The Anxious Empath: Anxiety and Other People's Feelings

This is an amazing article. I see many people saying they are either a therapist or psychologist. I've always had a calling to be psychologist, maybe because it's in my nature to understand and help people. I find that when a friend or family member speaks to me I'm often overwhelmed with emotion and an uncontrollable feeling to find a solution to their problem. I often lose myself trying to help others. The worse thing in life is for an empath is to cross paths with a narcissist. I became this unrecognizable person trying to help a narcissist in a hard place. As I get older, I'm learning I must help myself before I can help others. I struggle with relationships because It's hard for me to control my emotions. I get written off as being too sensitive at times. I cry during movies, I feel when others are sad, tense, stress, angry or even happy. People are always drawn to me and easily open up to me about the most personal topics. A lot of the time I find myself trying to get away from society. I almost need personal time to think and unwind the way i need to sleep and eat. Without it I won't survive. I've always known I was different but never knew how or why. This article explains it all too well. I have a better understanding of who I am now and my gift. Thanks for writing the article and thanks to everyone who shared, very much appreciated.

I believe both me and my daughter are empaths. Seeing her intense reactions to others feelings even if it's just a facial expression or it's hidden she can sense it all, but seeing all that makes me realize how sensitive I am. I'm riddled with anxiety constantly and depression. I don't know how to handle the emotions it's so overwhelming, I've always been called overly sensitive. Overly emotional.

How can we stop this illness? Yes, it’s an illness. I get everything listed above and then some. I’m out on disability now because I get sick so bad I’m throwing up every morning, sugar levels rise, bp shoots up for no reason, fevers, cold sweats, hypertension, etc. I’ve seen my doctor. Labs were done, one day I’m 100% healthy, the next I’m diabetic with low levels of potassium and I forgot the other one. I’ve been to 4 specialists, even an oncologist and they can’t tell me squat. I’m done. I want out. How do I fix this? If you guys don’t know can you point me in the right direction?

Hello I need help. Since I turned 33 December 19th this shift in energy is ruining my life and has my sanity on edge. I have no answers as to what is going on after almost a year of extensive research and reaching out to any and everyone from Shamans to parapshycologists....I am physically affecting people/things around me just by being in the same room. People can FEEL my energy and when I get close the freeze up and get confused almost seem afraid and want to run from me... I can go into more detail if someone can please explain what is going on... I have fekt suicidal over this because no one wants to be around me
They run point stare mock and ridicule me in front of me... all because I make them feel cold and uncomfortabl. I have lost jobs and have been excluding myself.... please anyone help me get an understanding of what this is......I beg. (No this is not in my head) I wish it was....

I was looking up on google why being empathetic hurts too much?...and came across this article. It best describes what happens in my mind. I don’t know how to make it better, but it really impacts my life. I cannot watch the news because of it. But I see/hear of news through other methods (Facebook, word of mouth...)
And it affects me for days, months and even years in some extreme cases. And now that I have a son, who is 3...it’s even worse because I can relate to some horrible stories. I actually suffered from post partum depression because of it. I was so scared of loosing my son it became an obsession. I would like to stop feeling this way..,idk if it’s normal. I’ve been scared of going to a doctor for fear of being diagnosed as crazy...lol.
But I also don’t want to be cold to people’s feelings. I love people and all should be loved and respected. But I do want relief from the pain and anxiety it causes.

