Life with borderline personality disorder means accepting the fact that some days will be better than others. Recently, I had a bad day. My therapist has suggested several different ways to distract myself from self-harming in hopes that I can put it off until the urge passes. Here is what's worked for me.

I'll be blunt--Indianapolis is my city, and I love my city, warts and all. Recently a dominatrix-turned-political-activist was selling books at the farmer's market I frequent. Long story short, I now own an autographed copy of Spanking City Hall by Melyssa Hubbard. The book is a delightful romp through the world of kink and the lawsuit designed to stop it, ultimately culminating in a triumph of the little guy. I've learned many things from this book, including why sex should be safe to explore, why it's important to stand up for yourself even if it doesn't look like you've got a chance, and how some people just go out of their way to undermine you. These are all great lessons for a person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) to learn.

One of my friends from AA relapsed recently. Her struggle has caused me to learn many things. One is that alcoholism is a progressive, deadly disease that is "cunning, baffling and powerful", and that you must always be on guard because alcohol relapse is easy, no matter how many years sober you have. The second is that you have to have a reason to stay sober, and you have to work at it. The third is that alcoholism relapse can happen to anyone.

One of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder (BPD) is self-destructive, impulsive behavior such as alcoholism. For a person with both BPD and a substance abuse issue, staying sober and therefore able to feel "sane," can be a struggle. Today is one such day for me, but I have a plan to stay sober, just for today.

Yoga, an ancient Hindu exercise designed to bring spiritual enlightenment, has slowly gained in popularity in the West. It has many health benefits, including some benefits for borderline personality disorder and other severe mental illnesses. More Than Borderline's Becky Oberg demonstrates three easy poses: Mountain, Warrior, and Downward-Facing Dog.

Yesterday, I was evacuated from my apartment due to problems with the power, the heat, the roof, and the water. I spent the night at a shelter and returned home today. It was not a fun experience, but it made me think about what people with a mental health condition should do to keep their sanity in the event of a natural disaster.

I'll be honest, I'm not in the proverbial "Christmas Spirit". Things have been rough lately. I got challenged to a fistfight (When Violence Accompanies Mental Illness), my 2-year-old niece had surgery, my neighbor died and I lost one of my jobs. That's a lot to get hit with during an ordinary time of year, but around Christmas... Well, it taught me that Christmas is not always a joyous time of year for everyone. And that's okay.

Regardless of whether it has pagan or Catholic origins, Halloween is a time of year to remember the dead. For example, my church takes a moment to remember our members who have died - two of them by suicide. So, in honor of Halloween or All Saints Day or whatever you call it, here are the life lessons I've learned from death.

I'll be honest--I am angry today. Two weeks ago, I made arrangements to get $100 out of my disability account. The first week, last week, one of my neighbors died, which caused my payee to have to reschedule checks to this week. Today, there was no sign of the check. I am very angry. Yet I am calm and have not resorted to any negative coping skills. I've relearned how to be angry.

I'll be honest, I hate country music. For example, as someone who lived next to train tracks for a year, I don't consider listening to the "Night Train" romantic because the horn is too dang loud. And leaving my abusive ex was not themed like "Independence Day" or "Goodbye, Earl", as much as I would've loved to get even. But some of it just rings true, especially Tim McGraw's "My Next Thirty Years". Maybe I'm a bit reflective because I turn 35 tomorrow, but it seems to fit with my attitude towards life.