Ways to Provide Support to Yourself and Your Partner

March 17, 2019 Martha Lueck

Supporting yourself and your partner is equally important in a relationship, but we often put our partner first. Learn how to restore balance at HealthyPlace.

How can you support yourself and your partner? Many people believe that it is selfish to think about their own needs instead of someone else's. As a result, they put their loved ones first, sacrificing their own mental health. But what if I told you that it is possible to support yourself and your partner? The key is to balance the support you want to distribute. To learn about how my boyfriend and I find a healthy balance in our relationship, supporting ourselves and each other, read this article.

First Acknowledge the Importance of Self-Care

About a month ago, I started a new relationship. Before I pursued the relationship, I was afraid that all of my problems would become a burden for my boyfriend. When I finally revealed my feelings for my boyfriend and expressed my fears, we both agreed that in order for a relationship to work, we needed to work on ourselves. I think having a conversation about our fears, desires, and boundaries helped us establish a solid foundation for an effective support balance. Here are three things that have aided in finding this balance.

3 Ways to Support Yourself and Your Partner

  1. Establish boundaries on how often you will see each other. To many people, limiting how much time you see a significant other might sound ridiculous. But because I did not have good experiences with relationships, I wanted to make sure that we took it slow. I wanted to make sure that neither of us would become dependent on the other. So for the first two weeks, my boyfriend and I only saw each other once per week. Of course, we still texted every day. But setting boundaries on when we would see each other gave us a chance to process where we were emotionally on our own. Over time, the boundaries change ("Why do you Need Boundaries in Relationships?").
  2. Discuss the book called The Five Love Languages. About three weeks into the relationship, my boyfriend and I started to talk about The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. We read the chapters on our own and then talked about the discussion questions when we saw each other. That way, we got to know each other more and learn how to speak each other's love languages ("Understanding the Five Love Languages"). Both of us are excited to keep reading the book and see how it benefits our relationship in the future.
  3. Talk to your own therapist. Just like many couples use couples' therapy to sort out problems, my boyfriend and I use our own therapists to talk about our relationship. Therapy is very personal. By talking to separate therapists, we can improve ourselves on our own terms. We can learn how to work on self-care while showing healthy support in the relationship. Therapy is a great way for us to get to know how to love and respect ourselves so that we can do the same for each other.

Every relationship is different. Everyone has different needs and desires. If you are in a relationship, I hope you remember that your wellbeing is no less important than that of your significant other's. If you have tips on how to support yourself and your partner, please share in the comments.

APA Reference
Lueck, M. (2019, March 17). Ways to Provide Support to Yourself and Your Partner, HealthyPlace. Retrieved on 2024, July 21 from

Author: Martha Lueck

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