I am posting under the account of my Weed for Warriors Exchange (WWE) initiative, but I am a Desert Storm vet diagnosed with OCD, PTSD and secondary disorders for which I am now seeking an early retirement because the environment has become unbearable and toxic to me. I am in my 50's and managed this long, but don't feel I can continue, so I am hoping my VA rating and all other considerations will allow me to find a new environment for my health needs.
I am not ashamed to say that I began using CBD oil hoping that it would help relieve some of my symptoms and side effects (and I believe it helps) only to find it is just as illegal as Cannabis itself in my state- even though I purchased it OTC in that state. It is these things in life these days that are causing me extreme anxiety- that make me want to use Cannabis! Anyway, I need to vent here because I've just discovered this concept of Empath's.
I am not into "new age" kind of things, but I am into physics and, particularly, quantum theory. It is not a stretch for me to grasp that our consciousness lives in the same sea that connects us all- or that some of us might be more in tune with that than others. I sometimes think people question my sanity simply because I understand this to be true because it has been proven- but also because i can FEEL IT. And these past few years, it has been trying to kill me. Let me explain please, but this isn't going to be a short read...
As a child, they said I was self-destructive, hyperactive, manipulative, and was "an accident waiting to happen." When I entered high school, I started using Cannabis because I found it made me feel better and was the only way I felt I could cope. I was condemned for it and labeled a pothead, so I joined the military to escape the constant ridicule.
During Desert Storm in 1991 I was under intense pressure- but the kind I thrived under and I was performing at the top of my game and I think I can even say at an extraordinary level for my rank given the responsibility I was given. I even discovered a new capability that was later developed into a multi-billion dollar technology. So when my command started going out of their way to ruin my career, I sent my life into a slow downward spiral I have not recovered from yet. My entire perspective of the world changed- and so did I. I lost interest in everything after the war.
When I returned to home base before everyone else, that night I recall feeling extremely lonely, disappointed and lost. I went from being a fun-loving person to a loner other than a few close friends and family. I became very serious minded and all business with a huge chip on my shoulder I couldn't shake. I've been there ever since.
It took many years, but I started getting treatment over 10 years later for what I thought was PTSD and it was several more years before a diagnosis was made. My doctor and a therapist he referred me to believed that I had "some form of OCD" that caused me to lock on like a laser to issues related to my work that I felt had to be fixed because they didn't work- or could be done better. It drove everyone nuts- and still does. I can't stop fixing little things that most people are able to ignore (which I can't understand because it's things we repeatedly do all the time for no logical reason). Those things drive me absolutely crazy. For awhile I was able to bit my tongue like everyone else, but I couldn't help to keep asking everyone- WHY?
Sometimes, on rare occasions, there will be a breakthrough, and the powers will relent and change (which makes me very happy) but I feel the ANGER and HATE coming off of those who resisted it for my simply wanting to be more efficient. Gets me into trouble in every job and as a result I have held MULTIPLE CAREER-level positions in widely differing fields, because I have either been fired or had to look for something elsewhere because of it.
What led me here is a conversation that I had with my therapist who believes that I tend to view everything logically and have to be able to understand what I do and what is expected of me and ask questions when I don't; and challenge the answers I'm given when they don't pass the test in application. My therapist suggested that I "see" these weaknesses in others when they cannot support their view. I will continue to challenge them to the breaking point. They relent or I force them to show their true character. I expose their hidden agenda's- that I am also somehow able to perceive immediately- long before we ever reach the reveal.
For as hard as I have been working to control myself- I can't stop. I've seriously considered having an hemangioma removed from my tongue- just to keep me from being able to talk for awhile... The thoughts enter my mind so quickly they escape before my brain has time to process the thought before it's being verbalized. People used to politely say that I am "passionate."
I am not an evil person and do not seek to hurt others. At least not good people... But I do insist on living in a reasonable world where when there are things that don't work in some way and are wasting money, time and energy (they have no purpose in life)- they need attention. If someone comes along with a better way and can point out where the problems are and show a workable solution to them, that everyone should have an "Ah-Ha" moment, laugh about it a bit, make some adjustments or changes and move on- happier and more efficient for doing so. But not any longer. Chaos rules the day!
Now we live in a world where we do things simply because we are told. Nobody questions anything. We can sit and watch our businesses, money, time, everything- go right down the toilet and STILL nobody really seems to care any more because they KNOW THE FIGHT it takes to change anything these days. I call these situations out.
I've learned that in many (most?) of these encounters in my life, the reason turns out to be nothing more than ego, insecurity, or some other hidden agenda that compels *some* people (just as I am compelled to expose them) to resist allowing needed changes in our workplaces not out of ignorance- but by some twisted design that prevents good order, efficiency and productivity- the opposite of Chaos.
Unfortunately, all to often, these people are in positions of power and authority and other have to go through them to make these changes.
Most of the time in these situations, it will be brought to a manager or executives attention and, being the person of character and integrity that they are, they will see the problem and allow necessary changes to be made. But others will refuse, either covertly or overtly- they will block change. When this occurs, I find myself about to experience one of two outcomes:
1. They are simply being cautious and unsure that change is necessary. They need to see proof of it and they also want a workable solution. If these can be provided, the problem is solved. If they remain unconvinced for some reason, they communicate it and the reason has now been identified for why it was being done that way to begin with.
2. If they become defensive, arrogant, dismissive, condescending, or similar- now we're talking about someone who has a hidden agenda. Maybe they just don't want to be shown up? Maybe they are the ones who created a bad process? Maybe they just don't like you? Maybe they are in someone's pocket? It could be anything really. There doesn't need to be a reason at all. They just have been put into your universe to cause you misery in your life because they seem to enjoy it or seeing you have to bend to their will.
Now, I believe I am beginning to understand why I feel this way thanks to this and other articles I have found as a result of that conversation with my therapist. Then, while surfing in a forum for information on Cannabis for relief of symptoms and side effects of the PTSD and OCD (with secondary Anxiety and Panic disorders) i've finally been diagnosed with, but cause me a great deal of dizziness and other issues, Someone reached out to me and I heard the use of the word "Empath" for the first time. It's like this person had known me my entire life and read me like a book. Amazing. Now I know, but I am lost and overwhelmed. I feel like I am going to need the rest of the winter just to rest for enough energy to begin this new chapter of my life... It is very draining.
Thank you for allowing me to vent and explain the life I've been living and trying very hard to come to terms with.

