In beginning these notes, I wish to acknowledge the authors for
having taken the highly unusual step of asking me an absorber rather
than a dispenser of therapy, a client rather than a colleague to write
this foreword. Their request is very much in keeping with the
philosophical orientation of TIR, an approach
to dealing with post-traumatic and other painful conditions that is
truly, even radically, client-centered, as you will discover.
Originally, having read a number of my e-mail posts1 to
a forum focused on trauma, Gerald asked me if I'd be willing to describe some of
my own experiences with TIR as a contribution to this book. Initially,
he and Chrys had told me they considered including my reflections as a
brief case history, written from the viewpoint of a client. Following
some discussion on the telephone, however, Gerald asked me if I'd be
willing to tackle the ocean instead of the swimming pool, and actually
to set forth what follows.
I had a brief moment of panic. The panic was very real, and probably
based on a long history of self-doubt, feelings of unworthiness,
passivity, and an obsessive perfectionism. That its intensity dwindled
to nothing in the space of no more than perhaps ten seconds is the first
of a great number of positive changes that have recently occurred in my
life that I believe stem directly from my experience with the procedure
that this book describes.
I first came across Traumatic Incident Reduction (TIR) on the
Internet in the late months of 1997. I had been researching various
concepts of traumatic bereavement, had read some insightful papers by
two of the leading researchers on childhood trauma (Bruce Perry and
Bessel van der Kolk) and was deeply involved in correspondence with Dr.
Holly Prigerson at the Yale School of Biomedicine and Dr. Katherine
Shear of Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic concerning their
theories and research into what was then being termed Traumatic
Grief. Truth be told, what I was really engaging in was an attempt
to find a path towards my own healing; towards ending the pain,
confusion, and uncertainty that had kept my true sense of myself, my
abilities, my fulfillment and any real pleasure in life at bay for the
previous forty years. A description of some of my background seems
relevant; forty-plus years of my past history includes a number of
elements and incidents.
There was the sudden and unexpected loss of my
mother, who died of a cerebral hemorrhage when I was six years old. Her
death left me with unresolved mourning, morbid and overwhelming grief,
and a profound sense of subconscious guilt, exacerbated by the fact that
her death was never discussed, explained, or dealt with at the time that
it happened. There was no funeral, no grave site or memorial, and very
few mementos of her former existence. Because of that, and because of
the fact that my relationship with her before her death was also
ambivalent (and co-dependent, due to her own untreated depression) it is
perhaps not surprising that some of my pathology included an inability
to accept the reality of her death at a core level. Thus I developed an
unconscious tendency to search for the lost object of attachment,
coupled with learned helplessness, compulsive care-giving, low
self-esteem, self-destructive behavior, abandonment anxiety disorders,
and an inability to express anger, accompanied by profound irrational
fear. My father too was suffering depression and a host of other devils
of his own. In consequence, he was given, however unintentionally, to
shaming and other forms of psychological abuse, thus creating another
layer of trauma.
My family's history includes bipolar disorders (with concomitant
hospital confinements and suicide attempts) and a disproportionate share
of depressive disorders, on both paternal and maternal sides, some of
which are probably partially genetic in origin. My own more recent
history consisted of six major depressive episodes of long duration,
requiring medication, and five losses of significant relationships, each
of which I perceived as utter abandonment. In sum, then, as you might
imagine, I had a great susceptibility to triggering of very painful
negative affect throughout my life by any circumstance bearing even the
faintest resemblance to earlier and seemingly similar traumata. I had
been in ongoing psychotherapy for the past twenty-five years with three
very competent therapists Freudian, Jungian, and Cognitive-Behavioral
and I had been on anti-anxiety and antidepressant medication, including
Valium, Flurazepam, various Tricyclics and, most recently, SSRIs.
