I’m Emma-Marie Smith, and I’m proud to be joining the Verbal Abuse in Relationships blog here at HealthyPlace. A few years ago, I met a man who was charming, intelligent, and good looking. My family liked him, my friends liked him, and he did all the things a good boyfriend does. He bought me flowers, left love notes under my pillow, and was always proud to introduce me to his friends and colleagues — but that wasn’t the whole story. The verbal abuse began weeks into our relationship and lasted for almost two years.

I am Kellie Jo Holly, and I participated in the cycle of verbal abuse with my soon to be ex-husband for almost 18 years. I retain the relationship with him because we have two sons together who are now teens. Leaving the marriage did not end the abuse. Stopping verbal abuse has more to do with my reaction to it than convincing him to stop!