Bipolar and Displays of Emotion

You speak to an extremely important issue. Among providers, such confusion is far more common than I'd like. I've seen nurses, physicians, and others assume that anger or distrust are pathological: labels range from irritability, mood lability or reactivity, paranoia, lack of insight,and on and on. Many times it has been clear to me that a treater action was the root cause, so often that I began to call it kicking someone in the shins. If they get made at your kick, whose fault is that? Is it a symptom? I submit that it's a perfectly normal response, and that among even acutely symptomatic people, most reactions, decisions, and feelings involve perfectly normal human functions, even if often influenced by symptomatic, inaccurate information. We need to stop blaming the other so readily, and start owning responsibility for our errors so we can improve our relationships and people skills. People with and without mental illnesses have far more in common than most assume.

I really struggle with anger and relate to the "I can't get angry because..." idea. If I do get angry, I get this "there, there, don't get upset" kind of respond. Instead of addressing my concern, I'm just not "allowed" to get angry.
My feelings are so strong that they can be scary, especially anger. I have broken things before, starting at the age of 8. When I saw that part of me, it was so scary that I internalized anger for many years. Now I have to get to a quiet place and take time to calm down. In extreme cases, my husband can talk me down. Only after the initial storm can I formulate a clear response to or awareness of what just happened.

I am British and very calm and polite. I never cry. But last Xmas my mom insulted me and I just threw the contents of my wineglass at her. I am still living it down. But it was almost enjoyable...
It was a reflex and I was a bit drunk. But I prefer doing that than shouting abuse back. Was it an assault? Or just tit for tat?

I feel like my heart is breaking. The suicidal thoughts won't stop. I'm dragging my family down with me. I fel hopeless, lost, and alone. I'm tired and I just want to give up. I'm tired of fighting.

Thanks Natasha. It helps. I'm almost through another day. One day at a time right?

I get the anger thing. I was so angry and understandably frustrated with a pdoc because he insisted on upping the dose of medication I was on THAT MADE ME FEEL TERRIBLY SICK. The side effects were ten times worse than the symptoms the medication was trying to treat and he wanted to up it??? I was telling him in angry outbursts that I felt like I was talking to a wall because I didn't feel like he was listening to my initial complaints that the medication I was on was making things worse NOT BETTER!!! My anger was VALID yet he took it as a symptom of my bipolar disorder and wanted to give me more. Doctors really need to learn to listen to their patients more if they want them to comply. Thankfully my pdoc was eventually willing to try something new with me that finally worked a lot better

I love this part "It’s incredibly dismissive when a person attributes your genuine, real emotions to an illness. When someone writes off what you’re saying and just responds with, “Go take your meds,” it’s incredibly hurtful and minimizing. We have feelings too! And those feelings should be allowed expression, just like with everyone else."
I have terrible PMS and have since I was a teen. I get irrationally emotional one(ish) week a month and am constantly dismissed about it. If I'm generally sad or upset about something it doesn't "count" until I'm still sad about it a week later.
There are reasons for feelings, whether reactive or due to something beyond our control, whatever that may be! Dismissing them is like dismissing US as if we are unable to have genuine feelings of "normal" people.
I'm sure whether you have bipolar or premenstrual (or insert your diagnosis here) "feelings" they hurt just as bad and cut just as deep as "normal" feelings~sometimes, for this exact reason, they hurt worse!!

I mostly agree with your video about people assuming that anger is a symptom of bipolar rather than an authentic response to crap.
BUT... I think these days people seem to act as if NO feelings is the norm and that anyone with feelings is abnormal. I am tired of people telling me that compassion is a sign of emotional weakness, seems that ANY emotion is a sign of being out of control. People with no connection to emotions are called sociopaths/psychopaths. THAT is far more scary to me than someone expressing FEELINGS.

This message is for Sherry. When you threw the wine at your mom on Christmas, how old were you are the time? Maybe I should re-phrase that. If you were drinking wine and not really drunk and your mom or anyone for that matter said something to you that insulted you, then yes you had the right to do that. Obviously you were old enough to drink, but having even your own parent insult you was totally not appropriate even you being their daughter and regardless of your age. Putting it another way: I can do that to my child regardless of their age simply because the child is mine; I DON'T THINK SO! Correcting a child is one thing, but outright sarcastic comments are totally another thing.

I am a bit late in on this conversation, but I could not agree more. When I received my diagnosis and the people close to me knew---it felt like everything I did, thought or felt would be viewed through that lens. "Oh, Jen is just depressed. Jen needs more meds." People with mental health conditions have at least the same spectrum of human emotions as all people do. When our thoughts, actions, and/or emotions are shuffled off to our condition it devalues us, and (as dramatic as it sounds) takes away our "right" to feel and have that feeling be called valid.