What Do You Do When Anxiety Makes You Feel Unreal?

Hello Greg,
I have GAD and used to go through these feelings of depersonalization and weird disassociation really regularly, even now it occasionally still happens. I can relate to how you're feeling, because it was scary for me as well. Making sure that you get plenty of sleep and nourish your mind with healthy food is super important. Lack of sleep and anxiety is just a bad mix! I had a great therapist who showed me some techniques to help overcome the feelings of unreality and help me reconnect, maybe you could try them :)
1. Check your breathing. I used to over-breathe, under-breathe and even hold my breath without even knowing that I was doing it, and this would cause me to be partially hyperventilating all the time. Sometimes the symptoms of hyperventilating can make your body feel different or 'unreal'
2. Stay in the 'here and now'. Do something that involves your senses, like smell, taste or touch and savour every part of it. I used carry small pieces of textured fabric in my purse and when I felt like I was disassociating I would pull out the fabric and touch it, really feeling every fibre until I was back in reality. It worked great for me.
3. Tense and release your muscles starting at your feet, focusing on the feelings in your body, this also helps to re-ground you back into the here and now.
Best Wishes, Natalie

Please help me, I've been having experiences of déjà vu for the past 5 months. I swear had whole experiences before, knowing exactly what is going to happen and with whom in my people.
It's really scaring me. These situations could not have happened before but feel that I've dear met them and now they are happening to me. Am I delusional? What is happening. I can describe the person and that same person appears. And a conversation....
What should I do?

Hello and thank you for this blog entry, while I know it's a terrible thing to go through it is also reassuring to know I'm not the only one dealing with such bizarre and unwelcome feelings. My anxiety has been affecting my every moment since I was a young teen and it has definitely progressed into a sort of self satisfying monster. I have been able to control it to an extant more so these days but there are always those times where I seemingly have absolutely no control over it whatsoever. It is during those times that I experience this sort of alien esque out of body numbness. Normally for me it is large crowds of people [grocery shopping where everyone is so tightly interlaced, festivals, offices etc] or during gatherings such as holidays and family reunions. It also tend to happen when a harmful or particularly distressing event has occurred like an argument or problem with money. During any of those fore mentioned occurrences my anxiety reaches it's peak level and I've surpassed being able to stifle it by just sipping water and listening to music, at this point it's out of my hands. This is when my body and mind go in to free fall mode if you will, I sort of just exist as though not to be affected by much else at this time. Everything goes on around me and I partake in it. I can have conversations, make decisions, run errands etc but I'm so 'out of it' that I feel as though it could all just be a big dream. This causes me some pain because I know I'm not truly engaged the way I should be especially when I'm with my son and it brings me some guilt as well. It feels as though I may never get out of that foggy cloud of detachment when it's happening but I know subconsciously that I will. What I tend to try and do once it gets to be a bit much to deal with is I try and find a safe and quiet spot, typically outside in my swing or sitting on the porch steps etc. I will allow myself to try and shut down all thoughts of my anxiety and what brought on these feels in the first place, I will tune out my worries if just for a few moments and I will listen to my body a bit. Concentrate on breathing slowly and deeply in and out and try and attempt to allow my muscles to become as relaxed as I can to increase circulation. Sometimes a swinging motion in a swing or rocking in a chair can help me focus on a relaxing rhythm and routine and that helps clear the mind as well. Nature sounds and sights are very pleasant and tend to open up the senses sometimes. All of those things I've mentions have helped clear that fog for me. Sometimes just sitting outside for a few moments but sometimes an hour or more, even taking a nap outside if possible. Those things have drastically improved my anxiety as well as lifted that numb haze for me. Other times finding a moment to myself where I know everything is taken care of around the house and no one will be looking for me I will relax in a chair or bed and listen to calming music or nature sounds through my playlists if I am unable to go outside. It's different for everyone but you are definitely not alone with these feelings. I hope this will find you well. Good luck and I send you love and well wishes. It is an uphill battle but as long as you keep fighting with what tools you have you will never lose :)

