Laughter and Friends Fix Most ADHD Gaffes

Sometimes the ADHD mind strikes when you least expect it. All you want to do is look cool to your friends and then your mouth gets a crossed message from the hypersillymus, a part of the brain I just made up. Next thing you know, you've opened your mouth and stated the stupidest thing since a young Dutch boy standing near a moistened wall told a passing schoolmate to pull his finger. Good thing your friends know how to have a good laugh.

Is Embarrassing Yourself an Adult ADHD Symptom?

There I was, leaving a comment on somebody's Facebook status when I looked at the left pane and thought, "Who the heck are these people? I never added them as friends." Then I realized they weren't my friends. I was on somebody else's Facebook page. Embarrassing.

Of course, it wouldn't have been truly embarrassing if I hadn't thought to share it as a status update so my friends could have a giggle. I type silly things about myself all the time, but this time I outdid myself. I posted the status update on somebody else's wall…

Fortunately, that somebody was a real friend as opposed to an online friend. He had a good laugh and just chalked it up to me being up too late. It occurred to me that the situation could have turned out differently. It certainly had before. Ten years ago, I didn't know what I know now. I wasn't as discerning about the people I interacted with. I seemed to be surrounded by judgmental people with no sense of humor. If I made a mistake, I was likely to be greeted by wrinkled noses and furrowed eyebrows. I was almost guaranteed to find myself ostracized from the group again.

Social Skills and Adult ADHD

Something about many ADHD adults gives them a whoppingly bad social compass. They couldn't find their way from one end of a party to the other without offending the host, the host's mother, the guests, and the caterer. It's a true talent. You don't think it could be the ADHD, could it? Nah.

Well, I never did find the secret to navigating parties, but I did learn three very important lessons:

1. Pick non-judgmental, easy going people to be your friends. A sense of humor is a plus.
2. Stop worrying about what other people think.
3. Learn to laugh at yourself. You'll put others at ease and you'll stop beating yourself up over every silly faux pas.

I realized long ago that I might as well get used to making mistakes. It seemed to be the only talent I had. And it wouldn't hurt to like myself a little more than I did—maybe even laugh at myself instead of getting angry for messing up again. It's not that I suddenly decided I didn't have to be responsible, but given a choice between apologizing and having somebody dislike me or apologizing, finding the humor in the goof, and still having somebody dislike me, the choice was pretty clear. I can't do anything about what others think of me, but I can do everything about how I think about myself.

Well, that and maybe I won't be using Facebook so casually at bedtime again. Who knows what I'll write next time?

Follow me on Twitter for my ADHD escapades at @SplinteredMind or my novel writing project over at @DouglasCootey. And if you're a glutton for punishment you can friend me on Facebook as well.