| sex and intimacy
Sex and Intimacy
There is a saying which goes,
"Men will do anything for sex, even love. Women will do anything for
love, even sex." What is needed is for men and women to bridge the
differences between them, rather than men being 'right' or women being 'right.'
Definitions and realities are in order
here.
- Not all women are alike. Some women are more
evolved than other women.
- Not all men are alike. Some men are more
evolved than other men.
- Gender identity is the sense we have of
belonging either to the male half of the human race or the female half of the
race.
- Gender conceit is when either sex assumes that
what is natural and preferred for her/his sex is correct for both sexes.
In our culture, as in almost any culture,
powerful expectations of how males and females should behave exists. Until
recently, in our culture, the male was expected to be aggressive and detached
from emotion, while the woman was expected to be nurturing and "in
touch" with her emotions.
Although our gender expectations are changing,
they change slowly. There are definite differences in place already for both
men and women that are caused by the way we were
socialized as children.
In addition, each sex thinks his/her sex is the correct one.
Gender identification is so ingrained in our
psyche that we are certain "we are right!" When we are accused of
being wrong for being the way society made us, we become defensive.
It is also common to think the other sex is the
same as our sex. Nothing could be further from the truth. For either sex to
assume that what is natural and preferred for his sex or her sex is correct for
both sexes has been called "gender conceit."
Men and women both want to be loved. Men and
women both want to be respected. Each sex has valid, but different, approaches
to love, intimacy, and sex. They do have different views of what it takes to be
loved and respected.
Actually, what is needed is for men and women
to bridge the differences between them rather than men being "right"
or women being "right." We need to understand the opposite
sex.
There is a saying which goes, "Men will
do anything for sex, even love. Women will do anything for love, even
sex." For men, being sexually active is being alive and fulfilled. It
confirms their masculinity and raises their self-esteem. For women, being
hugged, touched, caressed, and cuddled is often much more important than
sex.
Men are easily aroused. Women must often give
themselves permission to "turn on."
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