Coronavirus Confinement Triggers My Binge Eating

I've been in coronavirus confinement at home in Barcelona for over a month, and my binge eating cravings are driving me crazy. My body and mind feel like a battleground. I'm in a constant struggle with myself over food.

The situation is triggering more cravings than usual, but I never keep "binge foods" in the house, and a run to the shops is not worth the risk. However, I am indulging in more comfort foods like bread, pasta, and homemade pizza, because, as a wise friend pointed out to me: food is a source of comfort, especially at a time like this. 

What Happened When Coronavirus Confinement Triggered My Binge Eating

When the crisis began in Italy in February, it triggered my binge eating disorder. My knee-jerk reaction to bingeing was to restrict. I undertook a 24-hour fast and limited the types of food I would "allow" myself to eat.

I've also been steadily gaining weight since February. A lot of people are talking about this on social media, but for me, it's a trigger because it makes me restrict my food to try to control my weight. And restricting always ends in bingeing. 

I became aware of this during the three weeks I was alone while my partner was in Italy at the beginning of the crisis. I went through several restriction-bingeing cycles during that time. His return home helped me break the pattern, but life in confinement and the accompanying anxiety are taking their toll. I'm also still gaining weight. All of which makes me tempted to restrict. 

Breaking the Cycle of Food Restriction in Coronavirus Confinement

However, I know that restricting during the coronavirus confinement is not the answer, and, no matter what stories I might tell myself, it will only perpetuate the cycle. Instead, I remind myself there may be many reasons why I'm gaining weight. Yes, it may be my diet, but it could also be stress, poor sleep, or even muscle gain. And, as my wise friend also said, it's actually pretty amazing to put on weight during a global pandemic. I should thank my body for trying to help me survive.

For people in recovery from binge eating disorder, it can be tempting to restrict at a time like this to gain an illusion of control amid the chaos. But now is the time to be kind to our bodies. To sustain them with a balance of nourishing and comforting foods, to honor them through loving movement, and to celebrate them for keeping us alive. 

So if you feel the urge to restrict, please remind yourself that your body doesn't deserve to be treated that way. Instead, thank it for all it does for you by feeding it nourishing, delicious foods that you love. 

How are you coping with cravings during the crisis? What do you do to stop the restriction-binge cycle? Let me know in the comments.