Omg, this is the first time I have seen someone describe the exact thing I have been experiencing for a long time. I told my psychiatrist when I had him that this is must be why they say people who suffer with mental illness are "not all there."
I don't know how to cope with it myself, other than to go through the motions and to realize that it is part of mental illness. I feel better when I am doing my favorite thing, which is doing photography and being out in nature. Distraction in the form of your passion is key to centre yourself, I think. And just realizing that there is going to be a struggle, and that if you are cognizant of that should take away a bit of the panic you feel.
Thank you so much for writing this blog, because I have searched all over the internet looking for someone who is going through this exact thing but until I read what you wrote I felt I was alone in this feeling.
I hope that you move on from this feeling very soon!

I too experience that and it's really disorienting. I find that it happens until I can get really, truly focussed on something else and then it goes away. That's tough because it usually happens when I'm waiting for something or somewhere that I can't default to my computer or some other engaging activity.
I don't have the answer to eliminate it, but I've found that if I can do some Pranayama style breathing, with an emphasized pause between the in and out breath, I can draw myself back to feeling 'present'.
Because I support impulse control disorders and soothing behaviors such as binge eating disorder I am very interested in this topic. I'd welcome discussing this and possibly writing about it with you. I think that creating awareness around the prevalence of these occurrences might be helpful for others who haven't identified what is happening to them. Please feel free to email me if you are interested in pursuing this discussion. Best wishes and peaceful thoughts - Lizabeth

Greg - Please, before you spend another minute researching or thinking about your anxiety, find a good tai-chi class, with a view to starting that for immediate emergency grounding, and I promise your inner energy will change so fast, from your first class...and if you could start with tai chi with a view to moving on to a martial art such as Kung-fu, I genuinely believe your world will be transformed.
Please do try and report back?
Best wishes :-)

I've had this happen to me, and it usually happens when I'm in an environment where I feel either claustrophobic or experiencing sensory overload. I also have ADHD. There is a specific store I try not to go to because even when it's not too busy, I'm assaulted with too much sensory info that I can't process all at once. When this happens, that triggers anxiety. Dissociation is one of the signs that I'm experiencing anxiety. I usually have to remove myself from the area or go to a quieter area to collect myself. There have been times where I've had to actually leave because of how much my anxiety has increased.
The specific store I avoid is crammed and packed and has narrow aisles and even though it is huge, I can't see past what's in front of me. By contrast, I can go to Costco and not experience this because when I look out I can see across the entire store, things are spread out and its easier to process the sensory information I am presented with.

I thought I was the only one. No, really.... I always thought of it as "observer status" like I was about a half-inch outside my center and doing stuff and "sensing" (not "seeing" per se, but sensing...) myself taking part in the same activity. For example, when I was a teen and with my friends at the amusement park and we were having an AWESOME time, and then maybe lost our direction to where we were supposed to meet up with others in our group, I knew I was actually physically walking -- and it almost seemed as if I could sense myself observing myself walking. It's weird, I don't know how else to describe it. I also suffer from migraine disorder, and between that and the anxiety/depression only recently diagnosed (but with which I've dealt silently for many years) ..... I have to wonder if maybe there is a connection there as well.
When things get tense or hectic, and I feel myself getting into that "half-inch" place, I can do deep breathing -- maybe not the "ocean" breathing that I do in yoga practice but sometimes a good deep in (to a four-count), hold to same 4 count, out to the four-count and just nothing to the same four-count. And repeat until I'm back in a good spot. For me, it helps.
And while I'm not quite ready to go full public with my struggles, I have shared with the people who are most supportive -- dear friends who get me and who have battled anxiety or depression (or both) themselves, or who have close family members who have as well. Their insight and wisdom is crucial. And I have an awesome therapist as well. :)
Thanks for this article. I really did think I was the only one.