I have been reading comments after reading article and have to agree with some that this is a sickness in a way or even a disability it feels like a curse. When I was younger instead of playing sometimes I would watch the Sally Struthers shows for hungry children and cry and cry for hours wondering and worried about every single life on the planet (all at once it sometimes felt like) who is hungry or unloved or worse. I can tell what people are feeling on the other end of the spectrum the ones causing others pain even sometimes its like they know for a split second that I know and they do not like it. Being this way has made me forget about myself all throughout my life. I see that being this way makes me a narcissist magnet. I grew up being the daughter of a narcisstic mother that took advantage of this, eventually destroying my life by labeling me crazy after I left an abusive husband she even stole my 3 children and sided with my ex husband. Helped him get everything. I gave up on trying to understand how she could do such a thing to me as it was killing me. Now and in the recent past I cry for me. I gave myself that much. I have read articles on "star children" lately which seems to be relative to this as well as Sheumann's Resonance.....maybe. Thank you for your time writing this article and a place to vent. It is relieving.

Oh my! Here we are more than 3 years later and this entry is hard-hitting for those of us who find it. I have bookmarked it! Thank you! I am currently going through a rough episode of tragedies among people who are close to me. As any close friend would do, I jumped into listening and caring mode with little effort. But it is the AFTERMATH that is killing me. I feel like I've been a ROCKET who successfully launched and shot up into the sky with great glory and effectiveness. And then -- POOF! The rocket has busted apart. It's broken up into pieces. And those pieces have plunged to the earth again and litter-of-my-life is strewn EVERYWHERE. It is SO STRANGE. And I take great comfort in assigning this attitude and aftermath as "pathological." Yes: I am an Empath. And there should be a 12-step-group for us, too. But the fascination is how I simply do NOT identify with those individuals who almost take on a martyr-like mojo as they "perform" the common and beloved traits of a good friend who is willing to share in your distress! Seriously? Profoundly? I am typically a quiet warrior who is only intense with the key individual who is suffering a cataclysmic loss, tragedy, disappointment; e.g., death, death of a marriage, loss of a job, et. al. So... I want to thank all of the commenters here...because whereas the article's terrific --- your comments are even better for me. As with any sort of confusion or suffering, it means IMMENSELY to me...knowing that I am not alone in grappling with this STRANGE condition of being an "Anxious Empath." I must learn to say NO. I must recall these feelings of hopelessness and sadness in the aftermath. I must cherish my good efforts to create and live a life that is sheltered, firm, strong. And come to terms that I simply cannot give away pieces of myself. I cannot be a "rocket" for someone. I must stay "grounded" here on earth. The dilemma: WHO will believe me; i.e., that I am an "Anxious Empath?" Thank you again, Everyone. (heart)

