What Do Dreams About Self-Harm Mean?

Hi Shaz,
Thank you for your comments, and for your concern! Please don't worry; I'm glad you took the initiative to share your worries with me--though please do remember, I am not a licensed therapist; my opinions are personal, not professional.
Regarding your dream--I can't formally analyze it, but I do think it's likely to do with all the thoughts you've been having about self-harm. Our dreams are often a mixture of memories (recent or distant) and the things we've been thinking about, both consciously and subconsciously. So it's not surprising to me that, having thought about self-harm, you dreamed about it. Even though your past self-harm didn't cause any permanent damage, that doesn't make it not "real" or insignificant. And if you're thinking about it again now, it seems like it had an impact on you--maybe more so than you realized at the time.
I think it's important that the wound itself in your dream was frightening to you; to me, this sounds like it could be reflecting your worry about the situation, like you don't really want to give into self-harm even though you've been thinking about it. It's often the case that the harm itself isn't what we're after, but whatever relief we may find follows after. So this is a good sign, to me; it's good to not want to hurt yourself!
If you're worried about your dreams, you may want to speak to a therapist that specifically has some experience with dream analysis. Even if not, however, it may be helpful to you to reach out to a therapist to talk about your thoughts around self-harm—it's better to head these things off early, if you can, than wait until they get worse. Here's our resources page; there are some links and phone numbers here that might help:
https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
If you have any more questions/comments/concerns, don't hesitate to reach out. I'm here to help however I can. :)
Sincerely,
Kim

Hi, I just experienced something similar and I’ve been trying to figure out what it means. I’ve now had two consecutive dreams where I’ve seen my SH scars have doubled and are now on both wrists instead of just my left. They are completely healed and I have been clean of cutting for about 4 months but have been thinking about it recently after attaining a scratch from my dog, people mistook for a new sign of recent cutting. I feel like I’ve dealt with all the reasons that used to trigger me and have no reason at all why I would want to. It’s coming back into a familiar feeling of guilt, like I’m ungrateful or a burden. I can see myself starting to spiral again into these intrusive thoughts but I was doing so well, I really am trying to avoid it. If anyone could have any idea where this is coming from and how I can deal with it healthily it would really help. And sorry this is so out of the blue, I know it’s been months since people last commented.

Hi Cheyenne,
First off, I'm so sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend have been going through such a difficult time. I know how hard it can be NOT to think about something, and to ignore what sounds to me like intrusive thoughts. (Keep in mind, however, that I am not a medical professional, just a writer with some personal experience in this area.)
Whether or not your dream was a nightmare, it does seem to me like it's probably tied to your recent thoughts and experiences around self-harm. Again, I'm not a professional, but in my unprofessional opinion, it seems like maybe the reason your dream didn't feel like a nightmare until you woke up is that, unconsciously, your brain may be linking self-harm with relief. Even though it made you feel worse in the past, now that you keep thinking about it, there may be a part of your brain that is trying to convince you that simply going through with it will make those intrusive thoughts go away. (In my experience, however, the more you engage in self-harm, the harder it becomes not to think about.) If this is the case, it may be that your dream felt pleasant because you were dreaming about that relief you're hoping for, but you were distressed when you woke up because you don't want to keep hurting yourself.
As for being triggered, yes, it is certainly possible that your girlfriend's self-harm may have triggered your own. This may make things difficult for you if she keeps self-harming while you are trying to recover, but it's not an impossible barrier to overcome. Ideally, of course, you will both be on the path to recovery soon.
I understand not wanting people to worry over you, especially when you're worried about your girlfriend. However, please try to believe that your own well-being is every bit as important as your girlfriend's. I'd like to assume that she wouldn't want you to suffer, especially in silence, any more than she would want you to. The same, I hope, goes for your parents.
Is it possible to reach out for professional help on your own? Some schools have free counseling services—if not, you can try calling a hotline that might be able to connect you to the right service provider. I know getting help can be scary, no matter who it is from, but as someone who went through recovery on her own for a long time before asking for help, I can tell you this—it's much easier to get better WITH help than without it. Here's our resources page:
https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
However, I do think it might be helpful for you to talk to one (or all) of the people you mentioned. It's possible that you and your girlfriend could work toward recovery together, rather than suffering separately without talking about it; just take care not to use any accusatory language or point fingers in any way. You don't want her to feel like you're trying to force her into anything; rather, try to focus on simply letting her know that you're worried, that you care, and you want to help her feel better in any way you can. Or, you can start by talking about you--maybe hearing about your struggle will help her feel comfortable with opening up to you about her own. And yes, your parents will worry if you tell them, but they may worry even if you don't. Looking back now, I realize that I acted a certain way when I was self-harming, and even though I didn't tell them what was wrong, they knew something was wrong without knowing what--and that can be worse than knowing the truth.
However, disclosure is a very personal thing--so please do weigh anything I say here against your own judgment. You know your girlfriend, your parents, and your relationships better than I do; it's up to you to make this call, though I hope I've made these decisions a little easier for you.
If you have any more questions, comments, concerns, don't hesitate to reach out. I'll be reading.
Wishing you the best of luck with your recovery,
Kim

