Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
I couldn't do anything without rituals. They transcended every aspect
of my life. Counting was big for me. When I set my alarm at night, I had
to set it to a number that wouldn't add up to a "bad" number. If my sister
was 33 and I was 24, I couldn't leave the TV on Channel 33 or 24. I would
wash my hair three times as opposed to once because three was a good luck
number and one wasn't. It took me longer to read because I'd count the
lines in a paragraph. If I was writing a term paper, I couldn't have a
certain number of words on a line if it added up to a bad number. I was
always worried that if I didn't do something, my parents were going to
die. Or I would worry about harming my parents, which was completely irrational.
I couldn't wear anything that said Boston because my parents were from
Boston. I couldn't write the word "death" because I was worried that something
bad would happen. "Getting dressed in the morning was tough because I had
a routine, and if I deviated from that routine, I'd have to get dressed
again. I knew the rituals didn't make sense, but I couldn't seem to overcome
them until I had therapy."
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