Hi everybody my name is hailey and I just wanted to share that I've been feeling unreal since the begging of 4th grade it wasn't a problem back then but now I am starting to worry a lot now I'm in fifth grade and im 11 and its been happening everyday now it first started with a panic attack then a anxiety but now it's gotten worse I've been doing some research and it seems like now I have panic disorder if any suggestions please list down below

Magnesium and Calcium can help alleviate the symptoms of anxiety, along with a Flintstone vitamin daily. I top these supplements off with: Ensure as well with a full glass of OJ. However, caffeine and alcohol are the real killers if you're trying to rid yourself of panic and anxiety. Even a soda can trigger anxiety in most people. We're only talking about 40mg of caffeine here, lol. Also, sinus medication can make your anxiety go haywire too.
My panic attacks ended when I decided to go with it and demand more from it. It felt pretty weird going with the panic instead of being against it, but strapping on the harness and riding with the anxiety and fear made them almost completely go away. Plus it helps you understand that it's only anxiety and nobody has ever died from a panic attack. Hence, I remember having shortness of breath and a panic attack at the grocery store. It felt like I was going to die. But I kept on shopping and rode with the wave. When something like that happens, you have to face your fears and forget about people laughing at you in your mind, lol. However, there is a trick: Scream as loud as you can in your mind 10x, and finally breath from your belly though your nose and exhale from your mouth. If that doesn't work, try it again!!

Yeah its nice to know that I am not alone. I feel things like Im not real, how did things get here? Like a plastic cup for example how was that made where did the material come from? Such a stupid thought. .. Am I really here? At one point a counselor quoted"I think therefore I am" so I thought ok someone else had to feel this way to make a statement like that. This blows and is so hard to explain. I hate it, sometimes I think so hard about my thinking then I freak out about nothing.The thing that helps me is testing the thought like ok well if I am not real it won't matter if I scream at the top of my lungs in the middle of Walmart. I of course have never done that because that would be embarrassing so I guess I am real. I would love to form a group for people that feel like this. We could help each other more than any doctor or counselor. Because you can only truly help if you have experienced the feeling. If anyone would like Robert in a group chat on Facebook email me at stacylmss@gmail.com

Hi Stacy id just like to say reading what you said in your reply is an absolute god send for me i've had unreality problems for years and has come back due to terrible antidepressant withdrawal and have now gone back to my normal dose as i couldn't stand it, your the first person who has identified how my thinking is..... how did things get here? Like a plastic cup for example how was that made where did the material come from? Such a stupid thought. i thought i was only one who was thinking this way and its such a weight of my shoulders.

Hello Greg;
I think that before looking for a solution, you must before know where you're anxiety comes from, for me it started at a very young age when I was bullied for 3 years, till I finally decided to change school, the thing is that 3 years without doing anything about it left me with terrible consequences, I was feeling so lonely and misunderstood. In my new school, I decided to talk to nobody, because when people don't know you, they don't know about your insecurities and have nothing to bully you with. Time passing I developed a crazy anxiety that turned to very serious convulsion every time that I had to talk to someone or take an exam, any situation that would make me show up my abilities.
It happened sometimes that I was so anxious that when looking to myself in the mirror, I wouldn't recognise myself, also when I would go out I had always a very strange feeling that the world I'm seeing is not real, that it was just in my head, and people, trees, buildings were just a projection of my mind.
Sometimes I was feeling disassociated from my body when I was talking it was my ideas but not my voice, like somebody else was talking instead of me, but saying exactly what I wanted to say. I used to say to my maths teacher: "I feel like I am in the wrong body, this body can't be mine"
I saw so many psychologists and psychiatrists that made me worse because of very wrong diagnostic, then one day I just decided to work on myself, I looked back in my past to see what could possibly cause my illness, I analysis and tried to be as honest as possible with myself, I reviewed my way of thinking and dealing with people and discovered that I had serious confidence issues.
Now I am a totally transformed women, I don't care about people judgement, I found out what I want from life, I am positive that I can achieve anything I want with hard work and confidence, I am a good student, I don't let anyone or any culture or religion tell me what to do, and I never do something that contradicts my morals to please someone.
So what I am saying is that first try to understand yourself, then if you are in the same situation I was, try to have an independent personality, nobody should influence your way of thinking if you don't have any doubt about it, nobody should be able to underestimate you or make you feel inferior.

