Driving Your Mental Health Point Home

For decades, Americans have used their automobiles as traveling billboards, plastering promotional messages across chrome bumpers in hopes of advancing a vast spectrum of causes and opinions. Why, one wonders, has the mental health community been slow to adopt this ubiquitous form of persuasion?

The answer, almost certainly, is to be found in the curse of stigma, which runs so deep in our culture that the afflicted – us – would rather remain silent than boldly declare our beliefs right next to declarations regarding the intelligence of our Jack Russell Terriers.

All of us at Funny In The Head would like to see Whackadoomius Americans shamelessly declare their mental health advocacy with charming bumper stickers like the following:

Don’t Honk If You Have Auditory Hallucinations

(Really a satisfying bumper sticker for those who want to take an assertive stance and bamboozle the people behind them. Ideal for those who enjoy hyper-rationality with their delusions.)

Honk If You’re Following Me

(Perfectly constructed to validate feelings of paranoia on an ongoing basis.)

My Other Car Is Piece Of Junk Too

(Aggressive self-deprecation at its very best; intended for use by individuals with self-esteem issues.)

Celebrate Narcissism – It’s All About Me!

(Looks great on a land yacht or other tribute to wretched excess and indulgence. Turns mundane driving into a celebration of self!)

My Pit Bull Ate Your Honors Student

(Combines two perennial favorites into a no-nonsense statement certain to please those with anger issues)

I Drive It Like I Stole It ‘Cause I Did!

(If you got it, flaunt it! If you stole it, boast about your accomplishment. A sure pleaser with kleptomaniacs.)

I’m With Stupid

(Ideally this would have an arrow pointing up. Designed for schizophrenics with low self-esteem who drive alone a lot.)

Don’t Blame Me, I Voted For My Imaginary Friend
(Turn hallucinations into an excuse for political apathy! It’s a win/win.)

Warning: I Brake For Acid-Flashbacks

(When prior drug use sparks episodes of mental illness, turn them into a preemptive DUI defense.)

Don’t Follow Me; I’m Following You!

(This passive/aggressive gem lets drivers turn ineptitude into aggression for lots of laughs.)

Got something to tell the world? Let your bumper do the talking.

I Support Your Right To Arm Bipolar Bears