It has always been difficult to face my fears and discuss my self-harm with loved ones. Even after five years without an intentional mark, I still fear opening up to family members and friends about it. When speaking to health classes, I find it much easier to bring forward my experiences with self-harm and suicide. However, when it comes to one-on-one conversations, I tend to freeze. How come it is so difficult to talk to loved ones about our experiences with self-harm?

Recently, I’ve been in a major funk. In my last blog, I brought up that I’ve been in a pretty low state and haven’t felt this way since, well, high school. It’s scary when old emotions come flooding back, especially if those emotions are negative. I’ve been feeling over-tired and unmotivated. I’d rather lie in bed all day than bring my dog for a walk or clean the apartment. However, over the past week, I have been really trying to push myself forward.

This past year, I’ve spoken to numerous Syracuse high schools about my novel, Noon, and the self-injury topics discussed in the book. Like I’ve said in my past blogs, one character struggles with self-harm and suicide. A lot of my past experiences go into her scenes and, sometimes, I feel bad that I threw all of my baggage into that character’s life. However, it does work as quite the positive self-injury coping skill. Recently, I spoke to a high school about the book and realized, again, how useful it is to talk about the struggles you’ve gone through. It allows you to really open up and show your braver side. This blog was a huge step forward in my opening up about self-harm. When you have the confidence to talk about your past, it shows how much you’ve grown.

I made my last, intentional self-injury cut on the night of October 14, 2008. I was sitting in the bathtub, staring down at a bobby pin and crying about the news I’d gotten that morning. The news had been devastating and to this day, still leaves me in disbelief.

When it comes to counseling and therapy, almost everyone feels anxiety. Before stepping into an office for the first time, you feel unsure and stressed. Some people don’t think they need to be going to therapy and feel forced. Some people don’t believe that therapy will help and that it is simply a waste of time. Sometimes, it takes numerous sessions before any kind of opening up happens. One thing that is concrete about therapy is that it never hurts to try.

During my self-harming years, writing was my main outlet and focus. All my life, I’ve been writing, but as a teenager dealing with deep depression and a parent’s divorce, writing became more than just a hobby. It became the one coping skill I could really count on. Well, until my floppy disk would crash (yes, floppy disk). I’m not trying to push writing onto self-harmers who are seeking a positive coping skill to replace their negative one. I’m just putting it out there as an option. There are many other creative ways that can help you stop harming yourself. But since writing is the skill that practically saved my life, it is the one I know best.

Whether you haven’t self-harmed in years or are currently in the battle, flashbacks of weak moments always pop up. It's inevitable that you're going to see a scar and remember the reason it was put there.  These moments can come from a song, a place or even a person. Such as an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend.

It is terrifying to talk about your self-harm if you are having difficulty coming to terms with it yourself. It is even scarier to talk to loved ones about your self-harm issues because it can be just as scary for them too. Not many people understand why self-injurers do what they do and where the need to cut or burn drives from. Sometimes, even the self-harmer doesn't know why or how they started to do what they do. Distraction? Accident? Boredom? No matter what the trigger was and how it started, self-injury becomes an addiction and it can be terrifying to try to make others understand it.

In this video blog, I discuss how to talk to your family and friends who may be in denial about your mental illness - or simply do not believe you at all. I have experienced this personally, and what I have learned is -- some people you can reason with, and others you can't. Here are some tips on how to deal with family in denial, and when to move on from those who won't understand, no matter what you do.

Recently, I was asked to address the topic of self-injury and sexual intimacy. More specifically -- being ashamed of your body due to self injury cuts, burns or scars and having to shy away from intimate relationships, or face possible rejection by a sexual partner should they see them. In this blog, I will address ways to deal with this type of situation.