Wow - I am so glad I saw this!
I've recently developed disassociation, and it's terrifying to me. It happens primarily when I'm focused on something for a long period of time; for example, watching television. I alter into a trance-like state without realizing it. After a certain amount of time I forget that I'm watching television or I don't really understand what is going on. I become sensitive to sound, confused, and a little dizzy from the shift of consciousness, which immediately induces anxiety and a panic attack. I have to break contact and focus on something else to get myself "grounded" back with reality.
Outta the blue this happened, and it happens at least once a day. The out-of-body experience feels like something from the Twilight Zone. I have been under an abnormal amount of stress and with the ongoing psychological harassment of anxiety, I'm not shocked it's now taken a step further in making my life hell. Luckily it only lasts about a couple of minutes, but leaves me feeling mentally exhausted. I had to cut out caffeine (sad day) from my life to try and alleviate the symptoms. Will work on a total diet change, because I cannot go on much longer feeling like a robot when I talk; hearing my voice sound like a strangers. Ugh!

Thank you so much for posting thread up. I feel like people finally understand what I have been battling with since I was a teenager.
It first began in high school in class settings. Something would trigger the attack and I would suddenly had feelings of u reality or like I was in a "dream state". I would be having a conversation with a student next to me and feel as if they were not even there and everything would sound differently.
After analyzing myself during theses attacks, I noticed I would become sensitive to sound, such as the rustling of people moving in their seats, pages turning, etcetera.. At this point I would begin to freak out and the panic attack would begin.
Through the years, I've learned that breathing techniques have helped me cope during the attack and have helped bring me back to a more normal state. I also learned that caffeine increases the potential for these attacks.
I also learned that going with the flow of the attack has helped me deal and cope with it as it prevents my mind from "feeding" the attack with fearful thoughts this increasing the anxiety. Also focusing on a topic at hand and not the symptoms of dissociation has helped to decrease those feelings.
I hope this helps you guys as much as this thread has been beneficial to me. I'm just glad I'm not the only one dealing with this. I always felt alone in this battle.
Stay motivated and fearless!
Gods bless

hi, I have a baby he's 4 months and I started having anxiety when the baby was a week old for some reason I didn't realized that actually I was having it even before I gave birth I remember I used to get scared if the music was too loud bc I thought it was going to hurt the baby, the first time it happened after I gave birth

Greg, thank you for sharing this. I have been struggling a great deal with this disassociative feeling. It's a hard feeling to cope with that's for damn sure, but what makes it just a little bit better is reading your post and through these comments. Because it truly does make you feel like you MUST be crazy, but to know that so many people can relate to feeling like this is a real comfort.
Jilly I relate most to your comment. You described it the same way I do. Twilight Zone is exactly right!! It's petrifying and I've had multiple panic attacks recently because of it. One being at work...that was fun...not! I travel an hour and a half to and from work 5 days a week and since starting this job in august, that is when the anxiety got bad. I've dealt with anxiety for a while, but mostly mild. I struggle with obsessive thoughts as well. And everything has just gotten worse recently. I think the job and commute has been a big trigger. I've never been good with change.
Thank you so much to everyone on here for sharing.