I really hate to admit I might b an empath because I feel like admitting it makes me hypocritical and fake like I want something to b special about me but being this is anonymous it's easier for me to say what I think on here I've definatley never told anyone this in depth how I really feel. I used to think I was just depressed but I know the reasons I'm sad and I cant seem to remove myself from them, I feel like I can help those around me some of which r the ppl who might make me feelas down as I do even more so it feels like and I cant shake the feeling like i was born to take as many hits as it takes to make someone's life better. I get overwhelmed from time to time because it feels like my whole fate is to make someone anyone feel or accomplish something better even if it make me feel worse and worse to the point I have some pretty messed up bad thoughts about myself and what I want to do. I just dont know if anyone who feels this way can ever feel a real sense of accomplishment or if I'm truly meant to just keep doing this till I can't do it one more day. When I'm alone with my thoughts long enough I feel I can keep doing it because its what I'm meant to do really I feel it's my true purpose for being here but when I get overwhelmed I can't say I dont think about ending it often I'm not looking for sympathy just wondering if theres anyone who has found some way to feel as tho it's all for something and how or at least just something that grounds u when everything feels lost I'm in my late 20s and I cant imagine doing this forever when I've tried to let anyone know just a little how i feel im told im over sensitive and it's my fault for being upset and I would give anything not to feel this way I just dont know how to feel different does anyone have a way to cope that isnt medication I wont do that I have these emotions for a reason and I don't want to numb them I want to solve them.

Thank you for this awesome article! And all the extra article links. Wonderful resource you created.

I'm 58 and have just realized that I am not "crazy" - I'm an empath. I've not been diagnosed, but I don't need a medical diagnosis. I am somewhat relieved that there is an actual "term" for this....(condition?), and that there are many others out there who have the same ability, but until now I've looked at this ability more as an affliction - not knowing what it was, I've went through most of my teens and all of my adult life feeling emotionally and mentally tortured. I'm now nearing retirement, and I'm exhausted, burnt out. At this time, I don't know that I have strength, or even the motivation to develop coping techniques or learn how to set boundaries....it's too late. I lost my mother last year, to cancer. I looked after her (compassionate care) in the last 5 months of her life, nearly killed me, had to go on additional anti-depressants to get through it, am finally just down to one, which I've been on for the last 20 years and will likely be on for life. At this point, not much matters to me, I'm just putting in time, day to day, trying to be as normal as I can. It's been hard on my partner, but not much I can do about that - he doesn't really grasp the idea of "depression and anxiety", so to try and get him understand the idea of being an empath..... But as I said above, I am relieved to know that I didn't inherit some type of mental condition that I may have passed onto my daughter - she deals with anxiety as well, but seems to be coping with it, we talk regularly about getting through obstacles in life and how to deal/cope with them. I've worked in the legal profession for the past 30 years, I'm totally burnt out, but feel I need to be working, and being a legal assistant is all I know. The added stress of working in a busy law office for 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, is slowly draining any energy I have left, not sure what shape I'll be when I reach 60 which is when I plan to retire. Maybe once I retire, I'll finally be able to focus on myself, learn how to meditate, do some yoga, try to find a therapist that can help me, all of which I'm sure will help me in coping with this "ability". I just have to last for 1 year and 7 months, that's all that's keeping me going right now. "Hi" to all others that have posted comments on this site, and good luck to all of us!

I'm an empath. I've suffered for many years as a result. I will always be an empath. People are naturally drawn to me and tell me all their problems. Strangers and so on. What I tell other empaths is you can choose and you won't be punished for saying no. I know it's hard to say no. The facts are we are not responsible for helping every person that comes to us.
Boundaries are completely necessary. Saying no.is completely necessary. Self care is completely necessary. Yes, we are unique in having this ability. We want to be appreciated and seen too. Spend more time with yourself and say no. Ask questions of yourself before going to assist another. Most times you will find there are other people to help as well. It's not all up to you.

This article really helped me to understand what it is that I've been going through all my life. I'm 22 years old, I suffer from two severe anxiety disorders and have suffered from them all my life. I've never been able to go to large gatherings or be out in public with large groups of people all around because I feel so overwhelmed and all these emotions just come over me like a tsunami and most of the time it puts me into a panic attack. I never understood why it is that I feel all these emotions when I'm around other people, it would get to the point where I could not even go to school for months on end due to being in fear of feeling all the emotions that I do, in fact I never even finished high school because of this. I've gone through severe suicidal depression at 15 years old due to this and not being able to withstand all the emotions and feelings that I constantly go through on a daily basis. This article however has helped me to understand why it is that I feel the things that I do which I'm thankful for. One question though, do any other empaths feel the emotions of animals by just looking into their eyes? I have a dog and I can feel his emotions whether it's sad, alert or happy is this also a normal thing for empaths to experience?