Needless to say, after slipping into another deep depression
following yet another loss of a significant relationship in the Fall of
1997, with all the familiar accompaniment of the associated massive
triggering of emotional affect from earlier traumas, I was ready to
consider the possibility of a different approach to my worsening
condition. And several days before my forty-seventh birthday, I
embarked on a course of TIR one that led me, in a matter of a very few
days, to a place of complete resolution and to a kind of peace I had
never experienced. The experience enabled me to effect changes in my
self and my perception of the world that I and those who know me well
have had no hesitation in labeling dramatic.
I employ the term "dramatic" in full awareness of the fact that
its use may engender a certain skepticism among therapists jaded by
anecdote. So be it. I could find no better word in Webster's Second
Edition, unabridged, which defines it as: "of, or pertaining to, the
drama; vivid; expressed with action," and of drama: "a composition,
usually in prose, arranged for enactment and intended to portray
the life of a character, or to tell a story, with dialogue tending
toward some result." The process of Traumatic Incident Reduction
contains all of these elements. It allows one to tell one's "story"...
to reenact it; to compose a dialogue with oneself that seemed
inevitably, to me, to lead to a very significant result: the action of
the "drama" resolving into a much-desired outcome. In my case, the
outcome has been healing, peace, satisfaction, fulfillment, and the
cessation of often unbearable pain and distress.
Traumatic Incident Reduction gave me the ability to resolve and
eliminate all the major negative affects surrounding my mother's death
and the subsequent additional traumas. It gave me the ability finally
to acknowledge and accept the reality of that death and loss, and I am
now in the process, with other members of my family, of creating the
actual, physical, previously unfinished grave-marker destined to become
her memorial. It gave me profound relief from all the unconscious
feelings of guilt on both an inexplicable emotional level and a very
real and present cognitive level.
TIR has allowed me to restructure a very deep and impairing
belief-system that had kept me from the joys and fulfillment that I now
know I deserve and desire and have begun to attain. It has restored to
me my self-esteem and heightened my confidence, else you would not be
reading this. Recently, I have experienced several situations any one
of which, at any time in the past, would have triggered intense feelings
of abandonment, rejection, anxiety or apprehension in me. Since my few
sessions of TIR and Unblocking (that's another remarkable tool you'll
learn about in this book), I have met those situations positively and
optimistically, and without any of the negative emotional charge that
would have dominated my responses in the past.
With what was for me astonishing rapidity, TIR ameliorated all
aspects of my depressive symptoms, both mental and physical. It has
allowed me, for the first time in twenty five years, to feel wholly
comfortable in discontinuing all antidepressant medication, despite my
concern over the fact that earlier this year my father tried to do the
same and ended up in his worst depression ever, followed by an
almost-successful suicide attempt, four months of hospitalization,
extensive ECT, and now a tenuous recovery. Following TIR, with medical
approval and encouragement, I stopped taking a daily 50 mg. of the SSRI,
Paxil, over eight months ago.
TIR has allowed me to accept and undertake increased responsibility
in my life and in my community and to embark a new career of which I had
previously only dreamed. The support that I have gotten from my
community has been equally rewarding. TIR, in fact, has given me back
my life.
Do I think these changes will be long-lasting and permanent?
Yes.
Do I know why? Yes.
Could I explain why? Yes...but the authors of this book do it
better than I could.
Do I think that I will ever be clinically depressed again?
Probably not... and again I assert that my being able to understand this
is one of the added benefits of the constructive quality of life changes
that are common in TIR.
Do I think I'm the exception rather than the rule in the degree
of transformation I have experienced? Possibly...but then I've lately
encountered a lot of impressive anecdote out there suggesting that my
experience is not that uncommon.
Recently, in
the Traumatic-Stress Forum
begun on the Internet by Professor Charles Figley of FSU, there was extended
discussion of a series of questions regarding if and how trauma might
actually be "cured" (a word I've seen enclosed by quotation marks much
more often than not when used by professionals in the context of
traumatic sequelae). One of the participants in the Trauma List posted the following:
"My guess is that clients are brimming with their own wisdom regarding what is in the way
of their cure, and that likewise, many are just waiting for therapists to ask some simple
questions. Which brings me to another question what keeps therapists from asking
these questions?"