Yes! Finally someone understands what I'm going through. It is so awesome to know that I'm not the only one. You see, I'm only in middle school and I get these "attacks" all the time. I've been to doctors and physiological therapist to help cope but nothing really works. At school it is so unbelievably terrifying. The attacks caused my grades to drop in school because it gets to be hard to focus when I'm so worried about another attack. Also, thinking about another attack tense to cause another attack.
I play baseball and I sometimes get attacks during practice or games. These panic attacks have truly overtaken my life. I refrain from so much in fear of getting another attack. I've learn that sleep and meditation help, as well as, not consuming a lot of caffeine. Please... if anyone has anymore advice let me know.

Greg I have chest pains that feels like heart attacks... and I don't realize the reason why am I having this. . but this goes on for 2 to 3 hours....any tips to cope up with this?

Does anyone else also feel like they are so forgetful as if you can not remember or think right. I almost worried about having all timers or the fact that I'm losing my mind. It's like nothing feels really including myself ..I understand what everyone's saying. Scared and struggling with this alot lately.

Well I knew I wasnt alone in this battle. This feelings suck. Especially when u always feel them. All day I feel dreamy unreal it's almost like when you first wake up. Ive done everything. Had my eyes checked good. Thyroid good. Been checked for diabetes nope. I first had a panic attack when I was 15. And then nothing. When I was 26 I had a major one and never felt the same after. I wish it would go away but it won't. Sometimes I could be just sitting and feel like my heart is have palpations. Feel unreal.the panic starts because of these feelings. I've learned that healthy diet and exercise helps alot. I've learned to live with but talking with others who have the same problemsize help. My cousin has the same issue. I pray to god that it will be better. Just remember no matter it won't kill you.

I am twelve years old and I have been experiencing this feeling for as long as I can remember. I am filled with complete joy knowing I am not the only one but also it is saddening knowing that other people suffer from the same feeling. I am sorry not to have any advice to share and help. I am aware that the lack of asleep and anxiety is not a very amusing mixture from experience. It lasted all of the school day, each class I went into I showed no emotion of my situation and asked for no help for my suffering. I have asked for advice from my parents, but none of their supporting comments seemed to calm the rising feeling from spreading. I am thankful to know that I am not alone.

Hey, I know some of these posts are form a while ago but it helps to read about this problem happening to others, not that I'm happy anyone else has to deal with this horrible problem, just feels reassuring to know I'm not alone. I remember my first attack was with my ex GF, I was staring into her eyes and I kinda jolted in and out of reality (love?) hahaha but I brushed it off. happened a few more times randomly but I just thought I was overly tired and just blah. Then one day at work (transport ambulance driver) I was driving from base to a call and I was with a really annoying co worker and he was rambling on about something, and I felt like I was yanked from my body and brain very suddenly and I felt like I was about to die or something, I quickly regained control on myself and breathed very heavily which made my coworker ask if I was ok? I honestly had no idea if I was ok. I was mentally drained that day and when I got home I looked it up and i found out that it was like a derealism or depersonalization syndrome. After that last time I would go for months or even a year without issues.
I went to paramedic school and had no real issues except for the fact I was diagnosed with light sensitive painless migraines, which sounds great but my migraines would replicate a stroke, I would get a numb right arm, problems seeing, dysphagia, couldn't control my thoughts. once I found out I had these I took precautions wearing sunglasses and learning breathing techniques. So happily I haven't had a migraine in about a year. Anyways I am married now to a new great lady and she knows I deal with this stuff sometimes. unfortunately my paramedic career didn't last long for reasons that have nothing to do with my derealism problems, and I went to doing security, a job I did in my early 20's.
About a week after my wedding my wife convinced me to go to my doctor and he put me on escitalopram, I've been on it for about 2 weeks and I feel a bit better, minus some asshole side effects. A friend of mine told me I might have started getting worse because my job is dull and all I do is work, for years I've been in a fast paced high stress jobs that makes me feel more alive, my panic would help me focus on the job at hand but now I sit and watch a computer, so my mind might be possibly trying to have panic responses because it's used to it. Time to get back into the shit I spose ;).
Keep strong people, lets get help and get our voices about this in the public. I love you all. don't suffer in silence.

