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“Personal unhappiness is the single greatest contributor to most relationship problems.”

rel_bullet.gif (243 bytes) Defining Love
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Core Components of Love
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How Do We Express Love?

rel_bullet.gif (243 bytes) Is Love Painful?

rel_bullet.gif (243 bytes) Types of Relationships
     rel_bullet2.gif (82 bytes) Romantic Love Relationships
     rel_bullet2.gif (82 bytes) Are You In Love or Infatuated?

rel_bullet.gif (243 bytes) The Key to Successful
      Relationships

rel_bullet.gif (243 bytes) Problems in Relationships
     rel_bullet2.gif (82 bytes) I love you more
     rel_bullet2.gif (82 bytes) Nothing in common
     rel_bullet2.gif (82 bytes) We can't talk about that
     rel_bullet2.gif (82 bytes) If you loved me, you would...
     rel_bullet2.gif (82 bytes) Starting over with another

rel_bullet.gif (243 bytes) How We Fight
     rel_bullet2.gif (82 bytes) I'll show you, I'll ignore you
     rel_bullet2.gif (82 bytes) I need to teach you a lesson
     rel_bullet2.gif (82 bytes) You hurt me, now I hurt you

rel_bullet.gif (243 bytes) How to Improve Your
      Relationship

rel_bullet.gif (243 bytes) Be Self "ish" In Love

self logoWho comes first, you or your relationship? Although answering “the relationship” may sound honorable and based on a deep level of love and commitment, its an unhealthy and destructive way to live. It is only when you can honor and love yourself first, that the relationship can be a truly loving one and not one based on need, dependency, fear, or insecurities. When each partner comes to the relationship whole, the relationship becomes an enhancement of your life and not life itself.

Most of you have flown on an airplane. Have you ever wondered why they tell you to put your OWN mask on first, before you help your child? Seems kinda selfish, doesn’t it? I mean, we’ve been taught that the ultimate in love is self sacrifice, right? Why do these airlines tell us to save ourselves first?!? There’s a practical reason they instruct you to do this. Think about it. How can you help someone when you’re either unconscious or dead?

Love is similar to that air mask. You can’t fully love another unless you love yourself FIRST. Strap that air mask on good and tight, and you can love an endless amount. If you don’t love yourself first, you have no love to give. If you truly put yourself first in love, nurture yourself, honor what you want, and make YOUR happiness the number one priority, you are better equipt to love others. Love deeper. We love others to the degree we love ourselves.

And as I've said, part of loving one’s self is accepting (being happy with who we are). Consequently, we love to the degree we’re happy. While we are unhappy and attending to our fears, we are not loving. The self is always crying out for acceptance. When we deny ourselves that acceptance, life gets twitsted. Our attention gets sucked into a void inside ourselves, leaving nothing left to give to another.


Suggested Reading:

    To Love Is To Be Happy With by Barry Neil Kaufman
    Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray
    Love Is A Decision by Gary Smalley
    Happiness Is A Choice by Barry Neil Kaufman
    Living With Joy by Sanaya Roman
    Conversations With God - Book 1 by Neale Donald Walsh

Home  |  Defining Love  |  Is Love Painful?  |  Relationship Types
Key To Success  |  Problems  |  How We Fight
Improving Your Relationship   |  Email Me

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