I am convinced that the therapist/facilitator using TIR is asking, perforce, some of the
most important of these very simple questions, and (if s/he has been well trained) asking
them in such a way that a client like myself can glean enormous insight, wisdom and relief
in the flow of his or her own answers.
In reviewing the many thoughts that others have recently shared
with me concerning the question of whether all trauma can be cured, I
have concluded that the answer is Yes. I do believe all
non-physical trauma can be cured. And that the cure can be as complete
and permanent as we desire it to be. I also now know that the cure need
be neither as difficult nor as time-consuming as most of us, clients and
therapists alike, have in the past been led to believe.
This book describes the basic techniques, structures, and
communication skills necessary for the effective administration of TIR.
The authors also describe "Unblocking", another valuable procedure that
can enable you as a therapist or facilitator to address situations where
your client's memory of a specific traumatic event seems to be
unavailable, or where repetitive traumas seem to have occluded the
ability of the client to know what areas of life most need to be
addressed.
Since I hope I am speaking from the viewpoint of your client, or
as one trying to put myself in his or her shoes, I urge you to be open
to the possibility that a remarkably high percentage of clients know
what they need in order to change, and will find it by themselves if
allowed to look in the absence of certain kinds of proffered "help" and
"support."2 I believe that any one of us (who meets certain
prerequisites) is capable of tracing unwanted feelings, sensations and
perceptions back to their origins and, in the simple act of "viewing"
those origins, of eliminating their pain and of changing forever for the
better, their bitter cognitive associations.
Again, it is possible to learn to ask a remarkably few questions that open up the
possibility of healing; simple questions...like, "tell me what happened". As well, the
authors of this book stress the therapeutic value of a therapist's not asking, or
saying, much else; of granting the client the empowerment that comes (I can attest) from
having confronted his or her own devils and nightmares uninterrupted, unevaluated, and
unaided and from having had the freedom to reach his or her own conclusions
concerning their true nature and significance.
A therapist I spoke with, recently addressed the issue well,3
"In
any case", with trauma, we are apparently not dealing with any
total or permanent structural changes, since many people seem to
completely get over the negative charge associated with the
events. So, cure seems to me to be a reasonable word to
describe there no longer being an ongoing problem. If the charge is
gone, why not use the word "cure"? If we remember that the same
incident may be experienced as traumatic for one person and not another,
then we conclude that the trauma is in the experience, not the
event. Similarly, it is not in the memory. So, if memories are still
there without the traumatic charge (and the traumatic charge doesn't
come back) then I'd call that cure. I think part of the problem has
been our limited expectations based on our previously limited tools.
People have grown to expect only to feel 'less bad', or to feel bad less
often.... I think that if we set our sights on anything less than cure,
we will wind up settling for less than we need to."
I want to acknowledge the authors of this book for placing, as
all facilitators do, such a large amount of trust in their clients
their "viewers" and for allowing me (without ever even having met me)
the very healing opportunity to write this foreword . If this
description of my own experiences and of the transformations I have
undergone as a result of my own personal and profound encounter with TIR
has served in any way to whet your appetite for more, I shall have
performed a valuable service.
We may not have a solution for many of the illnesses in this
world. We may not have a cure for cancer or AIDS or arthritis. I
believe that we have, with TIR, a cure for trauma-induced mental and
emotional complications, even severe ones. With this in mind, I urge
you to use the knowledge and the wisdom contained in this book to the
best of your abilities. I think it will make quite a difference in the
world a place that I now truly enjoy and look forward to being in for
quite some time.
Peter Shefler
Emerson Point, Maryland
1These were posts on the subject of my own recovery, by
way of
TIR, from the trauma that
characterized my childhood.
2"Help" and "support" which, in my extensive experience
as a
client, I have all too often
found to be an integral part of the therapist's armamentarium.
3This excerpt is from the Traumatic Stress Forum, and was
written
By Harry D. Corsover,
Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist.