When to Disclose an Anxiety Disorder

Following on from last week's article on why to disclose an anxiety disorder, I thought I’d say a little about when to disclose an anxiety because it is, perhaps, as important as why. I’d been talking about the necessary value of revealing secrets in recovering from a mental health issue. In discussing that, Holly Gray, HealthyPlace’s recently-retired Dissociative Living blogger, mentioned that doing so doesn’t mean giving up one’s right to privacy.

This isn’t gossip, it’s your life.

For most, if not all, of us with mental health challenges to face, the idea of anything which might ‘give us away’ is anathema. Honestly, for a great while telling or having anybody know about my PTSD was the last thing I wanted. I mean you hear plenty of how people have "nervous breakdowns", but precious little about the before and after. And the notion of a nervous breakdown may or may not have anything to do with an anxiety disorder; nevertheless it is under that broad, vague umbrella which the disclosure of an anxiety disorder sits.

Hear and you forget;
see and you remember;
do and you understand. -Confucius

The benefits of deciding when to tell

You can:

• Define and control the story;
• Limit potential fallout;
• Educate, without compromising privacy;
• Include the other person (People who feel part of something are far less likely to stigmatize it.);
• Tell in a comfortable situation (Walking on the beach, at a special lunch date just for you and them, versus accidentally oversharing over the Christmas party punch.);
• Involve people appropriately in the steps to recovery.

Anxiety: This isn't depression or bipolar we're talking.

The PBS specials are non-existent, and though the basic terminology of anxiety is well-known, has become colloquial even, the realities aren't. Those you choose to tell, in the workplace or in social circles, may well be getting their assumptions from Hoarders (best-case scenario) but say just enough at the right time and you can nip fear and mistrust in the bud. (Other people’s ignorance is a boon where you control the story, and a minefield where you don’t.)

Even if someone is educated about panic, it's best to remember that education may not translate to support, or validation. Don’t tell before you’re ready for that. And don’t disclose until you have (hopefully in consultation with a therapist) come up with a plan for telling, one that includes self-care afterwards, whether things go all right or not.

• Tell when it feels right for you, and when it will promote the steps you’ve already taken to treat anxiety.

It takes hope to tell