Hi,
It sounds like you are going through a lot, to say the least. It sucks to be in a bad situation that feels like it just keeps getting worse. I think the first thing you need to do (and I hope you already have) is to get some sleep. I know that might sound absurd, given the scope of everything you've shared here, but your body and your mind need rest. As someone who's dealt with nightmares most of my life, I know it's easier said than done, but sleep can make such a HUGE difference in how you feel and how clearly you can think. It's not going to fix everything, but it's a first step.
Next, try a breathing exercise. Again, this isn't going to fix everything. But it might help you calm down and clear your head, even if just a little. I like box breathing—breathe in to a count of four, hold for a count of four, breathe out for a count of four, and hold for a count of four. Repeat four times or so. (Stop if you get dizzy.) You can also try yoga or just going for a walk or listening to a guided meditation if you prefer.
Now, think about whether there's anyone professional you can reach out to for help. I know that might be daunting, especially when you've got so many things on your plate, but it really sounds like you're in a place where you could use some extra support—and it sounds like your friends and family might not be the best place to turn for that support at the moment. It's all too easy sometimes to always put others first, but if you don't take care of yourself, it's hard to be there for the people you love. And I'm sure you'd like your loved ones to take better care of themselves, too. So consider whether you can talk to a counselor (maybe your school or work has a free one you can talk to), or call up a doctor, or connect with a therapist—if not in person, maybe online or by telephone. If you don't know where to start, try a hotline—we have several listed here:
https://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-refer…
Even if you don't want to see a doctor yet, you might try connecting with a support group or even just finding some self-help materials to start with. Again, that page is a good place to start looking.
I hope you and your loved ones are able to start healing sooner, rather than later, and I hope this information helps you do so. If you need more clarification or have any other questions or concerns, just ask. I'll be around.
Sincerely,
Kim

Hey! I understand you most of the situations. I also lost my grandpa it's been 3 months and i am having a very hard time. Today i also had a dream about my dad who found out i was self harming.
That was a thing that i would never want to happend in real life. I also have a lot of nightmares. What i wanna say is that you are not alone. And about putting others first is a good thing but not to do it too much. You need to take care of yourself first. If you feel like you don't wanna do that anymore i think that it's time for you to say to them :- sorry, but i think you should understand that i'm always the therapist and I can't go on anymore . Ik it may sound rude but it's the truth after all. I really don't wanna seem rude but your friend's need to understand right? And ik it may sound absurd but you may need sleep. Make sure to clear your mind and say to yourself : im ok, everything will be fine and stay positive. Ik life it's hard but we all need to fight . Everything will get better soon believe me . It sounds forever but the happiness will start to show up soon. I wish all the best for you ?

Hi Jade,
It's great to hear you view your past self positively; I can see why that might make a dream like this rather confusing and disturbing. I'm afraid I'm not a licensed dream analyst, so I can't give you any definite answers here (if there are such things, when dealing with dreams). I would strongly urge you to find a therapist or other mental health professional with experience in dream analysis, if you want a proper deep dive into this and any other dreams you may be having. But in the meantime, I can offer you some questions to ask yourself that might help you discover the answer on your own.
- Why might your child self have wanted to die? Did you experience any dark thoughts like this when you were that age? If you've been stressed at all, it might be bringing up memories of such times even if you no longer feel that low. Otherwise, this might be more symbolic—maybe you feel as if something you are doing now is disappointing your inner child, suffocating her. If you've recently given up on a dream, or even if you're just generally unhappy with the direction your life is taking, that could be a factor here.
- On a related note, do you feel like you've betrayed yourself in anyway? This may be especially relevant if you attacked her in the dream because you were upset at her choices—not to mention the "betrayal" of you attacking her. Or if betrayal seems too strong a word, consider whether you've disappointed yourself in some way lately—maybe you made yourself a promise you didn't keep, or set a goal you failed to achieve?
- Have you seen or watched anything lately that might have triggered the imagery in this dream? Often our dreams pull imagery from recent external stimuli—so, for example, maybe you watched a TV show where someone died of monoxide poisoning or punched someone else in the face.
In general, if you're wondering about your dreams, it's always a good idea to journal about it—try listing out all of the different elements of your dream, and then consider what relevance they have to your waking life. Don't just think about what physically happened, think about how you felt and how that might relate to feelings you've been dealing with during the day.
I hope I've been helpful here, and I hope you have better dreams tonight. Feel free to reply here or comment elsewhere on the blog if you have any further questions, comments, concerns, etc., and I'll reply as soon as I can.
Take care,
Kim

Hi,
To begin with, I have to emphasize that I am not a doctor of any kind, and am not licensed to do any official dream analysis. However, personally, from what you've said, I would guess your dreams are connected to that "trapped" feeling you've been coping with and a (very natural) desire to be relieved of that feeling. Since you felt better after hurting yourself in your dream, it seems like you associate self-harm with relief, even though you've never hurt yourself.
It's good to recognize this early—it gives you a chance to change that narrative without falling into hurting yourself for real. I would definitely suggest trying some things now, rather than later, to find some healthy ways to cope with your negative feelings that will help you feel better. One thing I've done in the past when I felt trapped in a situation was to sit down and write out every single possible solution, even the ones that seemed farfetched, as long as they were even a little possible. Just seeing that list helped a lot more than I expected. And sometimes the creativity involved helped me see options I didn't recognize before, and sometimes these were the options I chose in the end.
Journaling in general can be helpful too, as well as any kind of creative outlet you might enjoy. Self-care, too—taking good care of your body can improve your mental state more than you might expect. It can also help alleviate sleep disturbances, including nightmares.
If you're struggling with your dreams, or if you start to feel like you're struggling with self-harm urges—or honestly, if you're just struggling in general—consider asking for help. Commenting here is a great first step, but is there someone you can reach out to and talk with? A therapist or counselor might be a good idea, but if not, see if you can think of a close friend or family member who could help you through this. It's not selfish or weak to ask for help; if anything, it's brave. And it can help so much, both now and in the long run.
I hope that helps. If you have further questions, comments, concerns, etc. feel free to reply here or elsewhere on the blog. I'll reply as soon as I'm able.
Sincerely,
Kim
PS: I appreciate the Stranger Things reference in your name. :)