Healthy Alternatives to Self-Injury

This week, I'm focusing on healthy alternatives to self-injury as a followup to my previous article about using natural supplements to calm anxiety and self-injury urges.

Contrary to popular opinion, I do not believe that cathartic techniques suggested by many treatment centers, books and websites are beneficial to coping with self-injury urges. These techniques can include:

• snapping a rubber band against the wrist
• coloring on your arms with a red pen
• holding an ice cube to your skin
• hitting, punching or breaking items.

These types of activities may keep you from self-harming more seriously, but they can reinforce the belief that feelings and emotions need to be expressed in a physical way. A lot of self-injurers believe that if they become upset or angry, they must become aggressive in some way to "blow off steam". This is simply not true and it prevents you from truly dealing with the underlying problems behind your urge to self-injure.

For Self-Injury, Quick Fixes Don't Work

What we must understand is that these coping mechanisms are short-term fixes for long-term problems. In reality, there is no "quick-fix" for self-injury. Self-injurers have to learn that there are better ways to regulate their feelings and emotions, that will serve them in the long-run. You need to manage your moods and emotions instead of immediately feeling like you must get rid of them.

One way to cope with self-injury urges is to expand the time frame between the urge to self-injure and the actual act. Many people who self-injure reach for a "quick fix" at the smallest sign of distress. As a result, the ability to slow down, stop and think about your problems is lost. There becomes less of a time frame between wanting to self-injure and actually going through with it. S.A.F.E Alternatives calls this "the window of opportunity" and people can learn many ways to create their own "window".

Self-Injury Alternatives That Work

List 5-10 comforting activities or temporary distractions. These temporary distractions can be done anytime or anyplace, so that you are always prepared when the urge to self-injure strikes. Instead of going from impulse to action, you are giving yourself time to think.

Some of the most common distractions are:

1. Filling out an Impulse Control Log
2. Writing in a journal
3. Talking and listening to a trusted person
4. Challenging distorted thinking
5. Just sitting and allowing yourself to experience feelings
6. Taking a walk (not a physically exhausting exercise)
7. Listening to music (opposite to how you are feeling)
8. Working on an art/craft project
9. Playing an instrument
10. Cooking a meal

Keep in mind: You will NOT experience the same quick relief that self harm provided at first. You will feel genuine emotions and feelings. This may be scary but you have to learn to live with them to work through your problems. Remember, you have been using self-injury to deny your emotions and numb yourself. In order to recover, you will need to open yourself up to finally feeling these things.

Remember: Feelings won't kill you. It's okay to feel uncomfortable or not like how you're feeling. Feelings aren't "good or bad," they are simply "comfortable or uncomfortable." By acknowledging them, it will help you to overcome the urge to hurt yourself.

Portions of this blog adapted from "Bodily Harm: The Breakthrough Healing Program for Self-Injurers"

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