It's been great to see this page. I had Lupron injections and soon after developed anxiety attacks. They start with a overwhelming sense of dejavu ( often instigated by sight or sound, seeing a car on the beach or listening to lyrics), then adrenalin... I feel like my blood is hot. I'm left feeling really tired. I have been diagnosed with hyper ventilation syndrome and now focus on belly breathing but I do avoid strenuous exercise, which is not ideal, as I find I often suffer these horrible dejavu attaks when I am in oxygen debt but not always. It can happen anywhere. It's been going on for years and just comes on and then goes away, then it's back again. I'd love to know if the medication set this off.

I've had anxiety and ocd since 16. 37 now. Mine untreated led to hiding from life and drinking. Have been sober for 16 years now with 12_step program. Have had outside help for a number of years for panic attacks, ocd and generalized anxiety. Going through it at the mo with the unreal feeling. Have Had exams recently and other things that gave triggered my anxiety more. First panic attacks for a long time, now generalized anxiety and the horrible unreal detached feeling. I get lumps of it every so often. So grateful there are others that understand. In a relationship now so more difficult to appear "normal". Luckily she understand s and has had similar problems. Wish I knew of these sites and solutions when I was 16, save all the using/drinking...

Hi all of you. That one comment describing it as "fog" sounds familiar. I have fibromyalgia. Which causes anxiety and depression as one of its many symptoms. Another symptom is called fibro fog, where a person's mind goes foggy and you can't really think clearly and everything feels like a daze. Do any of you experience muscle pains and cramps, headaches, excessive gas and overall discomfort on a daily basis? It might be a good idea to do some research on that. I was freaked out completely when I started getting anxiety attacks and then soon after the derealisation started to kick in as well. Just wanted to share it with you all. Hope this information helps at least one person.

I believe in prayer , and when I have a attack and I pray it makes everything goes away . Because the lord does hear you're prayers . But another thing that can help is being active , and keeping it off you're mind . I still stuggle with it a lot , I mean a lot !! It's a very scary thing , makes you feel different , or not normal . Makes you want to do things that you don't want to do . The only thing I can say is you will get over this , you will fight it . Knowing I'm not the only one that haves this makes me feel like a human again , makes me know that I'm not crazy and I'm not " sick " in the head . Thank y'all so much for y'all comment , helps me a lot!!!

m very glad to know that this will pass soon. I had feeling unreal. this all start when I quit smoking weed I feel unreal, pain in back of head I had ct scan it is normal. I just had panic attack. after reading this that concentrate on ur breathing it helped me getting relief from this. I m happy that this will pass soon.

i have ben feeling like this for the last ten days no to sure if im on this earth or fullers earth was in bridington last week not to sure how i got there or home for that matter very very strange but just have to live with it

So sorry for all you out there that are goin through this it's the pits I'm goin through it big time at the mo it sucks Keep at it lots love

Glad that im am not the only one it kinda feels like you high or something.What helps is sleep and a shower or just thinking positive

Does anyone else who has depersonalization/derealization find it hard to talk sometimes, its almost like someone else is taking and you're just watching it through their eyes? Its one of the scariest things for me because it makes it more difficult to accept it and not worry.

I feel things is not real and my heart beat fast some times and I feel anxious

Anxiety sucks as far as I am concerned. I have been suffering from anxiety and depression for quite a long time and I think that coping with it requires a big heart, a lot of will power and a lot of patience.

Ok so I went to go see the new annabell movie. And I already had a whole bunch of anxiety so after the movie I was even more worried because I felt unreal so i started thinking all these crazy thoughts like what if there is a demon attached to me. And I started to think what if I go to sleep tonight and the demon takes over my body what would happen to my family.so my question is why am I feeling like I'm possessed is cause there is to much anxiety or am I just crazy