Recovering from a Bad Therapy Experience

Trust is important in any relationship, but it is especially critical in your relationship with your therapist, and it can be hard to recover from a bad therapy experience when that trust is broken. Therapy requires allowing someone we barely know to access our deepest fears and insecurities and trusting that they will treat this information with respect and sensitivity. When we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and receive empathy and understanding from our therapists, therapy can be healing and fulfilling. When we feel unseen, invalidated, or misunderstood after sharing deep parts of ourselves, it can open emotional wounds and make us feel even worse. A bad therapy experience might even turn us off to the whole idea of therapy, but if we never try again, we might miss out on a transformative relationship that allows us to achieve our goals and live happier lives.

Feeling Guarded After My Last Bad Therapy Experience  

My experience with my last therapist wasn't a positive one. I went into my last therapy experience with an open mind. I wanted to allow myself to accept feedback even if it was hard to hear. I came in ready to trust my new therapist, so I brushed off the invalidating comments she made to me, deciding I must have been reacting out of defensiveness or not being clear with her. Still, I often left sessions feeling frustrated, invalidated, and misunderstood.

When I tried to address these feelings with her, she responded with statements that made me realize that she and I were not a good match, and I let her know the relationship wasn't working for me. I regretted opening up to her and replayed sessions in my head for months, feeling hurt and angry every time I thought about the way things went.   

I haven't been seeing a therapist for a year now, and I regret waiting so long to try again. I have a degree and two years of experience myself in mental health counseling, but even I felt turned off to the idea of therapy after such profound disappointment. I know that sometimes it takes a few tries to find the right therapist, but I still was afraid to risk making myself vulnerable only to be let down again. After a year, I'm starting with someone new this week.

Finding the Right Therapist for You

Therapy is an intimate experience, so it is important to feel safe and understood by your therapist. Like any other relationship, some people just click better than others. If you start therapy and are feeling like your therapist isn't hearing you, you can and should speak up about it. Communicate your feelings and concerns.

Sometimes it's simply a matter of needing a different approach or style, or sometimes you just need to clarify what it is you hope to gain from therapy. If your therapist is a good fit for you, he or she will be receptive to your feelings about the relationship and work with you on fixing the problem. If you speak up and don't feel that your therapist understands your concerns, it may be a sign that you aren't a good match, and it is completely normal to say so. You have to feel safe and understood in therapy to make progress. 

For more information about mental health counseling, visit these links:

• "Mental Health Counseling: How it Works, Benefits"
• "Types of Mental Health Counselors: Finding a Good One"
• "Free Mental Health Services and How to Find Them"

Have your experiences in mental health counseling/therapy been mostly positive or negative? What do you look for in a good therapist? Have you had a bad therapy experience? Let me know in the comments.