phobias and compulsions and in general became a 'perfectionist' - subjecting himself to iron discipline in order to excel. He was also 'plagued' by panic attack - like symptoms. Strong flashes of light that marred sight of real objects and 'shooting flames' through the body. Their intensity increased as he got older.

'This caused me great discomfort and anxiety ..' said Tesla, 'None of the students of psychology or physiology whom I have consulted could ever explain satisfactorily these phenomena ..'

No surprise here, most people still can't get a satisfactory explanation about what is happening ......

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I hope you see the funny side of this. I find this tickles my funny bone.

Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts. They have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after awhile neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: ''Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?''

And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: "Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that? Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of."

And Roger is thinking: "Hmmm. Six months."

And Elaine is thinking: "But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward . . . I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?"

And Roger is thinking: "so that means it was...let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the odometer...Whoa! I am way overdue for an oil change here."

And Elaine is thinking: "He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations? Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected.

And Roger is thinking: "And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87-degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a goddamn garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600."

And Elaine is thinking: "He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure."

And Roger is thinking: "They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the rip off merchants."

And Elaine is thinking: "Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centred, schoolgirl romantic fantasy."

And Roger is thinking: "Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a goddamn warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their _ _ _.

''Roger,'' Elaine says aloud.

''What?'' says Roger, startled.

''Please don't torture yourself like this,'' she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. ''Maybe I should never have...Oh God, I feel so...'' (She breaks down, sobbing.)

''What?'' says Roger.

''I'm such a fool,'' Elaine sobs. ''I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.''

''There's no horse?'' says Roger.

''You think I'm a fool, don't you?'' Elaine says.

''No!'' says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer.

''It's just that...It's that I... I need some time,'' Elaine says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

''Yes,'' he says.

(Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) ''Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?'' she says.

''What way?'' says Roger.

''That way about time,'' says Elaine.

''Oh,'' says Roger. ''Yes.''

(Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last, she speaks.)

''Thank you, Roger,'' she says.

''Thank you,'' says Roger.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the tv, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.)

The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time-and-time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either.

Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say ''Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?''

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We have million-and-one meditation stories. These are perhaps good entree's to further stories. If you have been trying to meditate, either just beginning or for a long time, you will identify with these.

There is nothing like a meditation session to make you really aware of what the hell your mind is saying to you. The mind can be a tricky customer and we need to be on our game much of the time to catch it in the middle of a huge mind trip.

Doris was attending the first session of a meditation class. She felt this was the way to go, but still had some reservations about this thing called meditation. After the instructions on how to meditate had been given, everyone settled back into a comfortable position to try it out.

The instructor had been specific about letting go of thoughts. "What does that mean," thought Doris. The music began and Doris started out quite well, bringing her mind back to her breath ... in ... out ... in ... out. All of a sudden a thought flashed through her mind: "What if I'm the only one doing this? What if they are all sitting there watching me? I'm making a fool out of myself."

She suddenly felt a wave of self-consciousness move through her body. Every part of her body seemed to tingle from the gaze of a room full of people looking at her, and probably laughing at her, behind their hands. She fought the urge to open her eyes to check out this thought. So it was for 15 minutes. She sat fighting every urge in her body to open her eyes.

When the meditation session was over, the instructor went around the room checking everybody's meditation. Everybody had apparently been meditating (or trying to). The instructor beamed at Doris when she disclosed how "well" she had meditated. "Ahhh!" said the instructor. "This is good. Now you truly see how powerful the mind is. The thought was totally wrong, no one was looking at you, but you gave the thought the power. You believed it and so your body reacted to the thought until you actually felt the gaze of others eyes on you. The mind created the whole thing. Now, can you see it is the same case with your Anxiety Disorder thoughts? You give them the power."

Doris did see this, from experience now. "That's amazing" she thought "and I thought I had a terrible meditation." The mind will tell you anything!!!

Meditation can work

Personally, I had disliked meditation initially. Hated it!!! My perception of meditation has changed completely. Over the years, I have personally seen some truly wonderful things with regards to meditation. One example which sticks in my mind is the lady in her 80's. She had experienced Panic Disorder for close to 60 years in silence and isolation. Her face bore the brunt of this weight. You could actually she the burden she carried and the suffering she must have endured.

During the break in one of the Anxiety Management programs, she came up rather timidly and asked whether it was possible for her to recover. Absolutely, I informed her, it is never too late. In fact, I had seen a lady much like her (age and length of experiencing Panic Disorder) recover totally and was now free from panic and anxiety. She smiled at me uncertainly. She related that the doctors had told her for 60 years she would never recover. Never! I told her "That is no longer true."

