Traumatic Anxiety Changes Lives

Trauma and anxiety change lives. Profoundly, and at their most fundamental levels.

It seems obvious, once said. One of those things: it is what it is, right?

Anxiety: Sh## happens, then you...

Then you pick up the pieces. Then you realize life isn't something you can wear emblazoned on your chest. It isn't a war wound, or a slogan. And you don't get a medal for making it out alive.

Not when the fight is a 'normal', every day thing.

Because it's in your mind. A long, silent tension edging out the calmer moments, taking up far too much space in a life that's trying to be lived, not just spent treating anxiety and its impact on you.

Trauma affects development in children, and anxiety limits the potential of far too many people in our lives. It keeps people isolated, locked in their own private pains with few ways in or out. Few ways to access those simple things that are so easy to take for granted if you're not suffering from an anxiety disorder: Touch, communication, spirit. Acknowledgment. Hope.

Acknowledge anxiety: help is that hard, and that simple

It's really hard for the people around us not to take our emotions personally. Even if cognitively, rationally, they know it isn't personal. From an intimate perspective, it's always personal.

And for just that reason, because it's always personal, I know a lot of folks with anxiety disorders find themselves having to walk a fine line with anxiety. Wandering between TMI, and taking responsibility for it. Which is OK. Tiring, but OK.

It's all tiring, after a certain point. That's where it helps to have outlets, a strong mental health support network, a lot of anxiety coping skills under your belt to back you up. It's no guarantee it'll keep panic away but it's a solid foundation.

Coping with anxiety

Coping with anxiety is like fighting an alien using only your invisible sword and a stick of gum: Unless you're MacGyver it's unlikely that sufficient effort alone is enough.

You can't conquer anxiety by force of will

I mean, if you can't even name your enemy most days except to shrug and think gee, what a surprise, I'm still anxious and depressed then yeah, anxiety changes your life. As much as I try to change anxiety, tame it, evict it from heart, mind and soul: it's a Sisyphean task.

Some days I find I'm still waiting for the part where I magically feel better because I kissed a few toads. Which isn't so much going to happen but you know what will?

I will take another breath, do my level best to get up again tomorrow, and I will remember.

It's OK to remember the trauma, experience anxiety

I will remember that today is a brave new world. Maybe, just maybe.

And hang on, with anxiety and turmoil comes the idea that for all the things out there that I could fear, they aren't the enemy.

Some wounds, memories, anxieties, they are buried so deep, so deep that all you can do is walk amongst them. Once in a while. When you are ready, having gotten up off the floor for yet another round. Another day. Another year.

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