I found out that I have OCD Two years ago (I am 36) and am currently on
medication to help me deal with it. I have read some of what people have
written and what you have had to say and would like to say thanks for giving
people the chance to hear about all the different forms that OCD can take.
One thing that I would like to add is that OCD can take different forms
during your life, meaning that as the important things in your life change,
so does the doubts (OCD).
I can remember when it first hit me, I was in the sixth grade and had
broken my leg ( this gave my mind plenty of time to work). During my younger
years I had done things such as taking money from my parents and relatives
and candy from stores. When my mind had a chance to let me know what I had
been doing, it was a whole new ball game. It went from telling my parents
what I had done to telling them things I had not done! This happened
because if I could picture myself taking money or a toy etc... in my mind,
then it must have happened because I could not erase the idea that maybe I
had done it.
As I got older it went from extreme guilt if I bumped into someone to
if I had said something that they may not understand to if I could picture
anything at all in my mind ( we all know how the mind can work!), having to
do with hurting someone, sexuality, etc... I would go into a deep depression
thinking that either I had or wanted to do what I had thought of.
The problem has become part of my wife's life now. It has taken on
the form of "Do I still Love my wife?", because if I see someone attractive or I
if I don't feel the lovey dovy feelings or have the sexual interest, then I
must Love my wife? I know that this is not true but it is very hard to deal
with.
My wife and I have talked separation, which I hope it doesn't come to
that, but I also know that it is hard for my wife to deal with my ups and
downs.
Please people, if you are having thoughts or are acting out things
that are causing you to be depressed and you feel your life is not in your
control, get the help you need. I have, and although I still deal with OCD
every day, it is easier to know what is causing the guilt and the reactions I
have to my thoughts and to be able to talk about it. Hope this can help
someone.