We headed back into the seminar room to continue the program. Meditation was the next port-of-call. After much instruction on how to meditate, the lights were dimmed and my favorite Pachelbel Canon C was played for background music. For twenty minutes everyone in the room meditated. I quietly sat in the corner watching in case someone needed me. I saw the old lady. As time passed in meditation, I visibly saw the weight of the world lift from her face. Her face became peaceful. The lines on her face softened. I felt tears fall down my face. At the end of the 20 minutes I checked everyone's meditation. Some good, some bad. All the lady could do is beam at me, her face soft and peaceful and almost seemed to be glowing. Her burden was lifted and SHE knew now that she could recover too.

Even now, as I think of her, wishing with all my heart for her, I feel tears fall down my face. Meditation works in so many ways that I can't even begin to explain.

It was her second-time meditating with a group and June felt she knew what to expect. The first meditation was "good" and she understood the concept of letting go of a thought. The music began and she settled into her focus word. She felt feelings of peace and relaxation descend on her. She felt openness and her body seemed to melt away as the tense muscles totally loosened.

Very quickly, the peace and calm deepened dramatically. She felt as if she was dropping very quickly into deeper -and-deeper states of meditation. She instantly tensed to stop the descent. At that point, she had a panic attack. Contrary, you would imagine, to the supposed purpose of meditation.

The story continues later as she was sharing this story with the group - the ending is not as you would have imagined. June had the attack, and when it was over brought herself out of the meditation and just sat there till the end of the 20 minutes. Everyone in the group her horrified, the worst thing they could have imagined had happened. June, though, said that the experience was not a "bad" experience because when she was in the meditative state she was letting go. The panic attack was upon her, but she still just let it go. It was over in 2-3 seconds, she reported. Smiling broadly, she ended "Usually my panic attacks last for hours. Now I understand what they mean by letting the panic attack happen. I did and it was gone before I knew it. Still damn scary but gone."

Thoughts control reactions

Tara sat for her first meditation session with a group of first-time meditators. Tara decided before the meditation began that the music would be her focus. Easy enough, she thought, I love music. The meditation session commenced.

Initially, Tara could see through the thoughts that passed, one after the other, through her mind. She gently brought her awareness back to the music. Different thoughts arose to distract her: "What will I do after this is finished? I must get the shopping done before the crowds start. Rotten Bill, he never helps me do anything, he just expects. Maybe the music isn't the best focus. What about using a word or breath?"

Each of these thoughts she successfully let go of and returned to the music. Until ... "I don't like this music." Instantly she bought into it. She tensed up and her mind became rigid. "That's right," flowed the thought process. "This is useless. I'd be better going home and using my own music".

Tara was caught in this thinking process for awhile, getting angry at the instructor for not choosing a better piece of music, feeling agitated for not being able to leave NOW. Suddenly, a lightning bolt of awareness shot through her. "Didn't the instructor say the mind will tell you anything? Isn't I don't like this music" just a thought too?"

She returned her focus back to the music. Resolving it didn't matter- if she liked the music or not-it was just a focus after all. By the end of the meditation session, she reported later, she actually liked the music and found it easy to meditate to. She learned the number one lesson - thoughts control reactions and perception. If a thought says "I don't like .." and if you buy into it ... then you don't like.

Just rubbish?

Joe was a man in his 60's and had developed the disorder after he had retired. He was the first to admit he had pushed himself all his working life and now was reaping the revenge. He was also a man who had tried every thing he could. Most of the time, he was led down paths that just didn't help one bit. To say he was sceptical about any treatment for Anxiety Disorders would be an understatement.

His wife, Elizabeth, dearly wished for him to get well. She saw an advertisement for an Anxiety Disorder Management program and had signed them up for it without consulting Joe. He came along only to please her. He had little faith in anything working at this stage. Every word, every sentence that facilitator said he would doubt and question. Then came the meditation session. "Total rubbish!" he exclaimed openly. "Just try it," assured the facilitator. "Just do it as an experiment. Then judge."

The 20 -minutes were over and Joe said not a word. Everyone left for the day. The second day of the workshop, the facilitator was surprised to see Joe and his wife Elizabeth turn up again. At the break Elizabeth pulled the facilitator aside. "Thank you, thank you" she said, holding back the tears. "Yesterday, as soon as we got home, Joe went straight into his study and closed the door without saying a word. I heard that Pachelbel music being played and he came out after half an hour. He loves it. That meditation changed him. Usually he can't sleep, but last night he did. I think he finally feels he has found something."

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