advertisement

Signs and Symptoms of Abuse

There can be numerous side effects that you experience as the victim of verbal abuse. For me, trusting people after those years of abuse was impossible. But, not everyone will be affected in the same way, and each person's healing journey is unique. Sometimes you will be able to work through the aftermath of verbal abuse, but often, you can carry these emotions with you for years. Until you can process your history, verbal abuse can continue to have disastrous results on your life, as it was for me.
Witnessing verbal abuse of someone you know or love can be a difficult situation to process. Watching a friend or family member face abuse can create feelings of fear or anger in yourself while the victim is oblivious or minimizes the abuse. So what can you do if you see the mistreatment of one of your loved ones?
You do not have to be in an abusive relationship to experience verbal abuse. There can be many situations where an individual is subjected to verbal abuse from strangers. Unfortunately, this happens more often than you think. These random incidents are not okay, but it can be hard to deal with them when they come up. It can be in the form of personal insults, name-calling, or other belittling comments.
When you face the onslaughts of verbal abuse, it can be hard to find your voice amid the chaos and stress. It can be especially complex when it happens in gatherings of family members. Verbal abuse in family situations can make many people feel awkward and unsure how to deal with the abuser and the victim.
When you are facing verbal abuse regularly, there may be a question of physical abuse following it. The term "abuse with bodily harm" has been coined, and while that is true, it is not always the case. In my experience, those who are verbally abusive may not be physically abusive, but there can be the threat of escalation.
Verbal abuse in friendships happens more than we think. After all, friends are not the first people that come to mind when you think of verbal abuse. If you are facing any signs of verbal abuse from a close friend, you are not alone.
Verbal abuse in work relationships happens regularly. After all, haven't you heard the cliche that employees leave bosses, not jobs? In many situations, this is quite true, especially when the person you report to is verbally abusive in the workplace. Unfortunately, I was the victim of verbal abuse at work on more than one occasion. Thankfully, I was able to pick up the pieces of my shattered ego and leave for a better career path.
For some individuals like myself, the introduction of verbal abuse begins growing up at home. Many times, parents can be a child's first experience with demeaning comments, insults, or even regular bullying.
What does verbal abuse look like? That's a good question because when verbal abuse happens in a relationship, the abuse can be subtle, overt, or somewhere in between. Verbal abuse is often subtle in the beginning stages of a partnership, and then it evolves, becoming much more recognizable. I've asked myself this question many times: "How do I know if his actions and words constitute verbal abuse?"
Verbal abuse in relationships isn't acceptable, but I've often wondered if verbal abuse is forgivable. Throughout 15 years of brainstorming and therapy, I came to a conclusion — verbal abuse can be forgivable in some situations, however, the abuser has to work on himself, put in the necessary effort, and actually change.