I’m so grateful to have found this article today. I’ve been struggling since I was a teenager and I’m now 45. I suffer sever migraines, depression, anxiety. And I believe I’ve finally found some answers. I’ve been through one on one therapy as well as Cognitive Behavior Therapy and learned a lot but still struggle. This last year has been very dark and dreary due to a relationship I’m in with a very complicated emotional manipulative person. Thanks to everyone for their feedback to this article it has helped me!

It has been really helpful today to read through all of your comments. I feel terribly burdened and overwhelmed today. I wish I could stop the incessant chatter and worrying in my head. All day, everyday. People say I am “just being negative” but honestly, I think I am being realistic about a lot of things. I know that the worst case scenario is not always the resulting scenario. However, I cannot help but think of a million possible outcomes at once. It actually serves me in a lot of ways. I have had to learn to look out for myself, due to being an empath and the vulnerabilities that comes with. I think it has made me a little rough around the edges? I miss when I was oblivious and naive and had a lot of energy and potential. With every heartbreak or obstacle, it just gets squashed down. I have put others first a lot, so I think as a defense I have withdrawn a bit. I don’t have the energy for myself, let alone others! I recently got married. None of my past partners have understood my anxiety or ways of thinking I am prone to. It seems like it has pushed everyone away. Although I do believe it all happens to teach us things about ourself and this world. My husband now is wonderful and truly tries to understand. He doesn’t quite get the level my brain is on when it comes to the anxiety I deal with. So it sometimes causes some issues. But overall, I feel very supported and lucky. We are going to start going to couples therapy. We both have some issues and want to better understand each other. Communication is a huge hurdle when dealing with anxiety. Sometimes I don’t even know if my brain is telling me the truth or I am just crazy! Outside of that, I don’t have many friends anymore and family doesn’t get together much. Today I am feeling that loneliness and sadness. It gets to be too much sometimes. I feel like I will always be burnt out and weighed down. But I know that some days are worse than others. The feelings pass. Really trying to focus on observing them instead of feeling them. It is very difficult. I smoke weed daily, in the evening. It is the ONLY time I feel even remotely relaxed. I am on meds too, but they only do so much. My husband just brought home some crystal singing bowls and they help to relax me a lot as well! I would recommend trying sound therapy like that. Especially if it is hard to keep focus on a distraction/coping mech, or hard to get out and exercise. Best of luck to you all! Remember to shine bright and get through one day at a time. Adopt a pet! My dog is my life saver :) Much love!

I am so thankful to have found this page. So much information shared has finally given me a name for the problems I have experienced as far back as I can remember. “Empath”. I always knew there was a word for what I am. This article & several responses describes me perfectly. I am 63 years old & it has taken me this long to figure out this mystery that has plagued me most of my life. My husband had an affair and we divorced over 3 years ago. I was so shocked & hurt I developed ptsd. I found a wonderful Psychologist who helped me tremendously. The ptsd finally went away but unfortunately it is back again. Not as bad as before but still, it’s got to go. I look at people who are so happy & wonder why I have never been able to be like those people. I wondered if there was some kind of wonder drug that would help me. I just want to be happy. I want this monkey off my back. These days I spend most of my time alone & planning my funeral. I have even decided to have a Green Funeral. I have already chosen my casket, made arrangements with a friend to sing 2 beautiful songs & play the piano, even chosen an awesome spray for my casket…and so on….. I don’t mean to bore anyone but I too am burnt out & exhausted. My mind is tired. I cannot sleep well, it takes hours and medication to even get to sleep. I wonder why I’m still here. All I can do is pray. And I do. I understand how all of you feel & I am sad for you too. This is a burden to me. I know I am a good person but I want to be a happy person too. I was just talking to my sister who I suspect has the same problem I do, and I told her at this point in my life I have to just give it to God because I know I can’t fix myself. I want to wish all of you a wonderful life & thanks to everyone again for your posts. You have helped me understand a lot about myself. I have a feeling that my Psychologist & I will have a lot to cover on my next visit. May God bless & keep us all safe, happy & healthy.

The anxiety can get so unbearable sometimes as an empath because in social settings you also start questioning whether it’s your gut telling you something is off or you are just being anxious!!
I used to get so anxious in the past, around people that weren’t honest people
Living with so much anxiety sometimes can make you feel misunderstood quite often. I believe that only other empaths will truly understand these struggles.
Often times you want just a safe warm place to turn to